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| should i break up w/my bf? |
| yes |
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92% |
[ 81 ] |
| no |
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7% |
[ 7 ] |
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| Total Votes : 88 |
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sarahsiobhan
Joined: 24 May 2009
Location: Wherever I am , I am probably drinking tea.
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 Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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I really appreciate your honesty.....but I still hope that you're wrong. No offense intended. That is just the most shocking thing I have heard in a while.
Why do you (and your friends etc.) do it? Is it really so bad being with just one person? I don't mean for life, but for the duration of that relationship? Personally, I would prefer that if a guy feels like looking elsewhere, he just break up with me first.
Also, from a purely health-wise standpoint, that kind of behavior is just dangerous. If I am in a relationship with a guy, a serious one, the standards of *ahem* protection go down (still B.C., but no condoms...) Maybe I should rethink that policy. What if some guy goes out on a 'Boy's Night' and brings home a nasty little disease? That is SO not okay!....damn it, Baby Wipes, you are making rethink everything I have ever thought about men! I assumed most of you were decent blokes.
In fact, I still think most men are good guys. But maybe I will just readjust my trust-o-metre, which had hitherto been quite high.
I am going to soothe my lost innocence with tea and cereal. |
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prideofidaho
Joined: 19 Mar 2008
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:43 pm Post subject: |
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| sarahsiobhan wrote: |
| Also, from a purely health-wise standpoint, that kind of behavior is just dangerous. If I am in a relationship with a guy, a serious one, the standards of *ahem* protection go down (still B.C., but no condoms...) Maybe I should rethink that policy. What if some guy goes out on a 'Boy's Night' and brings home a nasty little disease? That is SO not okay! |
This terrifies me as well. Nobody has the right to put someone else at risk, and this kind of thing is a major reason why attempts to rationalise cheating are just shallow cop-outs. This is especially problematic now that there is a strong link between the HPV virus and cervical cancer. If you're in a relationship and you know the level of std protection has dropped, just break it off then stick your willy wherever you like. |
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Baby Wipes
Joined: 30 Aug 2009
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:51 pm Post subject: |
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| sarahsiobhan wrote: |
I really appreciate your honesty.....but I still hope that you're wrong. No offense intended. That is just the most shocking thing I have heard in a while.
Why do you (and your friends etc.) do it? Is it really so bad being with just one person? I don't mean for life, but for the duration of that relationship? Personally, I would prefer that if a guy feels like looking elsewhere, he just break up with me first.
Also, from a purely health-wise standpoint, that kind of behavior is just dangerous. If I am in a relationship with a guy, a serious one, the standards of *ahem* protection go down (still B.C., but no condoms...) Maybe I should rethink that policy. What if some guy goes out on a 'Boy's Night' and brings home a nasty little disease? That is SO not okay!....damn it, Baby Wipes, you are making rethink everything I have ever thought about men! I assumed most of you were decent blokes.
In fact, I still think most men are good guys. But maybe I will just readjust my trust-o-metre, which had hitherto been quite high.
I am going to soothe my lost innocence with tea and cereal. |
Apologies for ruining your Friday sarah. I know this kind of stuff is a tough pill to swallow. Eat your Capt Crunch and think happy thoughts.
however..
As for the why. I really dont know. To make it even worse there have been times when I (as well as plenty of guys ive known) have hooked-up with a girl who is far far far inferior to the present gf. Nowhere near as hot or interesting, but just some accessible poon for the taking right then and there. Just something about drinking, having fun, flirting and having an overwhelming desire for some 'strange' at that very moment. I wont go down the "men have a genetic desire to spread their seed" road cause its kinda lame. I think with me its all about the excitment of touching and seeing a new person naked for the first time. Its a rush.
| Quote: |
| Also, from a purely health-wise standpoint, that kind of behavior is just dangerous. If I am in a relationship with a guy, a serious one, the standards of *ahem* protection go down (still B.C., but no condoms...) Maybe I should rethink that policy. What if some guy goes out on a 'Boy's Night' and brings home a nasty little disease? |
Baby wipes. Just have a generous supply of baby wipes. Ask for it by name at By the Way. Just tell them Baby Wipes sent ya. |
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Forbidden Fruit
Joined: 25 Oct 2009
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Baby Wipes wrote: |
| As for the why. I really dont know. To make it even worse there have been times when I (as well as plenty of guys ive known) have hooked-up with a girl who is far far far inferior to the present gf. Nowhere near as hot or interesting, but just some accessible poon for the taking right then and there. Just something about drinking, having fun, flirting and having an overwhelming desire for some 'strange' at that very moment. I wont go down the "men have a genetic desire to spread their seed" road cause its kinda lame. I think with me its all about the excitment of touching and seeing a new person naked for the first time. Its a rush. |
Some people(and I want to believe most people) know what the a priority is and try to live organising their lives accordingly. Of course the priority deffers from person to person and no one can really tell right and wrong. If you think seeing a new girl naked is more important at the moment than being sincere to your gf then so be it.
But it's only a 'better' choice at the moment, isn't it? And the priority should be built based on the 'best' value for each. Oneday I'll be tempted to go out finding someone new and have a little fling or some strange wild night or whatnot. But I will firmly choose which is best for me and my boyfriend, not a seemingly better one. That's the relationship.
For OP, I'm sorry to hear your story. I'm pretty sure you already know what to do. Whether or not he cheated on you, you can't stop being suspicious and he is the one who made you so. It will eat you up eventually. No one deserves that. |
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Baby Wipes
Joined: 30 Aug 2009
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 8:18 pm Post subject: |
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| Forbidden Fruit wrote: |
| Baby Wipes wrote: |
| As for the why. I really dont know. To make it even worse there have been times when I (as well as plenty of guys ive known) have hooked-up with a girl who is far far far inferior to the present gf. Nowhere near as hot or interesting, but just some accessible poon for the taking right then and there. Just something about drinking, having fun, flirting and having an overwhelming desire for some 'strange' at that very moment. I wont go down the "men have a genetic desire to spread their seed" road cause its kinda lame. I think with me its all about the excitment of touching and seeing a new person naked for the first time. Its a rush. |
Some people(and I want to believe most people) know what the a priority is and try to live organising their lives accordingly. Of course the priority deffers from person to person and no one can really tell right and wrong. If you think seeing a new girl naked is more important at the moment than being sincere to your gf then so be it.
But it's only a 'better' choice at the moment, isn't it? And the priority should be built based on the 'best' value for each. Oneday I'll be tempted to go out finding someone new and have a little fling or some strange wild night or whatnot. But I will firmly choose which is best for me and my boyfriend, not a seemingly better one. That's the relationship. |
I think you're missing my whole point in posting my confessions. It's about the inherent, and rarely discussed actions of men when women arent around. We are all painfully aware of how most women feel about this subject. Which is the reason so many guys talk a damn good game in front of them but then screw around when given the opportunity.
Just rehashing the same old 'its wrong. you don't know what a real relationship is" bs just brings us back to square one. You really want to undo all the hard work and progress we've made Ms. Fruit?
To recap: What i've said is not a commentary about right and wrong. Just how prevalent it really is contrary to what most women think. No matter how much you point the finger and cry foul doesn't change the reality of this thing. Call it a tell all expose if you will. |
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Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 9:04 pm Post subject: |
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I agree women like to cheat themselves to believe their boyfriends/husbands are the best and most faithful ones, who turn out to be Baby Wipes, Toilet Paper and Tampon... ( Thanks for your confession, B.W)
There is not much to argue about, really, no matter what kind of "jerk" you think OP's boyfriend is, she thinks him amazing and likes to spend time with him...
Romantically, the happiest people are not those with the best partners, but those who generally love their partners as a whole. |
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Forbidden Fruit
Joined: 25 Oct 2009
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 9:14 pm Post subject: |
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| Baby Wipes wrote: |
| 2 guys at my school for example...When i was home in New York 8 months ago the same was true for other friends i hung out with - some of them married. |
and you said,
| Baby Wipes wrote: |
| Just how prevalent it really is |
Sorry but I have to say,
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| Birds of a feather flock together |
And again,
| Baby Wipes wrote: |
| What i've said is not a commentary about right and wrong. |
Me neither, Sir. Just you are not one of 'some' that I referred to.
*edit:typo |
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nomad-ish
Joined: 08 Oct 2007
Location: On the bottom of the food chain
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 10:45 pm Post subject: |
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| dump him. life's too short to be this unhappy. |
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DrugstoreCowgirl
Joined: 08 May 2009
Location: Daegu-where the streets have no name
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 11:27 pm Post subject: |
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I just don't see how you can sleep with someone else if you are REALLY in love with your SO. When I was with my ex, the thought of being with anyone else made me feel sick to my stomach, because he was the only one I wanted to be with. I really, really love(d) him.
And as someone else said, cheating is the most painful thing that can happen to someone and it will have an effect on every other relationship they'll have. I would never want to do that to someone I really cared for. |
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Baby Wipes
Joined: 30 Aug 2009
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 11:33 pm Post subject: |
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| DrugstoreCowgirl wrote: |
| I just don't see how you can sleep with someone else if you are REALLY in love with your SO. When I was with my ex, the thought of being with anyone else made me feel sick to my stomach, because he was the only one I wanted to be with. I really, really love(d) him. |
men <> women |
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DrugstoreCowgirl
Joined: 08 May 2009
Location: Daegu-where the streets have no name
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 11:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Baby Wipes wrote: |
| DrugstoreCowgirl wrote: |
| I just don't see how you can sleep with someone else if you are REALLY in love with your SO. When I was with my ex, the thought of being with anyone else made me feel sick to my stomach, because he was the only one I wanted to be with. I really, really love(d) him. |
men <> women |
I figured as much  |
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UknowsI
Joined: 16 Apr 2009
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 11:44 pm Post subject: |
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| DrugstoreCowgirl wrote: |
| Baby Wipes wrote: |
| DrugstoreCowgirl wrote: |
| I just don't see how you can sleep with someone else if you are REALLY in love with your SO. When I was with my ex, the thought of being with anyone else made me feel sick to my stomach, because he was the only one I wanted to be with. I really, really love(d) him. |
men <> women |
I figured as much |
But also a bit of some people<>other people. When I'm in love with someone I would feel guilty for sleeping with someone else even if I'm single. |
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I'm no Picasso
Joined: 28 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 12:41 am Post subject: |
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| UknowsI wrote: |
| DrugstoreCowgirl wrote: |
| Baby Wipes wrote: |
| DrugstoreCowgirl wrote: |
| I just don't see how you can sleep with someone else if you are REALLY in love with your SO. When I was with my ex, the thought of being with anyone else made me feel sick to my stomach, because he was the only one I wanted to be with. I really, really love(d) him. |
men <> women |
I figured as much |
But also a bit of some people<>other people. When I'm in love with someone I would feel guilty for sleeping with someone else even if I'm single. |
This.
I refuse to believe that men are more likely to cheat than women are. It's the type of person, not the gender. Maybe that type of person is rare. Whatever. I don't expect to find a fantastic partner in everyone anyway.
OP -- don't let them sucker you into thinking it's "normal". Whether it's usual or not, is another debate. The point is, it's unacceptable. If you aren't aware of it, then there's nothing you can do about it. You are aware of it. You are not okay with it. Don't talk yourself into brushing it off as something that just happens. You don't have to tolerate that out of anyone. Especially out of someone who can't even be bothered enough to try not to hurt you by covering his tracks. Ridiculous. |
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Rae
Joined: 10 Oct 2007
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 4:14 am Post subject: |
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| This guy's a scumbag! Do yourself a favor and dump him and don't ever look back. All the success, good looks, and money in the world is not worth this type of behavior. Don't think it's a maturity thing either, because there's younger guys out there more mature than this. |
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i_teach_esl
Joined: 07 Sep 2006
Location: baebang, asan/cheonan
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| Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 2:00 am Post subject: |
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i got a random msg asking for an update, wow i see i never did update this.
yeah, it ended. he cried & called & emailed, even got his best friend, his cousin and HIS MOTHER to call me on his behalf. i stayed firm and am glad i did. thank you and goodbye! ^^ |
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