Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Dodge7]

[Newbie]

[PatrickGHBusan]

[Captain Corea]

[fosterman]

any parent who is worrying about their kids being bi-lingual, don't.
just look at the hispanic , Korean, chinese kids back home.
they are bi-lingual and went to school with us.
and I have many Bi-lingual friends growing up and they told me they never studied their mothers language, they just grew up speaking it.

it's not hard for your kid to learn two languages. it's very easy
I should know I have done it. my daughter is perfectly bi-lingual.
well, she thinks like a Korean as she went into local school here.
but she is fluent in English. to be honest with you though
her grammar and writing proficiency isn't the same as my brothers
kids back in the states. but then again his kids don't speak two language and were not raised in Korea. but my daughters is pretty damn good for someone who is in Korean school. and it will only keep getting better.
when she is 22 and out of college, it will all be fine.

[Dodge7]

[Dodge7]

[T-J]

Dodge, what happens when she has a friend come over on the weekend or has a birthday party? Do you restrict her relationships to people that can speak English?

[fosterman]

Dodge, I understand your concern of not missing a word spoken by your daughter being able to understand everything being said.
but you work hard, you are out of the house a lot, once your daughter starts
elementary school, around the 3rd grade, you can forget about your wife and daughter speaking English around you.. it will just seem weird for her to use English with her mum as she will think and feel like a Korean by that age
and will want to express her feelings, her school life, her friends all in her native tongue which will be English. good luck with fighting that. I tried.
failed every time,

[Dodge7]

[T-J]

[Steelrails]

Subtle racism towards and not respecting the culture of 1/2 of the origin of a human being, while living in that country of origin.

Yeah, I see good things happening here.

The only advice I could give is "just be real" Trying to make an issue of Korean or English too much one way or the other is just going to drive the kid in the exact opposite of the way you intend (90% chance) OR drive them wayyyyy overboard to your side (10%) and this will result in some sort of destructive behavior.

Think racist redneck dad that for some reason married a black lady. Every day he complains about blacks and his mixed kid over hears it. Do you see good things happening there?

Just be real. Speak English when you feel like it, which is 90% of the time, and the 10% of the time you use Korean out of habit, be cool with it. Don't be some bonehead immigrant dad who has to put 1000 won in the "Korean Jar" at home because you accidentally spoke Korean in your own house while living in Korea.

For goodness sakes. What do you think the child will do when they become a teenager? Probably do everything they can to date some Korean kid and get away from bitter old dad. Korean kid will probably be the exact opposite of dad or what dad complains about- Some pink wearing, KPop loving, Hagwon goin, SKY dream havin, Bibimbop eatin straight from the UriNara Temple Kbrat, either that or some Korean guy 5 years older than her who comes from a mafia family whom she met at a bar she went to while underaged.

But if you're chill and natural, then they'll probably pursue healthy relationships and be open to people of any ethnicity. They'll be open to studying overseas and connecting with their waygook roots and discovering that part of their heritage. They'll be curious about it, maybe even take some pride in it.

Unless you move back, that's what will happen. Move back and odds are they'll grow up typical American (or whatever).

But I've seen mixed-Asian kids back home who definately hang more with Asians and lean towards the Asian side of things. Sometimes you get weird responses from the parents- Knew a half-Taiwanese half-American girl. Dated a white guy, mom (Taiwanese) was fine. But she hung out with a number of Asians and her next boyfriend was Taiwanese-American. Taiwanese mom flipped out, wondering why she would do such a thing. Dad (American) didn't care, thought it was cool that she was open to her heritage and all and could tell that the boyfriend was pretty much an All-American kid anyway (football and cars). That relationship lasted an extra year out of spite towards mom and her daughter not wanting to be a "self-hating Asian".

As a cross-heritage child I would heartily recommend the "salad bowl" approach where you child gets to pick and choose what they wish to adapt or not. The more unnatural and forced you try to make it, the more things will just get messed up.

[Captain Corea]

Great post, Steel.

It really comes down to this for me - be involved and loving. The details will work themselves out.

[s.tickbeat]

When I was growing up, my mom spoke English only and my dad's first language was French. Most of my dad's side of the family spoke very little or no English, and my half-brother and half-sister spoke none. Thus, when I was learning and developing language, I learned the two (French and English) together.

It drove my mom crazy. She would go fucking nuts listening to me read a book out loud in French, for example. But she went into a purple rage to hear my father and I speaking French near her. She couldn't stand to not understand what we were saying.

So, when my sisters were born, my dad refrained from teaching them any French beyond the basics: numbers and colors. They still understand French pretty well, but they're not fluent at all. Limiting their use of the language in the home had a lot of consequences. For one, they just aren't as close to our dad, or to our dad's side of the family. They can barely communicate with our grandparents, and have developed a resentment towards our mother for limiting their possibilities.

Seriously, to the mixed families here in Korea: learn the fucking language. Placing limits how your children express themselves, or on how your spouse and your kids relate to eachother, is just fucking awful. Beyond being lazy and selfish, you're also having a damaging impact on your family. Rather than being open, accepting, loving, and nurturing you become closed, limiting, rejecting, and oppressive.

[PatrickGHBusan]