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Trouble with co-worker (I am not certain where to post)
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markness



Joined: 02 Jan 2013

PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 12:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

everything-is-everything wrote:
Seoulman69 wrote:
A lot of you guys have issues regarding your sexuality. Sleeping in the same bed as a guy doesn't make you gay, or closeted. I've shared a bed with guys loads of times. Football trips, band trips, etc. Kissing (on the cheek), hugging, holding hands. I don't see that as gay. You guys sound really uptight and archaic in your thinking.




Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

Gay!


Oh man I hope that was a joke post.




Anyways, the more gays or gay like behavior the better for me. It makes the picking out for chicks all the more easier.

This is why foreign guys (Korean Americans/Canadians included) do so well in Korea because much of the local male population are a bunch of sissies. The competition is weak. Plus most of the dudes still live at home with their parents.

Women prefer a man without skinny jeans and man bag and makeup.


I'm not saying all Korean males are gay. But there is a lot of gay like behavior that goes on here from a Western perspective.


You are a troll or a douche. I am surprised you think an entire nation of men fall under a certain sexual orientation just because of different behavior. It's quite obvious you never hang around Korean dudes if all of this stuff is a surprise. Heck this isn't even Korean-exclusive behavior. I'm out though, I took your bait.
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chopstick



Joined: 03 Oct 2012

PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 12:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Getting a guy fired for something that didn't happen at work is GAY. You might as well have banged him!
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everything-is-everything



Joined: 06 Jun 2011

PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 12:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

markness wrote:


You are a troll or a douche. I am surprised you think an entire nation of men fall under a certain sexual orientation just because of different behavior. It's quite obvious you never hang around Korean dudes if all of this stuff is a surprise. Heck this isn't even Korean-exclusive behavior. I'm out though, I took your bait.


You sure did Laughing

Anyways, I didn't say all Korean guys were gay, far from it. I know a lot of cool guys here.

But let's be realy here, there are certain things the young Korean male population do here that from a Western perspective (again this isn't a white/black Asian thinigs cause many K-Americans I know have said the same thing) are considered "feminin" or "gay".


Western guys (again not just white or black but also Asian-American) here have some competitive cultural advantages here over the native population.

(1) We don't live with our mom.

(2) We have a job.

(3) We tend to be physically bigger.

(4) We're different.

(5) There's a good chance we might take off in a year - so a relationship with us is dangerous - girls dig that even if they don't want to admit it.

(6) Make up, perms and other metro sexual behavior tends to be frowned upon in our culture. A girl doesn't want to be with a man you spends more time in the mirrow than her.



Now, there's the possibility that all the K-women I've been with are broken women and thus they're dating a foreigner. Laughing Whatever.

But I've also had enough interactions with younger Korean women outside of a physical relationship to know that there is some sort of competitive advantage going on here.
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optik404



Joined: 24 Jun 2008

PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 1:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

everything-is-everything wrote:
markness wrote:


You are a troll or a douche. I am surprised you think an entire nation of men fall under a certain sexual orientation just because of different behavior. It's quite obvious you never hang around Korean dudes if all of this stuff is a surprise. Heck this isn't even Korean-exclusive behavior. I'm out though, I took your bait.


You sure did Laughing

Anyways, I didn't say all Korean guys were gay, far from it. I know a lot of cool guys here.

But let's be realy here, there are certain things the young Korean male population do here that from a Western perspective (again this isn't a white/black Asian thinigs cause many K-Americans I know have said the same thing) are considered "feminin" or "gay".


Western guys (again not just white or black but also Asian-American) here have some competitive cultural advantages here over the native population.

(1) We don't live with our mom.

(2) We have a job.

(3) We tend to be physically bigger.

(4) We're different.

(5) There's a good chance we might take off in a year - so a relationship with us is dangerous - girls dig that even if they don't want to admit it.

(6) Make up, perms and other metro sexual behavior tends to be frowned upon in our culture. A girl doesn't want to be with a man you spends more time in the mirrow than her.



Now, there's the possibility that all the K-women I've been with are broken women and thus they're dating a foreigner. Laughing Whatever.

But I've also had enough interactions with younger Korean women outside of a physical relationship to know that there is some sort of competitive advantage going on here.


Metro sexual behavior is frowned upon in the west? Maybe in some small town. But any large city in the US, well, you'll see just as many men in skinny jeans. Laughing Rappers are wearing skinny jeans these days.
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Seoulman69



Joined: 14 Dec 2009

PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 1:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Gay!


Oh man I hope that was a joke post.




Anyways, the more gays or gay like behavior the better for me. It makes the picking out for chicks all the more easier.

This is why foreign guys (Korean Americans/Canadians included) do so well in Korea because much of the local male population are a bunch of sissies. The competition is weak. Plus most of the dudes still live at home with their parents.

Women prefer a man without skinny jeans and man bag and makeup.


Yeehaw! I smell Redneck. What's wrong, boy. Been squeeling like a pig too much?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uzae_SqbmDE
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billyh



Joined: 18 Apr 2012
Location: NY

PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 3:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This thread is a shitshow. Lot of children doing this teaching in Korea thing. Anyway, I've been too stressed the past few days to even think about the insanely stupid homophobic remarks in this thread.

I'd like to point out that I never at any point was bringing attention to the fact this guy might be gay. The issue here is that he flipped his shit when he didn't like what was happening. The apartment I have is paid for by the school and he damaged something in there. I am absolutely not going to be responsible for the idiocy of some dude who can't handle his alcohol.

Turns out he was fired for a number of other problems had been happening at the school. So this incident actually seems to be a product of that.

To anyone saying that I should just keep my mouth shut and "be cool" "don't break the drinking rules," horseshit. You sound pretty damn spineless. God forbid someone be weirded out by something. I'm a little upset strangers from the internet think I'm a fun sponge.

To the person mocking the fact that I made this thread. Go take a hike. How insanely stupid and naive of me to post for advice on a messageboard that exists for people to ask other more experienced people for advice. I've been in Korea for 8 months and the workplace etiquette is so far removed from anything I am used to. Wanted to make sure I wasn't being extremely out of line before doing anything drastic. Judging from the reactions to this thread, I think I made the right choice.

To the other person that said I'm not going to be trusted anymore, I wonder why I was asked to go out drinking with co-workers tonight?

Weird situation, I'm glad I could provide you all with some (immature) fun.
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slothrop



Joined: 03 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 3:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

edit

Last edited by slothrop on Sun Apr 07, 2013 4:02 am; edited 2 times in total
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billyh



Joined: 18 Apr 2012
Location: NY

PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 3:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Steelrails wrote:
augustine wrote:
Steelrails wrote:
I don't see anything "closet homo".


Latching onto a guy all night, insisting on going back to his place, then going on a destructive tirade in your panties because he doesn't want to sleep in the same bed with you... I'm doubling down on the homo card.


You're modifying the situation. The guy wasn't latching on, the guys were drinking together and one decided to crash at the other's place. The guy never said the dude wanted to sleep in the same bed as him. Remember, a lot of Koreans grew up sharing a bed with mom, dad, and their siblings in their tiny apartment, completely different expectations.

Saying this is 'homo' is like saying football players that slap each other's butts are homo. It's ignoring the context.

I'm making a bit of a deal because I'm familiar with incidents like this. I've also seen things escalate to the point of near-violence because of a misunderstanding about this. The problem is that the next person in this situation might see the same thing and think "Dude's being queer, I'm going to sock him in the face" without understanding the context. This would not be good. It doesn't help when terms like "homo" are thrown out, adding to paranoia and homophobia.


This bothers me a little and I'd like clear myself from this. At no point was I thinking any sort of homophobic thing. I was not comfortable sleeping in a bed with this guy (whom I don't even like to begin with). I said I'm going downstairs. He is the one that started the "near-violence." AGAIN, THE COMING ON TO ME (which can't be confirmed anyway) IS NOT WHAT BOTHERED ME.
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billyh



Joined: 18 Apr 2012
Location: NY

PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 3:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

slothrop wrote:
so the guy got wasted, decided to crash at your apt, got angry, puked all over the place, and damaged the refrigerator.

the funny thing is... if you hadn't alluded to his possibly "being interested" in you, it would have sounded like a typical friday night after some hard core drinking with coworkers.

I'm confused. How did I allude to this? By telling the story?
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slothrop



Joined: 03 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 3:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

edit

Last edited by slothrop on Sun Apr 07, 2013 4:02 am; edited 1 time in total
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ghostrider



Joined: 27 Jun 2011

PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 5:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, there a lot of homophobic/culturally insensitive people in this thread. The fact is that same gender touching is more acceptable in Korea. It's not something that is necessarily sexual. Don't be an ugly American. You live in a foreign country. Stop evaluating everything according to how things are done back in America.
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Malislamusrex



Joined: 01 Feb 2010

PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 6:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The guy dented your fridge and made a mess of your place and you got him fired. In a few weeks you are going to think it was excessive.
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Nanbu



Joined: 26 Jan 2012

PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 6:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

billyh wrote:
This thread is a shitshow. Lot of children doing this teaching in Korea thing. Anyway, I've been too stressed the past few days to even think about the insanely stupid homophobic remarks in this thread.

I'd like to point out that I never at any point was bringing attention to the fact this guy might be gay. The issue here is that he flipped his shit when he didn't like what was happening. The apartment I have is paid for by the school and he damaged something in there. I am absolutely not going to be responsible for the idiocy of some dude who can't handle his alcohol.

Turns out he was fired for a number of other problems had been happening at the school. So this incident actually seems to be a product of that.

To anyone saying that I should just keep my mouth shut and "be cool" "don't break the drinking rules," horseshit. You sound pretty damn spineless. God forbid someone be weirded out by something. I'm a little upset strangers from the internet think I'm a fun sponge.

To the person mocking the fact that I made this thread. Go take a hike. How insanely stupid and naive of me to post for advice on a messageboard that exists for people to ask other more experienced people for advice. I've been in Korea for 8 months and the workplace etiquette is so far removed from anything I am used to. Wanted to make sure I wasn't being extremely out of line before doing anything drastic. Judging from the reactions to this thread, I think I made the right choice.

To the other person that said I'm not going to be trusted anymore, I wonder why I was asked to go out drinking with co-workers tonight?

Weird situation, I'm glad I could provide you all with some (immature) fun.


As you may well know, the advice you get from "people from the internet" is to be taken selectively and with caution. Glad that things worked out (in a way). Are you going to pay for the sheet or did you report it to the school?
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smiley_gurl



Joined: 26 Jun 2007
Location: West Coast

PostPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 3:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Malislamusrex wrote:
The guy dented your fridge and made a mess of your place and you got him fired. In a few weeks you are going to think it was excessive.


^Agreed.

Also, like someone else said above: 'forgive and be forgiven.' What the supervisor did wasn't normal and you had a right to be pissed. However, have you ever been so drunk that you've puked somewhere, or on someone? Maybe you haven't. Have you ever gotten so emotional that you did something that you later regretted? Maybe you haven't. Have you ever worked at a sh!tty job dealing with jerks that you hated but still continued to work there because you needed the money? Maybe you haven't. What he did was wrong but to the OP, did you at any time feel like you were going to be harmed by him and his near-violence? Would a sincere apology, a new blanket, a new bottle of alcohol, and personally cleaning up his mess have made up for his actions?

South Korea has the highest suicide rate in the OECD- about 37 people kill themself a day. Think about it like this: if tmrw you found out that he killed himself because the subsequent backlash from what he did, would you feel vindicated?
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Died By Bear



Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Location: On the big lake they call Gitche Gumee

PostPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 4:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well at least he didn't accidentally cut himself badly, then proceed to come within inches of death and pass out - only to have the cops make it look like you tried to kill him like a dude on this forum ten years ago eh? Very Happy
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