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FMPJ
Joined: 03 Jun 2008
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 Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 9:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Steelrails wrote: |
| I was under the impression that the OP was a man. |
You're right. |
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NYC_Gal
Joined: 08 Dec 2009
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| Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 9:11 pm Post subject: |
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| FMPJ wrote: |
| Steelrails wrote: |
| I was under the impression that the OP was a man. |
You're right. |
I know it's the culture here, but many Koreans are aware that westerners aren't as touchy feely. Some consideration would be nice. We bend over backwards most of the time to be accepted here. Not being touched by strangers isn't asking for too much.
Man or woman, the Korean man shouldn't have given a grown man a lesson on walking, and definitely shouldn't have grabbed his arm. Tapping one's shoulder is adequate. |
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Dragoon
Joined: 18 Apr 2010
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| Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 11:56 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm really weird about people touching me....really weird. The last time an ajosshi tried to grab me I threatened to knock him out. I'm really crazy about people I don't know touching me...psycho crazy. |
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curiousaboutkorea
Joined: 21 Jan 2009
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| Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 12:28 am Post subject: |
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| I, the OP, am a male. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 4:57 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
I know it's the culture here, but many Koreans are aware that westerners aren't as touchy feely. Some consideration would be nice. We bend over backwards most of the time to be accepted here. Not being touched by strangers isn't asking for too much.
Man or woman, the Korean man shouldn't have given a grown man a lesson on walking, and definitely shouldn't have grabbed his arm. Tapping one's shoulder is adequate. |
Fair point.
However "we" (foreigners) do not as a rule bend over backwards to be accepted here. Some do make the effort (as they should being guests in another country) but many sadly do not.
I still think the OPs experience was not a big deal. But we all have different views on this. The Korean guy did not grab anyone....unless I am mistaken. Using grab warps the discussion as it implies the person was doing something aggressive. The OPs post shows no aggression, just a Korea older man trying to offer advice and help on what he thinks is a problem....
The touch vs no touch thing is a big difference between where I was raised and Korea. No denying this!
We had our first child in Korea and when I took him out for a walk as a toddler he was often touched by ajumas who thought he was cute. He was never ill for it or traumatized. When we visited Korea this past year with our baby daughter, we went to restaurants all the time and people often commented on how cute our baby was and caressed her head and so on....no big deal.
We had one evening at the bulgogi restaurant, the entire family was there and at one point the restaurants owner, an older ajuma, asked if he could hold our daughter. We said yes and off she went to show the baby to her husband and to her kids who worked there as well. Our daughter was laughing her cute little head off...no harm done.
I think we all have different ways of looking at human contact. I for one find the germaphobic rage thats going on in my home country to be sad. People live in fear of everything here: germs, strangers, people....it is truly a sad state of affairs.
So I suppose it swings both ways.... |
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NYC_Gal
Joined: 08 Dec 2009
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| Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 4:02 pm Post subject: |
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| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| Quote: |
I know it's the culture here, but many Koreans are aware that westerners aren't as touchy feely. Some consideration would be nice. We bend over backwards most of the time to be accepted here. Not being touched by strangers isn't asking for too much.
Man or woman, the Korean man shouldn't have given a grown man a lesson on walking, and definitely shouldn't have grabbed his arm. Tapping one's shoulder is adequate. |
Fair point.
However "we" (foreigners) do not as a rule bend over backwards to be accepted here. Some do make the effort (as they should being guests in another country) but many sadly do not.
I still think the OPs experience was not a big deal. But we all have different views on this. The Korean guy did not grab anyone....unless I am mistaken. Using grab warps the discussion as it implies the person was doing something aggressive. The OPs post shows no aggression, just a Korea older man trying to offer advice and help on what he thinks is a problem....
The touch vs no touch thing is a big difference between where I was raised and Korea. No denying this!
We had our first child in Korea and when I took him out for a walk as a toddler he was often touched by ajumas who thought he was cute. He was never ill for it or traumatized. When we visited Korea this past year with our baby daughter, we went to restaurants all the time and people often commented on how cute our baby was and caressed her head and so on....no big deal.
We had one evening at the bulgogi restaurant, the entire family was there and at one point the restaurants owner, an older ajuma, asked if he could hold our daughter. We said yes and off she went to show the baby to her husband and to her kids who worked there as well. Our daughter was laughing her cute little head off...no harm done.
I think we all have different ways of looking at human contact. I for one find the germaphobic rage thats going on in my home country to be sad. People live in fear of everything here: germs, strangers, people....it is truly a sad state of affairs.
So I suppose it swings both ways.... |
Agreed. I'm just against people who think that their skin conditions are "no big deal" touching me.
Most of my friends try fairly hard to be polite in this culture. I suppose it depends on where you are and who you spend your time with. |
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BoholDiver
Joined: 03 Oct 2009
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 4:14 pm Post subject: |
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| Touching your children is another thing too. I don't freak out every time it happens, but I do when the person is a drunken ajosshi or smells like an ashtray. Or someone who looks dirty. |
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NYC_Gal
Joined: 08 Dec 2009
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| Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 4:44 pm Post subject: |
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| I love holding hands with my students and playing games, and even have a few who run to jump into hugs with me (they are elementary, though, so this is okay). That's one thing. When it comes to strangers' kids, I always make sure that it's okay to touch them. |
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balzor
Joined: 14 Feb 2009
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| Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 4:54 pm Post subject: |
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| short of a adjosshi grabbing your junk or trying to massage you, get over it. Most of the people I have met here are really nice. No one is trying to "manhandle" you. Remember that you live in the World's most densely populated city, try to relax a little bit if people touch you or invade your bubble. if you don't like it simply so no thank you or keep walking. This applies to men, women have different rules. |
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NYC_Gal
Joined: 08 Dec 2009
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| Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 5:40 pm Post subject: |
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| balzor wrote: |
| short of a adjosshi grabbing your junk or trying to massage you, get over it. Most of the people I have met here are really nice. No one is trying to "manhandle" you. Remember that you live in the World's most densely populated city, try to relax a little bit if people touch you or invade your bubble. if you don't like it simply so no thank you or keep walking. This applies to men, women have different rules. |
Thanks for understanding how it's different for women. I usually don't mind when an ajuma grabs my arm to speak. I know this is common. I don't like men touching me, though (nor does my fiance!) My gripe is the fact that I see so many people with skin disorders, and would really prefer if they didn't touch if they knowingly had them. Have you ever seen the feet here? Fungus central. That's why so many women paint their toenails. Not all, but many.
To the women:
Always carry slippers or socks and a tube of Lamisil for prevention. Also, skip the nail polish. You'd be surprised what can grow in 2 weeks under the color. This advice has kept my toesies adorable. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 5:37 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
Agreed. I'm just against people who think that their skin conditions are "no big deal" touching me.
Most of my friends try fairly hard to be polite in this culture. I suppose it depends on where you are and who you spend your time with. |
Many of my friends in Korea also try hard...but on the flip side, those that do not try at all are there as well...
It does depend where and who you spend your time with! |
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FMPJ
Joined: 03 Jun 2008
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| Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 3:48 pm Post subject: |
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| NYC_Gal wrote: |
To the women:
Always carry slippers or socks and a tube of Lamisil for prevention. Also, skip the nail polish. You'd be surprised what can grow in 2 weeks under the color. This advice has kept my toesies adorable. |
I'd also recommend carrying the business card of a therapist specializing in hypochondria. |
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detourne_me
Joined: 26 May 2006
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| Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 4:12 pm Post subject: |
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| FMPJ wrote: |
| NYC_Gal wrote: |
To the women:
Always carry slippers or socks and a tube of Lamisil for prevention. Also, skip the nail polish. You'd be surprised what can grow in 2 weeks under the color. This advice has kept my toesies adorable. |
I'd also recommend carrying the business card of a therapist specializing in hypochondria. |
solid jokes. |
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NYC_Gal
Joined: 08 Dec 2009
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| Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 8:22 pm Post subject: |
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| FMPJ wrote: |
| NYC_Gal wrote: |
To the women:
Always carry slippers or socks and a tube of Lamisil for prevention. Also, skip the nail polish. You'd be surprised what can grow in 2 weeks under the color. This advice has kept my toesies adorable. |
I'd also recommend carrying the business card of a therapist specializing in hypochondria. |
My first month here I caught some of the worst athlete's foot ever. I'd gotten it once when I was a kid, but it was NOTHING compared to this. FYI, the same fungus that causes AF causes toenail fungus, if it gets to the nail bed.
This isn't hypochondria. It's just advice. I don't go around in a bubble suit. I take simple precautions. Carrying socks in a purse? Wow that must be SO difficult! I was told this by a few friends when I first got here, and am just passing it along. I go to jimjilbangs and walk barefoot. I also see the nastiness that is other people's feet. As soon as I get to the locker area, I put on some Lamisil and socks and I'm good to go. |
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dumpring
Joined: 06 Apr 2010
Location: Auckland, NZ
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| Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 8:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Damn if you think it's weird here, try China. The nightclub bathrooms have those fellas who stand there with towels to dry your hands, but they also come up and start rubbing your shoulders when you're taking a piss. Freaked the hell out've me when that happened. |
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