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Jizzo T. Clown

Joined: 27 Mar 2006 Location: at my wit's end
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 4:39 am Post subject: Heard any good jokes lately? |
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You may have heard this one, but I like it:
A married guy and his buddy were out at a bar. The married guy had too much to drink and ended up puking on his own shirt. "I gotta get back to my wife," he said. His buddy slipped a $20 bill into his shirt pocket and said "This way when your wife asks what happened, you can tell her a guy puked on your shirt and offered you $20 to pay for the dry cleaning." The guy was satisfied and the two continued drinking until the wee hours.
Eventually the guy had to go back home to his wife, who was waiting angrily at the door. "What the hell happened to your shirt?" she asked. They guy said "Oh, some guy puked on my shirt and gave me $20 to pay for the dry cleaning." His wife then said "But there's $40 here." "Oh yeah," her husband said: "He shat my pants too."
Any good jokes to share? |
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Young FRANKenstein

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Location: Castle Frankenstein (that's FRONKensteen)
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 5:49 am Post subject: Re: Heard any good jokes lately? |
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Jizzo T. Clown wrote: |
Any good jokes to share? |
No, but how about some good punchlines?
He stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
He gave me a 10 inch pianist.
Beer doesn't care if you take off its top.
Thus we'll sadly never know for whom the Tells bowled.
I don't know your name, but your face rings a bell.
Well, that was a fight for Thor eyes.
He said you're going to die. |
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freshking
Joined: 07 Dec 2006
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 5:54 am Post subject: |
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Q:What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
A:Neil Armstrong walked on the moon...
and Michael Jackson has sex with children. |
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rumdiary

Joined: 05 Jun 2006
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 8:19 am Post subject: |
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What did 0 say to 8?
Nice belt |
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bejarano-korea

Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 9:04 am Post subject: |
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This giraffe walks into a pub and says to the barman
'Have you seen my dad?'
And the barman goes..
'What does he look like?' |
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artyom
Joined: 28 Jul 2007
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 12:17 pm Post subject: |
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Q: what are the similarities between a woman and a hurricane?
A: when they come they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house |
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The Bobster

Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 12:59 pm Post subject: |
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artyom wrote: |
when they come they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house |
Of course, there is nothing misogynist about this joke,but I' m guessing there are some who will come around and say it's all about hating women ... |
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RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 5:42 pm Post subject: |
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What does a chav use for protection during sex?
A bus shelter. |
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RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 5:44 pm Post subject: |
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Gotta add this one:
A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend, "you won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything."
His friend replies, "That's great! Did you get a blow job?"
"No, I never found her head." |
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Bondrock

Joined: 08 Oct 2006 Location: ^_^
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 6:19 pm Post subject: |
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RaceT: that's so sick... but funny
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A woman tells her redneck husband she wants to get silicone breast implants.
Husband: Why do you want to stuff sillycone in yur breastses?
Wife: I want y'all to give me more attention.
Husband: "If youse want more attention furget sillycone; fill em with beer." |
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Riddzy
Joined: 06 Sep 2004 Location: London
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 7:15 pm Post subject: |
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Two vomits are walking down the street.
They turn into an alley way and one vomit starts crying.
"What's the matter?" Says his friend.
"I'm sorry," sniffs the vomit, "it's just that this is where I was brought up." |
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Dugsby
Joined: 24 May 2003 Location: Ulsan
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 7:51 pm Post subject: |
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One I tell my students:
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9. |
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Rapacious Mr. Batstove

Joined: 26 Jan 2007 Location: Central Areola
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 7:54 pm Post subject: |
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What do KFC and women have in common?
When you are done with the breasts and thighs, you're left with a greasy box to put your bone in.
What has 80 balls and fucks grandma?
Bingo |
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Lockness
Joined: 03 Sep 2007
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 7:58 pm Post subject: |
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Knock knock
who's there?
The interupting cow
The interupti..
MOO |
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RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 8:16 pm Post subject: |
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"Won't you kiss me, Doctor?" asks a beautiful woman.
"No, it would be against my code of ethics," says the doctor.
"Please just one kiss," begs the woman.
"It's completely out of the question," he goes on. "I shouldn't even really be having sex with you." |
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