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uberscheisse
Joined: 02 Dec 2003
Location: japan is better than korea.
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 Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 7:04 am Post subject: "you need to________" |
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when did this phrase come into popular usage?
i mean - not "you need to put a band-aid on that" but as a forceful yet passive substitute to "i want you to do this" or "do this now"? it implies a threat - i.e. "you need to do this because i know you're not going to like what i do if you don't."
i am watching an episode of "heroes" right now and one character is politely admonishing her husband to be a better father. in a 2 minute dialogue, she says "you need to _________" no less than 5 times.
i have only really noticed people using "you need to_________" as a way of giving orders in the past couple of years. one of my best friends is a drug and alcohol counsellor and one of the more alpha male dudes i know. he says it hundreds of times a day.
it seems like a jedi mind trick, and i'm beginning to think that its usage is almost rude. a passive aggressive way of simply barking out orders.
i find myself using it with my students but usually they actually need to do the things i am suggesting. |
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Optimus Prime
Joined: 05 Jul 2007
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| Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 9:42 am Post subject: |
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| you need to get a hobby... |
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Bibbitybop
Joined: 22 Feb 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 10:15 am Post subject: |
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| You need to shower. |
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uberscheisse
Joined: 02 Dec 2003
Location: japan is better than korea.
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| Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 3:30 pm Post subject: |
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| thanks for the well thought out replies, folks. once again dave's esl cafe fucking delivers. |
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Bibbitybop
Joined: 22 Feb 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 4:18 pm Post subject: |
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| Sorry. I need to shower. |
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Pak Yu Man
Joined: 02 Jun 2005
Location: The Ida galaxy
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| Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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| You need to STFU. That's the only time I'd use that. |
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Rapacious Mr. Batstove
Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Location: Central Areola
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| Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 4:21 pm Post subject: |
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Maybe it's a North American thing, possibly along the same lines as
"I'LL tell YOU what, _________", which I hear many Canadians and Americans use when presenting an argument.
North Americans I believe are the masters at aggressive/persuasive semantics. |
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uberscheisse
Joined: 02 Dec 2003
Location: japan is better than korea.
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| Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 4:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Rapacious Mr. Batstove wrote: |
Maybe it's a North American thing, possibly along the same lines as
"I'LL tell YOU what, _________", which I hear many Canadians and Americans use when presenting an argument.
North Americans I believe are the masters at aggressive/persuasive semantics. |
i have also noticed another one - used by this douche i used to teach with
- he always prefaced things with "yeah... that said..." and whatever he said next showed you that he either thought what you said was stupid or he just didn't listen to what you said at all.
it was like "i don't respect a thing anyone else says, but i'm too chicken to just come out and say that i'm a piece of shit". |
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VanIslander
Joined: 18 Aug 2003
Location: Geoje, Hadong, Tongyeong,... now in a small coastal island town outside Gyeongsangnamdo!
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| Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 4:36 pm Post subject: |
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| when I was back home I noticed that doctors and nurses use it a lot |
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Rapacious Mr. Batstove
Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Location: Central Areola
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| Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 4:45 pm Post subject: |
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| uberscheisse wrote: |
| Rapacious Mr. Batstove wrote: |
Maybe it's a North American thing, possibly along the same lines as
"I'LL tell YOU what, _________", which I hear many Canadians and Americans use when presenting an argument.
North Americans I believe are the masters at aggressive/persuasive semantics. |
i have also noticed another one - used by this douche i used to teach with
- he always prefaced things with "yeah... that said..." and whatever he said next showed you that he either thought what you said was stupid or he just didn't listen to what you said at all.
it was like "i don't respect a thing anyone else says, but i'm too chicken to just come out and say that i'm a piece of *beep*". |
That would drive me insane and invoke deep hatred and bouts of narcissistic rage on the perpetrator.
I'm going to have a stab and say he was American. I often find when talking to Americans that conversations are very one-way. Many don't tend to enjoy a balance of listening and speaking. Many receive your side with "sure, yeah.......sure....OK....sure" then continue building from their input only. Often it's just a witnessed monologue rather than a conversation. For this reason, I often tend to step back and enjoy my beer when I hear accent beside me. That said though  I have some fantastic American friends. |
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uberscheisse
Joined: 02 Dec 2003
Location: japan is better than korea.
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| Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 4:48 pm Post subject: |
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| Rapacious Mr. Batstove wrote: |
| uberscheisse wrote: |
| Rapacious Mr. Batstove wrote: |
Maybe it's a North American thing, possibly along the same lines as
"I'LL tell YOU what, _________", which I hear many Canadians and Americans use when presenting an argument.
North Americans I believe are the masters at aggressive/persuasive semantics. |
i have also noticed another one - used by this douche i used to teach with
- he always prefaced things with "yeah... that said..." and whatever he said next showed you that he either thought what you said was stupid or he just didn't listen to what you said at all.
it was like "i don't respect a thing anyone else says, but i'm too chicken to just come out and say that i'm a piece of *beep*". |
That would drive me insane and invoke deep hatred and bouts of narcissistic rage on the perpetrator.
I'm going to have a stab and say he was American. I often find when talking to Americans that conversations are very one-way. Many don't tend to enjoy a balance of listening and speaking. Many receive your side with "sure, yeah.......sure....OK....sure" then continue building from their input only. Often it's just a witnessed monologue rather than a conversation. For this reason, I often tend to step back and enjoy my beer when I hear accent beside me. That said though I have some fantastic American friends. |
actually he was canadian.
i don't see how people can get into a conversation and not give and take. even when it comes to things such as personal taste in music, art, whatever... it seems these days that people don't want to do much but focus on their take on the world. |
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kermo
Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.
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| Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 5:30 pm Post subject: |
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| I have a weird feeling it came into use via the educational system-- teachers were told to use it or something. It's just a hunch though. |
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SHANE02
Joined: 04 Jun 2003
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| Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 5:43 pm Post subject: Re: "you need to________" |
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| uberscheisse wrote: |
when did this phrase come into popular usage?
i mean - not "you need to put a band-aid on that" but as a forceful yet passive substitute to "i want you to do this" or "do this now"? it implies a threat - i.e. "you need to do this because i know you're not going to like what i do if you don't."
i am watching an episode of "heroes" right now and one character is politely admonishing her husband to be a better father. in a 2 minute dialogue, she says "you need to _________" no less than 5 times.
i have only really noticed people using "you need to_________" as a way of giving orders in the past couple of years. one of my best friends is a drug and alcohol counsellor and one of the more alpha male dudes i know. he says it hundreds of times a day.
it seems like a jedi mind trick, and i'm beginning to think that its usage is almost rude. a passive aggressive way of simply barking out orders.
i find myself using it with my students but usually they actually need to do the things i am suggesting. |
Yeah I hate the "You need to" line. I had a guy that used it on me (or tried to) many times untill I told him that I didn't "need to" do a fucking thing, and that it was rude to expect me to do it..
I also find "anyhoo" totally dismissive and gay. |
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uberscheisse
Joined: 02 Dec 2003
Location: japan is better than korea.
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| Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 5:43 pm Post subject: |
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| kermo wrote: |
| I have a weird feeling it came into use via the educational system-- teachers were told to use it or something. It's just a hunch though. |
i have a feeling you're right, but that it was one of those things that was brought about at some seminar, where some higher-up read a book like "how to make friends and influence dummies" or some other anthony robbins claptrap and decided to pass on his/her newfound knowledge.
i also find the people who use this crap most are the ones who have that annoying air of authority but when you get to know them there's serious self-esteem issues lurking underneath.
i also have a feeling that it's going to be an anachronism someday, like how 1940s movie mushmouth is today. |
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JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
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| Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 5:52 pm Post subject: |
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You NEED TO get right with the Holy Mother.
That said, I once launched a thread about my contempt for 'That said' and Other Daveisms.
Why don't I provide a link? Where is that thread?
Well, quite simply, it *isn't* anymore. Like an opponent of the Galtieri junta, and like every other pre-June 2005 thread on Off-topic Forum, it done got "disappeared". Taken out back and a cap popped in its ass. And like all those who get "disappeared" by tyrannical military regimes, the next of kin were never informed of its fate. |
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