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Little Deaths
From Harper's July 2007

By Felix Feneon, from Novels in Three Lines, to be published in English for the first time in August by New York Review Books. In 1906, Feneon, who was born in 1861, wrote 1,200 brief items under the rubric News in Three Lines for the Paris daily newspaper Le Martin, which were collected after his death in 1944.


"If my candidate loses, I shall kill myself,"
M. Bellanovine of Fresquienne, Seine-Inferieure,
had declared. He killed himself.


Scheid, of Dunkirk, fired three times at his wife.
Since he missed every shot,
he decided to aim at his mother in law, and connected.


Louis Lamarre had neither job nor home, but he
did possess a few coins. At a grocery in Saint-Denis,
he bought a liter of gasoline and drank it.


Since Delorce left her, Cecile Ward had refused
to take him back unless he married her. Finding
this stipulation unacceptable, he stabbed her.


In the vicinity of Noisy-sur-Ecole, M. Louis
Devlillieau, seventy, dropped dead of sunstroke.
Quickly, his dog Fido ate his head.


"I could have done worse!" exultantly cried the
murderer Lebret, sentenced at Rouen to hard
labor for life.


In Le Harve, a sailor, Scouarnec, threw himself
under a locomotive. His intestines were gathered
up in a cloth.


At the station in Macon, Mouroux had his legs
severed by an engine. "Look at my feet on the
tracks!" he cried, then fainted.


Among the Arabs of Douaouda, a couple captured
an oversealius suitor and mutilated him,
permanetly cancelling his virility.


What? Children perched on the wall? With eight
rounds, M. Olive, property owner in Toulon,
forced them to scramble down all bloodied.


In Marseille, Sosio Merello, a Neapolitan,
killed his wife. She did not wish to market
her endowments.

At eighty, Mme Saout, of labaezellec, Finistere,
was beginning to fear that death had forgotten her.
While her daighter was out, she hanged herself.


Le Verbeau hit Marie Champion right on her
breasts, but he burned his eye, because acid
is not a precision weapon.


Medical examination of a little boy found in a
ditch on the outskirts of Niort showed that he
had undergone more than just death.


At the Trianon Palace, a vsitor disrobed and
climbed into the imperial bed. It is disputed
wheter he is, as he claims, Napoleon IV.


The schoolchildren of Nirot were being
crowned. The chendelier fell, and the laurels of
three among them were spotted with blood.


Standing on her doorstep, Modeisted Rudlot, of Malakoff,
was chatting with a neighbor. With
an iron bar, her wild husband made her shut up.


Three is the age of Odette Hautory, of Roissy.
Nevertheless, L. Marc, who is thrity, did not
consider her too young.


There is no longer a God even for drunkards.
Kersilie, of Saint Germain, who had mistaken
the window for the door, is dead.


Four times in one week servant Marie Choland
set her employer's farm on fire. Now she can
burn down Montlucon prison.


A poor box dedicated to St. Anthony of Padua
was smashed in the church of St. Germain.
The saint is on the trail of the theif.


In Oyonnax, Mlle. Cottet, eighteen, threw
acid in the face of M/ Besnard, twenty-five.
Love, obviously.