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quitting 10 months in...
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philinkorea



Joined: 27 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Sun Sep 14, 2003 4:39 am    Post subject: quitting 10 months in... Reply with quote

its really wierd i've been in korea 10 months and also spent 12 months before in oz. in the last few weeks i've started to get depressed and anxious without realising why. suddenly i've started to feel a quite incredible homesickness. its like it all came up today and i was phoning my parents non stop who i would nomally only call every few weeks despite it was only eary morning in england. i got so anxious i felt i was going to have an anxiety attack. it really frightened me like i really wanted to just go to hospital.
i've wrote a few posts about being isolated where i live but i think thats not all its just that i miss home so badly. i feel like i cant take it anymore. with months left i'm feeling its just 2 long and i may well quit this week. i just want the end to be closer in sight and i feel things are just oing to get worse. nothing is inspiring me, my health is going downhill and i just want to be home.
i feel like i must be crazy, its just the most powerful strangest thing i've ever experienced. just wanted anyones comments
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schwa



Joined: 18 Jan 2003
Location: Yap

PostPosted: Sun Sep 14, 2003 4:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hang tough. You made it this far.
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captain kirk



Joined: 29 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Sun Sep 14, 2003 5:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

it is the three weeks of cloudy/rainy weather. today the sky was high and i blasted up to suwon and back on my kawasaki 500. hola! do something drastic to shake the vortex, like renting the movie 'twister'. better yet, a bike!
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canuckistan
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Joined: 17 Jun 2003
Location: Training future GS competitors.....

PostPosted: Sun Sep 14, 2003 6:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

2 months is 8 little weekends left and then you're FREEEEE!

Maybe spoil yourself? Digital camera, mp3 player...

Get lots of phone cards and call home every night.

Eat 3 meals a day.

Quitting early is not a big deal.
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katydid



Joined: 02 Feb 2003
Location: Here kitty kitty kitty...

PostPosted: Sun Sep 14, 2003 6:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe you're thinking too much about what you will do when you get home, or what you will do after the contract is finished. My advice to you: Stop it. Smile You've been here 10 months and the last two should fly right by, especially if you do things that interest you and don't sweat the small stuff.
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posco's trumpet



Joined: 20 Apr 2003
Location: Beneath the Underdog

PostPosted: Sun Sep 14, 2003 6:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



Last edited by posco's trumpet on Sat Dec 06, 2003 6:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Skarp



Joined: 22 Aug 2003

PostPosted: Sun Sep 14, 2003 6:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If there is nothing really wrong or making your life unpleasant - stick it out.

Also, don't worry about feeling vulnerable or depressed or whatever - everybody does sometimes. It will pass and I bet if you ran home then after the first few days you'd be wishing you hadn't.


Spend some money - have more fun. Make plans for a holiday or some other treat. Have some weekends away......


If you've been working 10 months you should have some serious money saved....spend some of it.

It can't buy happiness and all that - but it sounds to me like you're just bored and money can buy fun....


Skarp
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kiwioutofthenest



Joined: 29 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Sun Sep 14, 2003 4:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

yeah harden up...don't let your self entertain homesickness....i once did the hardest job of my life...working as a waitress on a cruise ship 12-14 hours a day 7 days a week non stop for 5 months I swear i thought it was going to kill me but i kept in mind these Baasstards are not gonna drag me down I WILL NOT QUIT
i spent most of my pathetic free time aimlessly wandering the bowels of the ship listening to Korn Freak on a leash and other equally anti social tunes RATM Killing in the name of etc.....When i finaly finished my contract i walked down the gangway with the biggest smile ..i kissed the ground of South Hampton and thought to myself if i lasted that i can do anything! at the risk of sounding pathetically cliche if it don't kill ya it makes ya stronger. When your finally home that pint of bitter will never taste so sweet!

chew some valerian root, have a couple of the ginseng drinks..not the sugary ones, the ones you get from the pharmacy that are served warm (better for boys than girls) eat a load of that dry seaweed and you will feel as right as rain!

smile in 2 months yourv'e made it......
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shaun k



Joined: 23 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Sun Sep 14, 2003 5:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

the count down idea is a good one...you can simply dedicate the rest of your time here to plotting your next move, even if that is going back home. you can plan a big party with all your friends at a favorite restaurant back home. send out invitations. anything to fill you time here with the future you crave so much.

when im ready to finish something, i treat it like one of my distance runs....one mile at a time. and if a mile is too much that day because im tired, i pick a street sign or a hill or something, and say, "just to the sign" and then when i get there i pick another short goal.

the truth is if you leave now you will lose your bonus money, something that can pay for a considerable reward for yourself.

i would count the mondays...."how many mondays do i have left", then tick them off like each one is a life achievement (which it is, undert the circumstances)...

and always keep in mind that you can leave anytime you want to, and that if you stay, it is your choice. that way you dont feel stuck.
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Corvid



Joined: 21 Apr 2003
Location: Suwon

PostPosted: Sun Sep 14, 2003 7:04 pm    Post subject: Re: quitting 10 months in... Reply with quote

phil_walker80 wrote:
i got so anxious i felt i was going to have an anxiety attack. it really frightened me like i really wanted to just go to hospital. ...i feel like i must be crazy, its just the most powerful strangest thing i've ever experienced. just wanted anyones comments
Don't want to alarm you, but that is a panic attack. I've had them before too. Advice? Your body is telling you to make changes, not that I think you need to fly home right away. If you find that your heart is racing, you should get out and start walking, not a little stroll, the big stride, swingling arms kind of walk. Eat very well. In a mere eight weeks you're going to get severence. That'll pay for a lot of kimchi. Personally, I hate going to doctors and getting prescriptions, so I never did. I hate the thought of "suffers from panic attacks" being in my medical records. Once though, I tried to quit smoking, and the nurse told me that wellbutrin, an antidepressant, helps with that, so I took it for about 8 weeks. It was wierd, like being on drugs or something Wink, but it was very much a mood leveler. Anyway, don't be alarmed. (No joke intended) You aren't "going crazy." You said that your health has been going downhill, and it has far more to do with that than anything mental you're going through. It's that your body is in a paniced state, and your mind attatches memes to that state like "I'm homesick and have to leave this country." I would also advise that you think about the future. In a few years do you want to look back and think, I started having problems in Korea, and had to quit and fly home, or I was having problems, and I stuck it out to the end of my contract and made some important changes to my lifestyle. Good luck, and feel free to pm me if you want.
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Guest





PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2003 7:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hang in there man. anxiety attacks are more common than people may think. the most important thing i feel, is that its your state of mind and not home which is the answer to solving this. the reality of the place you're missing when you actually get there...is wow i missed this so much and here i am..not such a big deal.
i know about anxiety....was triggered the first time by anti-malaria tablets i took....drove me dilly, i was in zimbabwe, and i seriously lost the plot. most important thing is to breathe deeply and not try to resist anything..and know that anxiety attacks manifest differently...do a search on them...it took nearly 6 months of strange symptonms, before finding out i was having anxiety attacks...i don't get them anymore, but its also because i'm more aware of what it is.
best luck to you..
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captain kirk



Joined: 29 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Thu Sep 18, 2003 8:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

DeNiro, in the movie 'The Deer Hunter', at one point says, "this isn't that! this is THIS". It's about half-way through when they are about to leave the car to hunt deer. He's talking to a guy who always forgets equipment; boots, jacket, bullets, and who wants to borrow some extra boots from the character DeNiro plays. No, says 'DeNiro', he has got to learn to focus and keep his sh*t together.
Anything that gets your mind completely off nit-picking, and focused on the moment. Eat the peach!
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justaskdan



Joined: 28 Apr 2003
Location: Me in Pohang - Oct 20th

PostPosted: Thu Sep 18, 2003 1:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is all real good advise. My kiwi coworker did the same thing and although he is probably sitting at home unemployed reading this, I thought what a *beep*. He started acting funny and coming in late or 5minutes before class started. Then a week later he quits with two months left.

The trick is to spoil yourself, like above posts, buy something cool. Eat out lots, most of us do that anyways. Keep busy. Great idea with the count down. I do it, even though I am staying, it's nice to know when you get the winfall and a trip home for a visit. You can buy a cool week planner for 1500 won at EMART. Lastly, get your self a hooker. If you have gone ten months without sex, that's your real problem.
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Homer
Guest




PostPosted: Fri Sep 19, 2003 3:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Come on Phil,

Only 2 months left buddy.
Think about that, you completed 10 months out of 12.
A few more weeks and you are done.
You could also think about the fact that quiting will mean the loss of 2 months pay, the cost of your airplaine ticket home and the loss of your end of contract bonus.
That can add up to a nice chunk of change mate.
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Tiger Beer



Joined: 07 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2003 11:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It'll pass.. now its already 1 month and 3 weeks to go.. how do you feel now?

It would be pointless to quit if you have a school where you have to give a one-month notice anyways..
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