Korean Job Discussion Forums

[newteacher]

In my short time here I've already had three kids cry over nothing in my classes. These are my 3rd and 4th grade students. The first one to cry began bawling merely because he was put in the class. The second one began to cry because I asked her to move to a different seat. She'd been talking constantly to the girl next to her. I had no other choice but to split them up and as soon as I did she starts crying, and this was in my class of 5th and 6th graders. Then yesterday I had a kid begin to cry because I took his test away from him at the same time as the rest of the class. We have a strict policy of only giving five minutes for our vocab tests. This kid spent the first three starring at the wall. Then of course when the five minutes were up he had about ten questions he hadn't had time to answer. He knows I can't give him more time than the rest of the class, but as soon as I took it away he still started crying.

When I was in middle school kids crying in class happened very rarely if ever. For one thing if any of us cried we'd be labeled a crybaby for the rest of the year and would hear about it every day from our classmates, and for another thing I just don't remember being that fragile or attention starved as a kid that I would actually have cried in class.

So is this just a Korean thing? Are they that much in need of attention that they cry over the littlest of things? It just doesn't seem normal to me.

[Major Kong]

We all cry in the same language. We all all smile in the same language.

[newteacher]

[Major Kong]

The older I get the more I realize how people are taught at a young age to not show their innermost self. There is no shame or lack of strength when a child or adult cries. We all do it throughout our lives at times.

[newteacher]

[Return Jones]

After almost 7 years teaching kids in Korea, I would agree that the kids here do indeed cry a little more easily than kids the same age back home. When I first started I had some of the problems you mentioned. Social and emotional maturity comes a bit later in Korean society. This is good or bad, depending on what benchmarks you consider. Just be sensitive of the matter and adjust your teaching.

If one kid just wasted his time on the test, then collect the rest and return to him 15 seconds later. Then, start a countdown from 10..9..8..7..6 and keep a smile on your face while you're doing it. You gave him a bit of extra time, but so what? It will probably avoid the wussy factor coming out. Kids are coddled a bit more here and selfish whiney behaviour is more tolerated. They're just acting in their normal fashion with you. Be friendly but firm. Tough love treatment doesn't seem to come into their lives until at least middle school age, if ever! At the same time, however, they are also passively pushed to the limits by going through the motions of attending 4-5 different academies every day after school. A weird combo of forces shape their lives.

Just roll with it. Things are a bit different here!

[MarionG]

I think there are several reasons why Korean children cry more than American children.

1) There isn't the social stigma to it that there is there (don't be a crybaby, be a man, etc)
2) Korean children are chronically in a state of not enough sleep, and general bodily fatigue-this definitely lowers the resistance to showing all kinds of emotions. I'm 62, and I NEVER cry, unless I'm exhausted or sleep deprived.

To assume something negative about the kids because they're crying more than that to which you're accusetomed, is simply and expression of your cultural bias.

[Scotticus]

[Major Kong]

Newteacher, Now I understand what you are saying. I agree 100%. Teach them to be strong and brave, obviously you care about them.

[newteacher]

[ESL Milk "Everyday]

I think in the early grades like 3-5 it's not so uncommon... I can remember kids that young crying in my class when I went to elementary school. Grade six things were a bit tougher, I think... and after that, there wasn't so much crying going on at all.

[Boodleheimer]

i just think they're manipulative.

[Alan Partidge]

I agree with the comment about sleep deprivation. Some poor little buggers are dragged out with their parents to bars etc.

I think a lot (not all obviously) of Koreans of all ages are emotional basket cases with low EQs. I especially dislike the pouty princess types and the mummy's boys that act like spoilt little f**kers into adulthood.

[GoldMember]

It's all about being a "victim", he who is a victim in Korea is the winner.
Classic example. Pedestrian is knocked down by car that runs red light.
Logic dictates the victim is the pedestrian, the evil person is the law breaking driver.
If the pedestrian lies on the road, moaning and groaning, then yes the driver is evil.
If the pedestrian all bloodied and mangled manages to get up and hurl abuse at the driver, public support dramatically changes. Now the injured pedestrian is evil, and the law breaking driver is the innocent victim. Go figure this is Korea.

The kids are just learning from example to be the victim.
Consider the Hanwha Chairman case, he beats up people, but oh no, HE is the victim, because he's a loving father. Pathetic.

[Yu_Bum_suk]

The fatigue is probably part of it. There's a huge difference in the mentality between primary and secondary students here, too. Once in a blue moon I'll have a student crying about something in my class (I teach middle & high school). I can count on one hand how many times I've made a middle school student cry, and I've never made a high school student cry in almost 2 1/2 years. Korean teenagers whine a lot but I think for the most part they're quite tough when it comes down to it. The little kids, however, are for the most part just not taught any self-control or self-respect, period.