Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Boodleheimer]

i know the assumption is that women want kids, but do we really?

[Faunaki]

Actually my husband's pressuring me to have kids. I want to wait a couple of years. He's in a bali bali mood. Married, then kids immediately. I guess it's the Korean way.

But I am a little afraid of not being able to because a lot of my friends tried for like two years before they could so I figure I should get on it.

Figures. For years I tried NOT to get pregnant....

[kermo]

I don't mind the idea. I am not keen to give up all the freedom I have now, but I genuinely like kids and I'm very curious about them. I just don't feel *compelled* to have them.

[Atavistic]

No.

[princess]

If I have kids someday, I would prefer being married to a Korean, having an F4 visa and not having to teach kids as a job. I don't see how some people teach, PLUS have their own kids to deal with before and after work. That would age a person beyond belief, I would think. I'd probably only have just one kid, too, because things are TOO expensive to have many kids. I like spending money on myself and having fun.

[Control Z]

I'm not really interested in having kids. I've basically felt this way since I was a teenager. I was always told, "Wait until you're 30. You'll change your mind." Thirty came and went and my feelings hadn't changed. Then I heard, "Wait until you're 35. Your biological clock will be in overdrive." Well, I'm 35 now and still don't feel much of an urge. This stance might be considered odd due to the fact that I come from a very tight-knit family and I'm very close with all the children in it. I think most people expect this attitude from someone who had a terrible childhood or those who come from "broken homes."

It's getting rather difficult, and irritating, with coworkers and everyone you meet pressuring you to have a baby or doing a 180 in demeanor when they find out your age and that you don't have kids. The questioning and pressure tactics can sometimes be downright hostile! My husband's parents are wonderful and they've never even asked us about it. This is rather amazing because they are farmers out in the country (old school types) and he's the only son.

Essentially, the mentality here is that women are baby factories and it's a woman's duty to produce children, preferably sons. Globally, I think women who choose not to have children are demonized.

Sorry for the rant.

[Big_Bird]

When I fell pregnant with my first child I was mortified. My husband was delighted and then dejected when he saw how miserable I was about it. I'd accepted that kids would be part of the deal as my husband really dreamed of a little family, but I'd thought I'd get a few years grace before we tried for our family. However, we had a 'contraceptive malfunction' and bang, I was knocked up. Within a month of being married in fact.

I've never felt any pressure from my family to spawn. And I'd never really known if I wanted kids or not. If fate made me a mother, fine, if it didn't fine - was my attitude. Life would be good either way. And somehow I'd never really expected to have them. I think if my life had taken another course, I'd have been quite happy to be old and childless - afterall, you can do a lot more when you're childless. But I'm not. And I have two little chicks. And they're bloody lovely little buggers. There's pros and cons, either way. I'll just concentrate on the pros and try not to begrudge the sacrifices!

[Big_Bird]

[curlygirl]

I've never had even the slightest desire to have children. My 36th birthday is history and I still have no maternal stirrings (despite all my friends assuring me that it will happen). I'm just too content being baby free and see no unfulfilled yearnings that a baby would resolve. I'm having a hard time believing these poll results though (the Nos are currently on 41%). Out of all my high school pals, varsity buddies, and other gal pals I can count the number of childless women on one hand - and I don't even have to use all my fingers. Perhaps it's only the women on this forum who don't want kids who are bothering to respond?

[Flash Ipanema]

I assume I'll want kids eventually, but at this point I've got no maternal pangs whatsoever. Probably because I don't have a boyfriend. I just figure that I'll want kids when I meet the right guy.

I'm almost 27 and have no pressure from my family at all. In fact, the only pressure is coming from myself, because I always wanted my kids to be close in age to my sister's so they could be friends, and my sister just had her first baby in September. But I'm totally selfish about my time and freedom and have no interest in giving that up any time soon.

[Draz]

[thiophene]

for very selfish reasons yes I want kids. They're cute. I think i'd enjoy very much teaching them good manners, taking them to soccer practice or piano lessons or whatever they want. iI would very much enjoy teaching them about life and being there to help them go through bad moments. I would very much enjoy introducing them to what wonderful things life has to offer. Although, all these reasons seem to be more about me than them so I dont' think I should. There's also a tiny tiny tiny part of me that wants to have kids somewhat fast for my dad. he's not gonna be here much longer and I know he'd love to have grandkids. I'd never do it for this reason, but I do feel the pressure to try to get him to see grandkids. I sometimes think, hey i'ts almost inevitable that i'll have kids, why not just do it. Then ther days I just wish my older brother would get a kid already!!!

[anae]

I have two little ones and I am in my early 30s. I always knew that I wanted to have kids, but I wanted to have a good chunk of kid-free life and to have a stable and secure marriage first. In my 20s I travelled and lived abroad. My husband and I enjoyed 5 years together on our own. In our 30s we were ready to have kids in our lives. It initially took a lot longer to get pregnant than I thought, but after 18 months my hormones finally got themselves sorted out after years on the pill and we had daughter number one. We enjoyed her so much we added another one two years and a few days later. I enjoy motherhood and wouldn't have it any other way in the end.

To those on the fence, my advice is to not rush into anything. It is a big sacrifice and not for the faint of heart. I had to give up sleep. I last slept fitfully sometime in early 2004.

[yingwenlaoshi]

Having kids is a big responsiblity.

[twg]

Just think of them giant heads forcing their way out, leaving you as loose and floppy as an old sock on laundry day...