Korean Job Discussion Forums

[ESL Girl]

In one of my classes, my students were learning gestures from around the world (and their meanings). Anyway, the topic of gesturing "come here" got me thinking, and my co-teachers recently began to ask me about it - about how we gesture "come here" in the US. I wanted to say that it is rude to gesture to come here - but then again, if we are at a store with a friend, we will say "come and look at this" and gesture for him or her to come over. *Difference here, it is not a silent command and is asking.

I am constantly gestured to "come here;" I would much prefer to be asked "Could you come here for a second?" or "Would come and take a look at this?" or "Would you come with me?" When it is time to leave, my coteachers gives me the silent gesture to come (with the Korean gesture to come). When they want me to go to lunch, they give me no words - but a gesture to come here. Am I overreacting? It feels as though I am being commanded.

Basically, could someone second me on that the silent "come here" is rude? Is it just an American thing? Or just me?!

[HapKi]

I think it's just a cultural thing.

Also, remember and don't forget-
palm down= "come here, human."
palm up= "come here, doggy."

[Leslie Cheswyck]

^ I understand dogs are offended when you bid them come with palm down. It's very rude.

[denverdeath]

They're actually saying "Come here" and not "Come on?" Strange. Or, did you say they're saying nothing? Anyway, as others have said, pointing directly and/or with palm up is considered rude. At least in my part of Canada, waving sb over, even in a workplace, is acceptable.

[ESL Girl]

First of all - I understand the Korean way v. Am. way of the come here gesture.

Second - it bothers me b/c it's as if she is commanding me to come. If one were to gesture you to come - w/o saying anything (except your name to get your attention), wouldn't you feel a little put off?

I am sure my one of my coteachers will ask me again about the Amer. come here gesture. So at that time, I want to nip this in the bud and say that you must ask when you use that gesture (in a formal setting like work). If they were my intimate friend - which they are not - then maybe it would be different. But, even if my boyfriend were to gesture for me come w/o asking, I would ask what he wanted b4 I would get off my @$$. Not that I'm lazy, but just that I don't like to feel like I am being bossed around.
If this is an acceptable Korean thing, I will tolerate it. However, I am not only here to teach my students English, but also about the ways/life in the English speaking world.

[denverdeath]

What about if someone said to you, "Hey, ESL Girl! C'mon over here. I've got something I need to ask you" in a nice, friendly, equal-work-status or higher-than-thou position?

[Ilsanman]

Just pretend you don't understand. If she wonders why, ask her to actually speak words to you.

[Bailsibub]

I don't really have anything to add to the topic. But obviously Leslie has good taste in music.

[GerryTulip]

[Privateer]

[jeffkim1972]

Yes, what they are doing is rude.

Just ignore them or say while laughing, "What's this <mimicking the hand motion>". But obviously its' too late, they found something that works with you.

[The_Eyeball_Kid]

[Justin Hale]

[bijjy]

Part of the reason why your co-teachers are relying more on the visual, rather than verbal expression, could be related to nunchi.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nunchi

In Korean culture, a man stands next to his wife and by his body placement, she knows to move over so he can access the garbage can. In American culture, the man says "Hey, can you move for a sec?" If the American man just stood silently next to his wife, she would be puzzled. If the Korean man verbally asked his wife to move, she would find it redundant and even a little condescending.

[Privateer]

You can always respond with a simple hand gesture of your own.