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Gopher
Joined: 04 Jun 2005
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 Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:29 pm Post subject: The Dog and Cat Diaries... |
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Recd this by email today. Very funny. Dedicated to Big_Bird and the rest of the animal-rights posters here...
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DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! |
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CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. |
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SeoulShakin
Joined: 05 Jan 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:40 pm Post subject: |
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Hahahahaha I love the cat diary. 
I have both dogs and cats at home, and sometimes that seems SOO TRUE!
One of my cats at home has started to scare my mother. She'll wake up in the morning, and he is just sitting on the night stand, as close as he can get to her, and just stares at her. He stares at her when she goes to sleep, and he's still just staring at her when she wakes up. She's convinced he's planning something lol. I've always thought that cat just has some sort of cat version of autism. He's a little "off".
Great post. Thanks for the laugh!  |
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RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul, South Korea
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| Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:59 pm Post subject: |
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I've had dogs and cats, and I have to respectfully disagree with the cat diary.
It would be more like:
3:30am: The servants are still sleeping. I'm going to try meowing a lot to wake them up.
3:30am: The servants are still sleeping. This time I'm going to scratch up their clothes.
9:00am: One of the servants finally wakes up. I tell him to feed me, and he slowly does. He puts on clothes and leaves the apartment. He better be back tonight when it's time to feed me again. |
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Bramble
Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Location: National treasures need homes
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| Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 10:49 pm Post subject: |
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Big_Bird
Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...
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Gopher
Joined: 04 Jun 2005
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| Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 9:49 pm Post subject: |
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Glad to hear that I have touched you with this thread, Big_Bird.  |
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Big_Bird
Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...
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| Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 3:48 am Post subject: |
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| Your bloody avatar is making me laugh. I scroll down and suddenly bloody Tom Selleck is in my face, with that bloody cheesy pose. Bloody hell! |
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