Korean Job Discussion Forums

[ABC KID]

Please look into your crystal ball and reveal what is in store for Korea in the 21st century. It can be serious or light-hearted and probably far less detailed than mine.

Let's begin with ABC Kid's Korean Crystal Ball:

2008 - 이명박 becomes the new president and promises major reform of English education in South Korea.

2009 - Following a major scandal involving two Native Speaker English teachers it is proposed that foreigners, in addition to their ARC card, be made to carry their original degree certificate around with them at all times. 이명박 vetoes this policy after hearing that 89% of native speakers would leave the country within a year.

2010 - The big influx of Indian and Filipino English teachers begins.

2011 - Korean parents complain that their children's English pronunciation is not good enough.

2012 - The Korean government announces that no more visas will be issued to Indian and Filipino English teachers.

2013 - The state of English education in Korea looks almost identical to 2008.

2018 - Both North and South Korea qualify for the Soccer World Cup. They meet in the second round, where a highly controversial last minute goal for South Korea gives them a victory and creates big tension around the penisula. South Korea is knocked out in the quarter finals by Brazil.

2020 - Unconfirmed rumors circulate about the ailing Kim Jong Il's death. He hasn't been seen in public for three years.

2023 - Near revolution in South Korea! The new president announces that cameras will be put on every road in Korea. There will be a zero tolerance policy and all traffic light and speeding violations will result in a 200,000 won fine. American soldiers help to surpress one of the biggest street protests seen in any country ever.

2024 - 98.4% of Korean drivers were fined at least once in the first three months for violations of the new road laws. The Korean government raises 10 trillion won.

2025 - The Korean president stuns the world when he donates the whole ten trillion won raised from traffic violations to African charities. Korea wins acclaim around the world and is a proud nation once more.

6th Feb 2029 - The most shocking day of the 21st century as North Korea aim four nuclear weapons at the west coast of America. Thankfully all land in the Pacific Ocean, well short of their target. The recently elected American president Tiger Woods, announces that retribution will be swift.

7th Feb 2029 - North Korea announces the death of Kim Jong Il from cancer and flies a South Korean doctor in to perform the postmortem.

Mar 2029 - South Korea proposes immediate reunification to the North but only on their terms. The North, supported by China, refuses but does agree to have weapon inspectors in the North permanently. North Korea is declared a nuclear free zone four years later and makes no further effort to resume its program.

2031 - One of the proudest times in Korean history as a South Korean astronaut walks on the moon.

2033 - The Korean government commissions Arirang TV to make KimChi one of the most popular foods all over the world. Arirang fail miserably in their attempts.

2034 - Arirang TV is closed down for the loss of face they caused to the Korean people.

2035 - In a surprise turn of events, 떡 becomes popular worldwide, especially the green, yellow and pink sticky balls. The Christmas number one pop song in the UK is a novelty act singing about 떡. Korea is happy once more.

2040 - Busan hosts a truly spectacular Summer Olympic Games, possibly the best of all-time. Years earlier Busan beat Tokyo into second place in the voting, much to the delight of Korea people.

2044 - North Korea finally falls. Three consecutive truly devastating winters caused by the ever-worsening effects of global warming were too much and the army assassinates president Kim. Korea reunifies. The first ten years are pretty horrific economically but over the next fifty years Korea grows into one of the strongest nations in the world.

2055 - There is now at least one foreign child in most classes in Korean schools. They are usually treated well.

2070 - Most Korean's can speak English well now but it doesn't matter. All other major countries have been learning Chinese for the last forty years. China is now the global superpower. Some people predict that India could challenge US for second spot by the end of the century.

2095 - Korean scientists continue to confirm Korea's status as the world leader in technology. They are closing in on performing limited time travel.

2100 - Korea elects its first black politician.

[mistermasan]

as the dollar permanently tanks, korea begins to place more emphasis on mandarin instruction. by 2020 there are as many mandarin academies as english. due to close proximity to china, ease of getting visa and cheap costs korea gets much cozier with china.

by 2050 koreans look back and laugh when they used to study english. that language has as much int'l pull as french.

[Tokki1]

[chris_J2]

Very amusing. You might want to correct the small typo: in 2034, loss of face.

[Tokki1]

[chris_J2]

Tokki1 wrote:

[ED209]

2008-

March Elton John on a visit to Seoul concedes that Korea is more sparkling than he could ever dream to be.

April The city of Seoul builds a giant hub to replace Namdaemun.

May Busan levelled by giant paedophile

July July replaces June but refuses to give up own spot.

August Lee Myung Park propose plan to raise Seoul onto a giant turn table, spin it at high speed creating huge centrifugal forces thus reducing population density in the centre of the city.

September Ajumma discovers blue kim chi and recieves noble prize as it cures AIDS and paedophilia(too late for Busan though)

October Blue Kim chi causes AIDS and paedophilia

November New visa rules require all foreigners to be chemically castrated.

December Scooter drives on pavement

[RACETRAITOR]

That's a rather optimistic future. Mine would've gone:

2010: construction begins on cross-country canal
2015: construction finished
2016: South Korea sinks beneath the water

[Tokki1]

FEBRUARY The 72-year old arsonist responsible for the Nam Dae Mun disaster is found dead in his prison cell next to an electric fan.

MARCH Public school contracts remain unsigned. Teachers leave the country by the planeful and many return on tourist visas. The public school system threatens various recruiting agencies. Korean media begins broadcasting the problem. China increases ESL salaries.

APRIL Lee Myong Park announces that he is the son of Lee Soon Sin and unveils his secret plan to develop a turtle ship on a scale so enormous it will raise the sea level by five centimeters.

Lee Myong Park is shot in the kneecap with an elastic band at a press conference.

MAY Kim Jong Il announces that he will build a larger turtle ship and raise the sea level by 5.5 centimeters.

JUNE America bombs Switzerland, asserting that its 'cloak and dagger veil of neutrality must be removed in order to reestablish world peace and reveal the real beast that lurks beneath'.

JULY Saddam Houssein is found in Central Park, New York. He is disoriented, but claims he is risen from the dead.

The USA leaves Iraq and reinstates Houssein due to enormous pressure from religions sects. Houssein proceeds to bomb Germany for being too clean-shaven.

AUGUST Kim Jong Il launches several scud missiles which miss their targets and fall into the Pacific ocean.

France develops a revolutionary pastry in the shape of a seahorse.

Canada announces that its northern Albertan oil tar sands are actually a giant cover for the world's largest nuclear weapon silo in the world. During a routine inspection, a chain reaction is set off in the silo and Canada is annihilated.

SEPTEMBER Kim Jong Il fires another volley of scud missiles. Dok-Do is hit and destroyed.

Japan responds by building a man-made island between Japan and Korea. The island is made of a synthetic marshmallow-like material.

South Korea erects a giant electric fan to the west of the Japanese structure.

OCTOBER South Korea, realizing that there are no more paedophiles as a result of Canada's complete destruction, eases its visa laws.

Bin Ladin pops out of an imported French seahorse pastry in Seoul and declares jihad on kimchi. He is found dead in a jail cell days later next to an electric fan.

NOVEMBER Lee Myong Park passes a new law that reduces the number of electric fan blades to two instead of three or four.

A Korean scientist, experimenting with hemp and kimchi, discovers the ultimate recipe.

Several ajummahs at a kimchi rally self combust, producing a new material called 'ajummah-4'.

Marijuana is legalized in South Korea.

Kimchi is outlawed in the United States.

DECEMBER South and North Korea launch their enormous turtle ships simultaneously. The vessels, being much larger than anticipated, cause a rise in sea level that wipes out the Korean peninsula, Japan, Taiwan, and 24 other countries.

'Ajummah-4' creates a pandemic which wipes out the human race in two weeks.

[Juregen]

[Stormy]

Blue kimchi...multiple fan deaths.....a resurrected Hussein.

Funny stuff....haven't laughed so much in ages!