| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Steve Schertzer
Joined: 17 Jul 2006
Location: Pusan
|
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
gypsyfish
Joined: 17 Jan 2003
Location: Seoul
|
 Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 6:31 pm Post subject: |
 |
|
Are you posting this for us to edit? If so, I'd think about not using the 'pirate talk in it.
| Quote: |
| But your government, Mr. President, also needs to analyze me tears. |
Think about my tears, instead. Or add Arrrh! to it.
You also might consider proofing for tense, too.
| Quote: |
| From January 7th to the 25th, I teach a three-week winter English Camp here in Busan. Most of the elementary school children are adorable, and it is an honor to teach them. Yesterday I was in a classroom of 10 year olds. I was teaching them to speak in complete sentences. |
Since this was published in the 31 January issue of the Korea Times, I'm guessing you meant taught.
I'd also cut down on the hyperbole.
| Quote: |
| To be blunt, Mr. President, my tears and your legacy are inexorably linked. |
Blluurrrp! (sound of me retching)
Some of your expressions of love for your students sound a little creepy to me, but maybe it's my problem.
| Quote: |
| Then there was "Brian", a shy little boy who, when I attempted to team him up with a girl to practice speaking, panicked and almost started to cry. He reminded me of myself when I was 22! I hugged Brian, then teamed him up with another boy. ... Hire foreign teachers who love your children. ... And I look forward to Sophia taking my hands in hers once again, and teaching me to dance. ... Hire foreign teachers who miss their students when they are not with them. Hire foreign teachers who want to be here. Hire foreign teachers who can't imagine doing anything else but sharing their time and energy with their students. In other words, Mr. President, hire foreign teachers who love your children. |
Maybe not.
Good luck on your quest for a position in the new president's cabinet. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
blaseblasphemener
Joined: 01 Jun 2006
Location: There's a voice, keeps on calling me, down the road, that's where I'll always be
|
| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 6:40 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| The OP needs to get l@!d. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Yu_Bum_suk
Joined: 25 Dec 2004
|
| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 6:48 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: |
| To be blunt, Mr. President, my tears and your legacy are inexorably linked. The medical exam that I took recently will... |
...fail to show your creepy megalomania.
Would you care to confirm or deny to those of us in Korea whether you were in fact terminated from a school in Bangkok for preceived incompetence and discussing your affairs with bargirls with your students? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
CentralCali
Joined: 17 May 2007
|
| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 7:03 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Don't forget that he teaches them
Whatever that is. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
actionjackson
Joined: 30 Dec 2007
Location: Any place I'm at
|
| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 7:05 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| gypsyfish wrote: |
Are you posting this for us to edit? If so, I'd think about not using the 'pirate talk in it.
| Quote: |
| But your government, Mr. President, also needs to analyze me tears. |
Think about my tears, instead. Or add Arrrh! to it. |
I personally feel that there isn't enough pirate talk out there in the world these days. I do think an Arrrh would have added that little something extra though.
Some of your expressions of love for your students sound a little creepy to me, but maybe it's my problem.
| Quote: |
| Then there was "Brian", a shy little boy who, when I attempted to team him up with a girl to practice speaking, panicked and almost started to cry. He reminded me of myself when I was 22! I hugged Brian, then teamed him up with another boy. ... Hire foreign teachers who love your children. ... And I look forward to Sophia taking my hands in hers once again, and teaching me to dance. ... Hire foreign teachers who miss their students when they are not with them. Hire foreign teachers who want to be here. Hire foreign teachers who can't imagine doing anything else but sharing their time and energy with their students. In other words, Mr. President, hire foreign teachers who love your children. |
Yes, very creepy. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
rhinocharge64
Joined: 20 Sep 2006
|
| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 8:09 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Off his rocker man!! Deport the bar steward. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
brento1138
Joined: 17 Nov 2004
|
| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 8:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Ugghh. This doesn't sound like it was written by a foreigner. Sounds a little emotional, sappy... straight out of a Korean Drama. Also a bit creepy. Actually... fully creepy. And I don't quite get this bit here:
| Quote: |
| Then there was "Brian", a shy little boy who, when I attempted to team him up with a girl to practice speaking, panicked and almost started to cry. He reminded me of myself when I was 22! I hugged Brian, then teamed him up with another boy. |
So, at age 22 he was afraid of girls? Is this line supposed to be a joke? If so, I don't get it...
| Quote: |
| You're going to need my tears to test for love and passion. |
Ughhh... I feel sick to my stomach... When the tear-tests come, maybe it'll be time for my stint in Korea to end. haha. freak!
 |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
thehappywaeguk
Joined: 23 Jan 2008
Location: Not Sure
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Night Ranger
Joined: 17 Jan 2008
|
| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 8:45 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| damn steve..are you allright in the head??? I screw around alot and say screwed up stuff...but I'm only f'in around. You're publishing this in a paper man...that's not good....and you should get that gout checked out broski. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
ceesgetdegrees
Joined: 12 Jul 2007
|
| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 8:46 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| blaseblasphemener wrote: |
| The OP needs to get l@!d. |
I was just thinking that. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
crusher_of_heads
Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Location: kimbop and kimchi for kimberly!!!!
|
| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 8:54 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Yu_Bum_suk wrote: |
| Quote: |
| To be blunt, Mr. President, my tears and your legacy are inexorably linked. The medical exam that I took recently will... |
...fail to show your creepy megalomania.
Would you care to confirm or deny to those of us in Korea whether you were in fact terminated from a school in Bangkok for preceived incompetence and discussing your affairs with bargirls with your students? |
Damn that had to hurt |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Suwoner10
Joined: 10 Dec 2007
|
| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 9:03 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Quote:
But your government, Mr. President, also needs to analyze me tears.
----------------
Like him? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul, South Korea
|
| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 9:08 pm Post subject: Re: A Letter to President-Elect Lee Myung-bak. |
|
|
| Steve Schertzer wrote: |
| www.ajarn.com/Contris/schertzerfeb2008.htm |
That was the most godawful shiat I ever glanced through. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Fresh Prince
Joined: 05 Dec 2006
Location: The glorious nation of Korea
|
| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 10:30 pm Post subject: |
|
|
OP: Did you write this letter because you are afraid they will deny your visa due to the high blood pressure, color blindness, etc.?
If so, it would probably be a good idea to put that in the first paragraph: You could say, "Although I have worked as a teacher in Korea for x years, I will likely be denied a visa because I am not in optimal health, however none of my medical problems affect my ability to teach..." As it stands, the letter lacks clarity as to what the central thesis is, and lacks support as to why the reader should agree with you. It would be a good idea to leave out the opening paragraph's over-the-top salutation, as well. Obviously being forced out of a teaching job in Korea is an emotional issue but the references to "analyzing tears," and "loving" are probably best left out.
Will they deny a visa for high blood pressure and color blindness? Interesting topic. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
