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Moral dilemma: To quit or not to quit
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What would you do?
Quit
61%
 61%  [ 21 ]
Stay
38%
 38%  [ 13 ]
Total Votes : 34

Author Message
Newbie



Joined: 07 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 12:59 am    Post subject: Moral dilemma: To quit or not to quit Reply with quote

What would you do in my position:

F-2 Visa. Wife and kid. 6-7 more months on the ROK

Current job: Mon-Fri, actual teaching is only 4 hours a day. But with the commute, prep, homework crap I'm out of the house 2:30-10:00. (last 6 months had shorter hours, but someone just quit and we can't find a replacement). Nice place, never given any hassles. Cool American manager that I'd hate to leave high and dry. (that sounds bad -- if it were a cool Korean teacher, I'd hate to live him high and dry too)

Prospective employment: Mon-Fri, 2:00 6:00 straight teaching. 45,000 won/hour. 5 minutes drive from my home. Next to no prep. No homework. This job gives me a lot more time with kiddie and eases the pressure on my wife.

Obviously the new job is better for time and pay, but I'd feel like a real *beep* breaking out of my contract early just for the sake of money. Even if I give 4-6 weeks notice I just hate to screw my co-workers.
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The Grumpy Senator



Joined: 13 Jan 2008
Location: Up and down the 6 line

PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 1:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have had a similar situation. I decided to stay because the school I am at has done nothing wrong. I signed a contract and therefore I should complete it. All that "word of honor" stuff.

I also have a little one at home and my day (including travel time) is 9am-8pm. I know the stress of not being home to help the wife, but what kind of example for the little one are you if you do not honor your commitments?

In the end it is your choice, I hope my post helps.
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Newbie



Joined: 07 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 1:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Grumpy Senator wrote:
I have had a similar situation. I decided to stay because the school I am at has done nothing wrong. I signed a contract and therefore I should complete it. All that "word of honor" stuff.

I also have a little one at home and my day (including travel time) is 9am-8pm. I know the stress of not being home to help the wife, but what kind of example for the little one are you if you do not honor your commitments?

In the end it is your choice, I hope my post helps.


Thanks for that... I've been leaning that way (with the wife strongly pushing the other way).

Now, the little one is only 9 months old, so I wouldn't really be setting a bad example as she has no idea what's going on.... Laughing Wink
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Saxiif



Joined: 15 May 2003
Location: Seongnam

PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 1:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Breaking the contract would be pulling a runner, giving people a month's notice and then quitting is just standard in the business world. No reason not to do it if the new job is legit.
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seoulsucker



Joined: 05 Mar 2006
Location: The Land of the Hesitant Cutoff

PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 1:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Never forget that YOU are providing a service for your employer. You don't owe him anything other than ample time to find a replacement. Give 'em two weeks, take the new job.
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nomad-ish



Joined: 08 Oct 2007
Location: On the bottom of the food chain

PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 1:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

family always comes first in my books. which do you think your daughter will appreciate more when she grows up, a father who kept his word on a contract or a father who spent a few extra hours a day with her?

that's just my opinion.

edit: obviously i voted to quit, however i would still give my employer's the proper 30days notice
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kimchi_pizza



Joined: 24 Jul 2006
Location: "Get back on the bus! Here it comes!"

PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 3:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If your manager is cool meaning reasonable and understanding why not be straight-up with him and tell him the situation. He may have a family of his own and understand and possibly come to an agreement that will benefit the both of you. He may even give you an additional monetary motivation to stick around.

If not, I'm old school and hold contracts inviolate unless the other party reneges or an unforseeable problem comes up. It's good to see some others here feel the same.


Last edited by kimchi_pizza on Thu Feb 28, 2008 4:30 am; edited 1 time in total
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Joe.In.Seoul



Joined: 19 Feb 2008

PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 3:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Obviously the new job is better for time and pay, but I'd feel like a real *beep* breaking out of my contract early just for the sake of money. Even if I give 4-6 weeks notice I just hate to screw my co-workers.


Four to six weeks notice is normal notice for Koreans + better time and pay * time with family = no-brainer.

You are not screwing anyone.
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stevemcgarrett



Joined: 24 Mar 2006

PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 3:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're a good guy, Newbie.

My motto: family comes first (unless you're an on-call doctor).

These are your child's most formative years. Whatever regrets you might have down the pike about running, you'll have more if you miss out on these fleeting days with your child. Think about it.

Give some notice and emphasize it's for family reasons, and offer to assist him in finding a replacement, at least by providing your contact info as a reliable reference for prospective employees.

Then make the break.
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Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 3:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You said you are only staying here another 6 or 7 months, so if you move to the new job, you'll only be staying about half a year. That's not really very long. I recommend staying at your present job. I disagree with the idea that you don't owe someone to keep a promise. You said the boss has been good so far, so he's keeping his end of the deal. I think you should, too.
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isthisreally



Joined: 01 Sep 2007

PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 3:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Give acceptable notice and leave. This is business. And with all that work your hourly rate probably isn't that good. So even though your employer is nice and everything, they are still taking advantage of you in a sense. That's just how businesses work you know? I also agree with family coming first.
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TheChickenLover



Joined: 17 Dec 2007
Location: The Chicken Coop

PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 4:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your family is FAR more important than any job.

I'm surprised you're even asking this one. If it was me (& this has happened to me once), I would simply pack up my stuff & leave. Life is short, make a decision & don't look back. Family is always 1st regardless of what anyone else thinks.

Chicken
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Typhoon



Joined: 29 May 2007
Location: Daejeon

PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 4:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Give proper notice and leave. You only owe that to your employer. You owe a lot more to your family. The 9-20 month mark for kids is amazing as they start walking, talking and being more like a real person. The transformation is amazing to see. You should be there to witness your child growing up. A job is just a job and your family should always come first. Give proper notice and be honest about the situation.
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Typhoon



Joined: 29 May 2007
Location: Daejeon

PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 5:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

double post
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VanIslander



Joined: 18 Aug 2003
Location: Geoje, Hadong, Tongyeong,... now in a small coastal island town outside Gyeongsangnamdo!

PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 5:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

nomad-ish wrote:
which do you think your daughter will appreciate more when she grows up, a father who kept his word on a contract or a father who spent a few extra hours a day with her?

Neither. Your decision on this mater has absolutely nothing to do with how your daughter will see you over a decade later. Though she will some day appreciate if you keep your word as a general habit of principle, and if you make money to save some for her.

I agree wholeheartedly with the following posters.

The Grumpy Senator wrote:
I have had a similar situation. I decided to stay because the school I am at has done nothing wrong. I signed a contract and therefore I should complete it.


Ya-Ta Boy wrote:
You said you are only staying here another 6 or 7 months, so if you move to the new job, you'll only be staying about half a year. That's not really very long. I recommend staying at your present job. I disagree with the idea that you don't owe someone to keep a promise. You said the boss has been good so far, so he's keeping his end of the deal. I think you should, too.


kimchi_pizza wrote:
If your manager is cool meaning reasonable and understanding why not be straight-up with him and tell him the situation. He may have a family of his own and understand and possibly come to an agreement that will benefit the both of you. He may even give you an additional monetary motivation to stick around.

If not, I'm old school and hold contracts inviolate unless the other party reneges or an unforseeable problem comes up. It's good to see some others here feel the same.

Absolutely.

How much difference is made with only about 6 more months here? If you are like many of us who feel the call to integrity and honouring of contracts, especially when others expect us to keep our word, then why upset nice people who are counting on you to do what you agreed to do?

AFTER the next six or seven months you'll be elsewhere and can consider your family commitments more BEFORE taking on responsibilities which might conflict with it.

Stick with it and feel good about yourself. It's not for a long time anyways. You won't regret it.

Good luck whatever.
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