Korean Job Discussion Forums

just because · Joined: 01 Aug 2003 Location: Changwon - 4964

I have a 7 year-old niece and 9 year-old nephew who I am about to start teaching....

I am doing this for FREE 2 times a week because i am a nice person but my wife is not happy and thinks i should be doing it more.....she thinks minimum 3 and I feel she would try to push it everyday if I rolled over.

We never argue much in the long time we have been together but this seems to be a bit of a hot issue. I feel I am being used a little bit. I am happy to help but within reason. She thinks because it is family I should be helping them out more.....

So for people (as I am sure there are a few) in my situation what did you do???

kiwiduncan · Joined: 18 Jun 2007 Location: New Zealand

If you allow people to pressure you into teaching them it'll be counter-roductive and you might end up resenting it. A couple of hours of 'classroom' like study might be ok, but if it's convenient, how about just doing some stuff like checking out some temples, going to the park with them and stuff. The kids will get some exposure to English in a relaxed, non-classroom setting and you'll have a chance to get some fresh air and see the sights.

If you're based in Changwon still I've heard there are some great parks, reservoirs and such nearby.

meangradin · Joined: 10 Mar 2006

teaching relatives for free can be a pandoras box; soon you'll have the niece of the niece, who is cousin to the uncle of such and such wanting your low fee class for their kids. Although I don't teach for free, I do give a family dicsount, and let's just say that the definition of family has been stretched.

Ryst Helmut

Passions · Joined: 31 May 2006

Tell her that you are a law-abiding citizen and that includes no illegal tutoring lessons for free.

Expect to sleep on the coach for the next few weeks.

flakfizer · Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 12:53 am Post subject:

Don't do it if you don't want to. Your wife should support your decision. Once a person gets married, their primary loyalty is to their new family, not their old one. I think free lessons twice a week is generous. It's almost like paying their English hagwon fee for them each month. It may also depend on the relationship. Are they just relatives or are you really close with them?

Captain Corea · Joined: 28 Feb 2005 Location: Seoul

One of my wife's cousins suggested it,and it was my wife who flat out told them no.

She wants me makin' money Wink

whatever · Joined: 11 Jun 2006 Location: Korea: More fun than jail.

^^Yeah, that seems pretty rude of them to press for more, unless you happen to be very close with them.

What are the parents' professions? Do they comp some sort of service or goods for you? Maybe give-and-take ought to be more of a factor...

Kimchieluver · Joined: 02 Mar 2005

I did it for the young ones for about six months. Then I just told them I needed my free time. They were totally understanding and bought me expensive gifts. Since then I have been asked to do conversation with my niece last winter before she started uni. It was a breeze and and refreshing. Anyways, they know that I can make money doing it for other people, so they don't ask. They respect my time.

The reason I don't do privates is because I respect my time. My wife likes me fully charged at home too and not having to clean up for family. (She really goes overboard on the cleaning).

Whistleblower · Joined: 03 Feb 2007

bondjimbond · Joined: 29 Dec 2007 Location: Seoul

kprrok · Joined: 06 Apr 2004 Location: KC

I'm gonna tutor my niece when she gets older, and it'll be cheap for my wife's sister, but that's because I'm a nice guy and we're pretty close. It won't be hard-core studying, but it'll be good for her.

I'll help other family members, and possible close friends of my family, but that's because they could then give me other business.

KPRROK

Temporary · Joined: 13 Jan 2008

You do it, you will resent it.

Hanson · Joined: 20 Oct 2004

This was a sore point between my wife and I. Like someone else said, once you give them an inch, they'll take a mile. I also don't teach my wife's relatives, although my wife wanted me to.

I compare it to any other profession. Would you expect your plumber uncle to fix your plumbing for free? Would you expect your real estate aunt to wave her fee and work for free? Would your science teacher cousin teach your kid extra science on the side for free?

My answer was "Hell no! I'd feel terrible not paying a relative for work", but my wife kinda said "yeah, if it's family, you should do it for free." In the end, I just "put my foot down" on this issue and compromised on another issue that my wife really held to. Eventually, she saw that this was an important issue for me, and understood my take on it. My wife had to get creative to shoo them away.

This was a while ago, and I haven't heard about it again since. There has to be a separation between family and work. I could just see myself becoming "English Teacher Hanson" at family get-togethers over Chuseok and whatnot... No thanks!