Korean Job Discussion Forums

[pkang0202]

The computer I was given is ancient and I need to break it to get a new one. What I can I do so that:

1. It doesn't look intentional
2. It can't be fixed by replacing just 1 component


This computer is so slow, I gotta wait 30 seconds after I type a few words before it actually comes up on the screen. The space bar sticks and doesn't work half the time. It takes about 5 minutes to launch Internet Explorer and then another 2 minutes just to load the google homepage.

I go to a korean site like gmarket and the computer hangs for like 15 minutes. It sees all the images and scripts and basically has a stroke.

[anyangoldboy]

[quote="pkang0202"]The computer I was given is ancient and I need to break it to get a new one. What I can I do so that:

1. It doesn't look intentional
2. It can't be fixed by replacing just 1 component


This computer is so slow, I gotta wait 30 seconds after I type a few words before it actually comes up on the screen. The space bar sticks and doesn't work half the time. It takes about 5 minutes to launch Internet Explorer and then another 2 minutes just to load the google homepage.

I go to a korean site like gmarket and the computer hangs for like 15 minutes. It sees all the images and scripts and basically has a stroke.[/quote]

Delete most of the prime systems or something???

[pkang0202]

Its gotta be a hardware failure.

[eamo]

Seems like you have to break the motherboard.

Spill some coffee into the vents?

Drop some paperclips in there and hope they short something?

Press down hard on the mobo until it cracks?

Mess up the motherboard BIOS by trying to update it with BIOS for another brand of motherboard? I'd like to see anyone trying to diagnose that!!

[JustJohn]

Not that I condone any of this but I have to agree with the last one:

Flash that bios with the wrong version; that should do quite nicely.

[hanguker]

Great thread!

The flashing idea seems great, but I'm sure there are some fail-safes to prevent that. How savvy is the hagwon owner? Would they realize if you maybe inserted the memory backwards or seated it incorrectly..maybe pulled a plug out of the HDD? If you perma-crashed Windows, the PC would certainly seem broken.

[JustJohn]

Depending on how thorough you want to be and how much effort you're willing to put in you could also try:

1. A simple coke spill. The obvious solution if it's a laptop. Can work on a desktop as well, but will require a little ingenuity.

2. Shock the motherboard and/or other components

3. Open up the power supply and tug apart a couple connections or resistors. Careful though, I hear they can explode if you mess with the wrong parts. Also don't make it too obvious in case they take a look at it.

4. Mess with the boot sectors on your hard drives.

5. I'm still kind of partial to messing with the bios. Will f the computer up nicely without any physical damage.

[ttompatz]

If you are willing to open the case....

Rub your feet on some carpet or an inflated balloon against your hair and then touch the main board. A nice jolt or 3 of static electricity will usually kill it beyond repair and leave NO physical evidence.

You could also bend a pin or 10 on the CPU chip. No-one would look there for a problem. They would just diagnose dead and replace rather than repair a dinosaur. If, on the odd chance they did remove the CPU chip the tech would think he accidentally bent the pins somehow because NO-ONE would remove the chip otherwise.

On older systems you could also disable the CPU fan and let it cook itself to death. Again, cheaper to replace than repair.

Flashing the bios will do just about as well but some mainboards (especially the older ones) won't let you. Some are also dual bios to prevent you from doing stupid things like that (assuming no-one would intentionally do it).

[JustJohn]

Oh yeah, can't believe I left out letting the cpu fry.

[cbclark4]

Stick a pencil or paper clip into the powersupply fan vent.

[pkang0202]

Some great ideas here. I have a feeling that if I break t his computer, they will replace it with an even OLDER model they have sitting around somewhere.

[ttompatz]

The alternative is boot from the CD, remove the old partition, reformat and install a new copy of the O/S of your choice.

It will certainly add 30% to your apparent operating speed as well as clean out the crap and old active X components that are dragging it into the mud.

[Temporary]

OR download a software overclocking and OC the bugger to suicide. Even better if you open the case just subotage the cpu fan.

[cbclark4]

A burnt CPU doesn't smell as bad as a burnt power supply.

I guess it depends on how much drama you want.

[Juregen]

Magnets anyone?

Stick on to your hard drive.