Korean Job Discussion Forums

Hanson · Joined: 20 Oct 2004

I do this way too much. It's something I have to stop doing because it really does create a wedge and it hurts my wife's feelings.

My wife understands my frustrations and usually tolerates my comments, but I know my comments touch her in a negative way.

While driving, I'll make a comment about Korean drivers. While shopping, I'll point out the cutting in line or the shouting meat-seller or the clueless cart-rammer/blocker of aisles. Around town, I'll point out the farmers-in-suits staring at me and my family, giggling, pointing and mesmerized-looking. While crossing the street with my family, I'll make an angry statement about the dangers of simply walking around with my family.

The reason I do this, I guess, is I want vindication and support for my peeves. My wife is my best friend, my leaning post, my sounding board and my confidante (sp). However, my needs are also bringing about a negative vibe and causes our relationship to suffer.

The other day, while driving, I said "Fukcing Koreans and their driving!!!" etcetera, etcetera, and my wife lashed back with "Fukcing Canadians and their intolerance!!!" You gotta love her for that.

laogaiguk · Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Location: somewhere in Korea

It depends on how much, but back home I am always saying "Bloody French and their shitty driving" or "Stupid Canadian taxes" etc etc. I actually cuss Canadians (my home) more than I do Koreans. I know emotionally it's different when it's your home you are cussing compared to someone else's (for example your wife), but it's pretty normal. I am sure she would do the same thing back in your country Smile

Though, there is still a line between just cussing stupidity and being racist. I do assume from your posts though it's not the racist one.

eamo · Joined: 08 Mar 2003 Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.

Yeah. It's a tricky one.

She's your wife and you want to tell her how you feel about stuff. Yet, you can't just hammer her countrymen all the time. Even if your ire is justified.

I try to vent to my wife in a humorous way so she can share my amusement at the wacked out things Koreans do.

pocariboy73 · Joined: 23 Jan 2003

I hear ya. I have the same problem...

caniff · Joined: 03 Feb 2004 Location: All over the map

crusher_of_heads · Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 6:27 pm Post subject:

Korea is perfect society

inkoreaforgood · Joined: 15 Dec 2003 Location: Inchon

mrsquirrel · Joined: 13 Dec 2006

What they are here for.

I am pretty sure if it was back in the west we would have been divorced ten times over by now.

I know that there is now way any woman other than my missus would put up with my rants.

tzechuk · Joined: 20 Dec 2004

I do it all the time!!! Lucky for me, my husband spent a lot of his youth in France and Germany and completely understands where I am coming from.. so he handles my complaints quite well... but I think it still pisses him off.

Hank the Iconoclast · Joined: 08 Oct 2007 Location: Busan

I have been in the exact same situation. I usually start cursing about the banks everytime I go in one with her. I try to control myself and I feel guilty for going on a tirade. She is definitely understanding though, so I have to give her credit.

CentralCali · Joined: 17 May 2007

Try singling out the target of your frustration. Instead of complaining to her about Korean drivers, complain to her about that particular driver who ran a red light, drove on the sidewalk, etc. After all, if she's a driver, then she's also a Korean driver. That means that you attacked her personally even if you didn't mean it that way.

And, as inkoreaforgood posted, not all Korean drivers here are bad. Actually, I'd think that if the bad drivers were the majority, then the accident rate, high as it is now, would be even higher.

caniff · Joined: 03 Feb 2004 Location: All over the map

Frankly Mr Shankly · Joined: 13 Feb 2008

In my humble opinion it reflects poorly on the education system of the country that many in Korea cannot handle criticism of the place. After all, kids there are taught from a young age that Korea is infallible and mighty. My spouse is Indonesian and although nationalism can be just as horrid here, she has no issue with me criticising the place, nor do I have a problem with her candid observations about Australia. And of course you have that special brand of love-it-or-leave-it American, who I find to be amongst the most detestable sub-species of westerner. Being proud of your country is fine, but having blind faith in the place is just plain dumb.

philipjames · Joined: 03 Feb 2003

I appreciate this thread. So many times I've complained and bitched about Korea to my girlfriend. I love her and it makes me feel extremely bad for bad-mouthing her country. But she is amazingly tolerant and forgiving of my big mouth. As I start into a rant about Korea there's a voice in my head saying "Shut the fukc up. Are you intentionally trying to hurt this wonderful person's feelings?" but, incredibly, I ignore it and rant on. Ten minutes later I get these attacks of guilt and feel terrible. I promise myself to mind my tonque in future. But sometimes Korea really, really, really gets to me and I can't hold back. And if she's the only person with me she gets to hear my complaints. I went into a rant a couple of weeks ago and I felt sick about it for a couple of days.

Korea can drive a person nuts. The (ten) thousand little things.....

itaewonguy · Joined: 25 Mar 2003