Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Eedoryeong]

Hi

I had a problem in my grade 6 class the other day, I'm wondering how any of you might handle this.

A very large grade 6 boy with some moderate autism and another condition I don't know the name for started getting really close to some of his female classmates in my class. I'm not sure if pulling him off and telling him not to get so close was the right thing, but the Korean teacher who has been managing him didn't intervene on the three occasions this happened in the same class.

The first time was for conversation practice. Usually the K-teach and I team up and demo the dialogue, then alternate between practising with the boy while the other checks groups. But last class the boy took the initiative and tried practising with his fellow students behind him - to no success as they hate him apparently - and then he got up and went to two girls in the class and put his face within an inch of their faces while repeatedly talking to them, speaking Korean (soft tones) and pointing his finger and trying to touch their noses and faces in an odd manner that looked extremely discomforting.

Oh, and he doesn't talk like this with the boys or teachers.

He came in a very close distance to two such girls, and later clasped the hand of a third trying to pull her out of her desk to come with him to the back of the classroom for something or other. None of the people involved can be said to be his friends really. It's a little bit sad in that regard. I think from what little I know of the kids that he was not engaging in conversation with common friends. Each girl acted surprised and a little horrified that they were getting his attention.

So each of these, I watched for a second to see if it could be excused or understood as something else however weird, but the way he was turning his head around, and they were backing away and complaining about his smell (nemse!) and how he kept getting closer and closer gave me the creeps and I pulled him off on each occasion, but for various reasons I just told him in Korean that pointing the finger so close is so rude and not to do it again. He explained back to me in his limited English that when the person makes a wrong sentence that we touch the nose or something like that. I fear I may be developing a bias but that sounded like an excuse.

Each time I felt
1) I let it go on too long - to the point of creepiness
2) Why am I pulling him off and why isn't the male Korean teacher?
3) Where is his mom? She used to come and stand outside the classroom managing, mothering, encouraging, scolding, supporting him through grade 5

We have a sexuality counselor in our school now I noticed the other day. Should I say anything? I don't know if he just does that because it's English class or if he does that all the time.

Anybody with experience in this touchy subject area please step up.

EDIT: I just wanted to add I think the two extremes I'm worried about falling too close to are 1) painting him as a monster 2) allowing female students in the class to be preyed upon by a fellow student.

[nicholas_chiasson]

ask the co-teachers what to do? Seriously, make an issue of it.

[Eedoryeong]

Yeah, I have a feeling that the Korean teacher may spend so much time reigning him in (whatever that would be for dealing with autistic children) on all the other days that he needs me to do some of the grunt work.

I feel that everybody's doing him a disservice by pretending the reasons for prying him off of girls are about anything other than what it truly is. But he seems ripe for a good talking-to.

[nicholas_chiasson]

autistic kids are usually asexual...or just beat it in private. And they can't lie. You really should get more feedback about what policy they want to set with this kid.

[Hobophobic]

[EzeWong]

He doesn't sound Autistic at all.

Autistic children prefer set patterned lifestyles and have poor social skills (Mostly averse to communication). This sounds completely outside of a normal daily routine and not typical of an Autistic child. If he has tenants of Autism, which you said may be mild autism this would make more sense, purely showing itself as just poor social skills...

I used to help autistic kids and have a lot of knowledge about psychology and mental diseases, but there aren't enough details here to gather a proper understanding of what is going with his thought process.

The primary issue I question, is this about sexuality? It is true that he is in 6th grade where most boys enter puberty. He is in an awkward phase, but the fact that he is autistic makes me believe this is not the case. I believe it could be a case of a comfort level with females. You mentioned his mom waits on him and encourages him etc. He may just have a better time relating to females... especially if the male role model in his house is not supportive. This is highly speculative, but I would consider this to be taken into serious consideration not to presumptuous and assume it is of the sexual nature. In addition it seems that other boys hate him, and he may be aware of it. But if he is autistic he may not sense it from the females in the class (as females may be more passive to a large male).

Regardless if he's doing this of a sexual nature or not you still need to stop him. I understand, you don't want to paint this poor child who suffers from a mental handicap as a horrid monster. But at the same time you don't want the children to suffer by him making them akward.

Personally, I've always taken more pity on children with mental disabilities. I would (in my case) talk to the other children, have them reach an understanding of why he behaves that way, and try to have the children become accepting of him, maybe even become his friends (I realize this is an unrealistic expectation and very ideal. This would assume you can speak Korean well enough or somehow convince the translator to do this for you)

The more probable solution and the one that may suit you better is to inform the mother and counselors of this problem (Basically passing the baggage) IN this case, there may be nothing wrong with doing that. I only fear the mom wouldn't know how to deal with the problem properly and just end up scolding him.

Could you tell us more details about this case?
Such as what exactly his handicap is? Is it very observable? Does he have patterned behavior? Does he have any friends? Speech slurs? or is is just having a hard time empathizing? Being able to help diagnosis exactly what he has will help you deal with the problem.

[Eedoryeong]

[Cheonmunka]

It's funny this, I actually have almost exactly the same difficulties with a boy in my new class. He's quite unmanageable. He hasn't learned anything (in the classes I have with him) of what all the other kids have learned to do. I have tried different methods and approaches including up close and soft and one to one. It's really hard to get eye contact. He has no emotion for the feelings for other students. Sometimes it seems he is following what the class is doing as a group but it's like an act - A 'sit up straight and pretend to be a student time.' He goobs on people and throws pencils etc, but not in anger, and he tampers with other students' stuff annoyingly. But, here's a dichotomy, 'cause at this time it seems he is purposely trying to dig at others. Telling off by anyone doesn't make a difference apart from a few minutes of quiet. He chants and talks to himself, "One, one, ten, ten, a hahahaha" and rock his body back and forth. He will get up and run silently without any notice, and jog around the classroom. You can sense that in his mind there are a hundred people cheering him as he runs. The smile on his face is large - like that Chariots of Fire Scottish scene. But, he doesn't look at others or get their attention when he does it. He's not doing it for a darish thing for others to look at, it's in his own mind. No one notices him, actually. Except for me.
It's his world and that's all that he sees. I imagine very little from me gets through. His parents work so he has to be at classes late. No reprive for me ...
Korean teachers come across as seeming that they don't want to seperate him experientially from the others - he's a student and he should learn as the others do.
The behaviour and inattention is honestly hard to cope with. It's very frustrating for me. But, I am also slowly changing in that I will just go with the flow and try not to let it affect me or other students' learning.