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it's full of stars
Joined: 26 Dec 2007
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 Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 12:13 am Post subject: Grabbin' your ankles |
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Has anyone got any advice on how to go about changing a semi-functioning relationship with a SOB of a co-teacher into a functional, almost pleasant one?
It may well be that I need some advice about how to behave around my Korean co-t, admittedly I can be a pain in the ass, but I've put up with a lot since the start of contract and I want to try and move on from that.
So, any Dr. Phils out there? |
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BS.Dos.
Joined: 29 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 12:31 am Post subject: |
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How to come across as well mannered, professional and polite work colleague should really be second nature, but as you're honest enough to acknowledge that you can be a pain in the ass, then I'd start by looking at what's causing you to act like that. Is there anything that winds you up and causes you to become difficult to work with? Do you enjoy your job? Are you homesick etc?
I was lead to believe that I'd experience some culture shock around the 3-month mark, but I'm coming up to my 8-month now and I still haven't experienced anything remotely similar to anything I'd describe as culture shock.
Perhaps you could give a few more specific details as it may be just that your CT is just an ass who brings the worst out in you. |
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moosehead
Joined: 05 May 2007
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 3:20 am Post subject: Re: Grabbin' your ankles |
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| it's full of stars wrote: |
Has anyone got any advice on how to go about changing a semi-functioning relationship with a SOB of a co-teacher into a functional, almost pleasant one?
It may well be that I need some advice about how to behave around my Korean co-t, admittedly I can be a pain in the ass, but I've put up with a lot since the start of contract and I want to try and move on from that.
So, any Dr. Phils out there? |
well I don't know if you'll be able to grasp this or not because when I was relatively new here - even after a couple of years - I was still researching culture issues just sure that there was something I could do to reach through what I saw as walls, not bridges, between me and my co-Ts.
Turns out, it wasn't me at all - it's K. The sooner you learn that and accept it, the easier it will be to get along - why? because you'll learn to accept things as being just the way they are, and feel more able to be just the way you are because it's just not going to make any difference otherwise.
Of course you should always do your best to get along, but if you think things are just for some reason not going the way they should, could very well be it's always going to be that way.
I hope you don't misunderstand this or misconstrue it. This country is quite difficult to adapt to, is all. I do wish you the best of luck, just don't sweat to much, it's probably not you at all.  |
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it's full of stars
Joined: 26 Dec 2007
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 3:28 am Post subject: |
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Well I am polite, more polite than most people I meet. I am always prepared for work in advance and come to work well-dresssed and clean.
I am respectful to people in work, though I have stopped saying hello (in Korean) to the older men who never said hello back. I ignore the vast majority of female staff as they act like even looking at me will impregnate them.
Apart from these minor issues I get on really well with the students and with 3 other co-teachers and the computer guy. So-like I said, I can be an asshole but I have a sneaking suspicion that at least some of the problem is generated by wrangler.
Things like not telling me that class times have been changed until the start of class (4 times last week). Not filtering down requests for paperwork until the day before it's needed (last week also), even though she knew for 2 weeks in advance, not being told about trips out with other teachers (twice, Christmas and the like) until an hour before they happen. More stuff in her dealings with me that just set my teeth on edge, but I don't want to get too detailed.
Maybe she genuinely is oblivious? Any suggestions? |
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captain kirk
Joined: 29 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 3:43 am Post subject: |
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| it's full of stars wrote: |
I ignore the vast majority of female staff as they act like even looking at me will impregnate them.
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You're a very funny guy. Have you tried joking with her? |
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R. S. Refugee
Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Location: Shangra La, ROK
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 3:54 am Post subject: |
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| it's full of stars wrote: |
Well I am polite, more polite than most people I meet. I am always prepared for work in advance and come to work well-dresssed and clean.
I am respectful to people in work, though I have stopped saying hello (in Korean) to the older men who never said hello back. I ignore the vast majority of female staff as they act like even looking at me will impregnate them.
Apart from these minor issues I get on really well with the students and with 3 other co-teachers and the computer guy. So-like I said, I can be an asshole but I have a sneaking suspicion that at least some of the problem is generated by wrangler.
Things like not telling me that class times have been changed until the start of class (4 times last week). Not filtering down requests for paperwork until the day before it's needed (last week also), even though she knew for 2 weeks in advance, not being told about trips out with other teachers (twice, Christmas and the like) until an hour before they happen. More stuff in her dealings with me that just set my teeth on edge, but I don't want to get too detailed.
Maybe she genuinely is oblivious? Any suggestions? |
The things that you are describing are very typically Korean. So, don't take it personally. They'd f*ck anyone over like that. Informing you of things at the last minute, ect. They don't even know it's rude or inconsiderate. And, believe me, you don't want to be trying to educate them on such matters. That's like telling them what sucks about their culture. Leave the criticism of Korean culture up to the Koreans.
When they ask me at 4:30 on Friday afternoon if I want to go out to a teachers's dinner at 4:35 that they've all known about many days (weeks?) in advance, I just say, "Gosh. I'm so sorry. I'd really like to go, but I have other plans with friends tonight. If only I'd known about this at least one day in advance I would have changed my plans so I could join you. By all means, do let me know a little in advance the next time and I will come along."
The down side of that is that now they do let me know at least a day in advance so now I will have to come up with other creative excuses about why I can't go.
Good luck.   |
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it's full of stars
Joined: 26 Dec 2007
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 3:57 am Post subject: |
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Thanks Kirk and Refugee. Maybe I just need to not take this crap so personally. Pfew, weight of my shoulders until I realise I'm an uptight, highly-strung freak.
Cheers again |
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yingwenlaoshi
Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Location: ... location, location!
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 4:02 am Post subject: Re: Grabbin' your ankles |
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| it's full of stars wrote: |
Has anyone got any advice on how to go about changing a semi-functioning relationship with a SOB of a co-teacher into a functional, almost pleasant one?
It may well be that I need some advice about how to behave around my Korean co-t, admittedly I can be a pain in the ass, but I've put up with a lot since the start of contract and I want to try and move on from that.
So, any Dr. Phils out there? |
Yup. I'm a Dr. Phil in a way. But more useful.
Tell her to step off your shoes and that you're the expert. You know what you're doing. You're the English-speaking English teacher. Back off. But not in so many words. You have to let people know in an indirect way not to mess with you.
But sometimes you must be direct. YOu didn't come half-way cross the world to having sheet on your hands.
That being said, the proof is in the pudding. The better you do in the classroom, and I mean teaching and not playing hangman, the less options they have in giving you a hard time. |
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Typhoon
Joined: 29 May 2007
Location: Daejeon
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 5:19 am Post subject: |
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| Do your job to the best of your ability and don't worry about anything else. You are paid to teach not be buddy with your co-teacher. They think of you as a useless foreigner and a pain in their ass. The sooner you realize that better relationship you will have. Who freaking cares if you have a good relationship with someone you are going to work with for one probably 2 years at the most. Just do your job and don't worry about the Koreans. They will do their thing and you can do yours. |
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it's full of stars
Joined: 26 Dec 2007
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 6:02 am Post subject: |
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| Can't we all just get along? |
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R. S. Refugee
Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Location: Shangra La, ROK
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 6:24 am Post subject: |
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| it's full of stars wrote: |
| Can't we all just get along? |
I have 3 co-teachers. Two of them just let me do my thing and they go around the class looking over the students' shoulders as they are working on a handout and helping them (as do I).
The third one decides to "help" a lot more. I try to guide students down a thinking path, help them puzzle things out to arrive at the answers themselves. She, on the other hand, is too impatient for that and just tells them the answers right away that I'm trying to help them arrive at on their own. Nonetheless, I don't complain to her or even try to encourage her to do it differently. Bad co-teacher politics.
Besides that, next month Lee Myung Bak's genius idea goes into effect -- educational reform on the cheap. That is, the class size will be cut in half, I will have around 18 students per class that I will see every other week instead of every week, and I will be teaching the class by myself while the co-teacher is teaching the other half of the class in a different room.
I think this reform will be better because 36 middle school students is just too large a number to be sufficiently productive. Too many kids get slighted in that situation. Eighteen will be much more productive and I won't really miss not having co-teachers there while I teach. Sometimes, they are useful, but I will just have to learn a little classroom Korean to compensate. Obviously this reform will mean a lot more work for the co-teachers as they will have to come up with lesson plans and actively teach those new split classes. I don't expect they are too thrilled about the extra work they'll have to do.
How do you say, "Repeat after me" in hanguel mal, anyway?
Last edited by R. S. Refugee on Sat Apr 19, 2008 7:06 am; edited 1 time in total |
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ajuma
Joined: 18 Feb 2003
Location: Anywere but Seoul!!
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 6:56 am Post subject: |
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I had an experience the other day that made me realize that even the Korean teachers don't always know what's going on either! They switched the HS lunch time with the MS lunch time, so the HS lunch time was only 50 minutes instead of the usual hour. When I went to my class, there were only 2 students there...wondering where everyone else was. One of the girls said that she had just gotten an SMS saying that the rest of the class was at choir practice! I walked over with the girls to where the practice was taking place, and the teacher holding the practice told me that SHE didn't know that the time had changed!!
Now I don't feel so left out when I'm not told about changes in advance! |
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Young FRANKenstein
Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Location: Castle Frankenstein (that's FRONKensteen)
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 9:39 am Post subject: |
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| ajuma wrote: |
| Now I don't feel so left out when I'm not told about changes in advance! |
The communication between the English office and the various other department offices on campus can be atrocious at times. At my uni, it's the Chinese department and Architecture department are the worst. Prepare for class, march up 10 sets of stairs in the blazing heat and sun, arrive huffign and puffing and sweating like a pig only to find no one there.
Call the English office and ask where my students are. They call the department office who without fail say, "Oh sorry. There is a department MT / festival / soccer tournament / other lame excuse today. Sorry we forgot to tell you." This happened five times last semester with the same class of Chinese majors. FIVE times. Not counting exams and quizzes, we only meet 25-ish times as it is.
Nobody tells my office anything.
Does anyone's school/uni print up a school calendar for each semester? I find it strange that none of the unis I've worked for here have anything of the kind. Holidays and other school "holidays" seem to come up and surprise everyone. Shouldn't it be scheduled already and everyone told when everything is at the beginning of term? I know, I know, I'm sorry for using logic. |
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moosehead
Joined: 05 May 2007
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 4:01 pm Post subject: |
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| it's full of stars wrote: |
Well I am polite, more polite than most people I meet. I am always prepared for work in advance and come to work well-dresssed and clean.
I am respectful to people in work, though I have stopped saying hello (in Korean) to the older men who never said hello back. I ignore the vast majority of female staff as they act like even looking at me will impregnate them.
Apart from these minor issues I get on really well with the students and with 3 other co-teachers and the computer guy. So-like I said, I can be an asshole but I have a sneaking suspicion that at least some of the problem is generated by wrangler.
Things like not telling me that class times have been changed until the start of class (4 times last week). Not filtering down requests for paperwork until the day before it's needed (last week also), even though she knew for 2 weeks in advance, not being told about trips out with other teachers (twice, Christmas and the like) until an hour before they happen. More stuff in her dealings with me that just set my teeth on edge, but I don't want to get too detailed.
Maybe she genuinely is oblivious? Any suggestions? |
as I said previously, it probably isn't you - yes, all these things happen on a regular basis to FTs and we learn to live with it and deal with it the best way we can.
personally, I don't jump at last minute requests, I don't care HOW many temper tantrums are thrown, if it's that important, it deserves my careful and thoughtful consideration and Friday pm is not the time for that.
sounds like you are doing fine  |
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Draz
Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Location: Land of Morning Clam
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 6:12 pm Post subject: |
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| R. S. Refugee wrote: |
Besides that, next month Lee Myung Bak's genius idea goes into effect -- educational reform on the cheap. That is, the class size will be cut in half, I will have around 18 students per class that I will see every other week instead of every week, and I will be teaching the class by myself while the co-teacher is teaching the other half of the class in a different room. |
Link to the thread where people are discussing this? |
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