ryouga013
Joined: 14 Sep 2007
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 Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 7:16 am Post subject: Pod people, Korea |
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bored and having a small bout of insomnia I found this...
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LF mate to begin repopulating Earth - m4w - 23 (Gwangju-Gyeonggi)
Reply to: [email protected]
Date: 2008-03-20, 10:40PM KT
If you are reading this you may have already noticed our species faces a very real and looming threat. A threat only more silent than it is damning. I am talking of course about the pod people who have invaded our planet, who live among us, and are slowly turning us.
You can recognize them from their their stolid faces, their rigid gait, and their noxious diet. They sometimes try to conceal their lack of emotion by forcing it. This is most easily seen by the females when they giggle at anything. Don't be fooled, pod people cannot discern humor. The males tend to imbibe alcohol until they lose all motor functions, thus contorting their facial muscles into smiles or uncontrollable crying. This is simply a motor reflex, not emotion.
Due to the density of numbers, I believe South Korea may be ground zero. Yet be warned, the problem is not simply a matter of nationality. There are many South Koreans who are still human, and conversely many 'waegs' that have been turned. I had a good Canadian friend. Then he started dating a pod person. The next week when I saw him he was smiling less, boorishly shoving strangers on the subway, and eating only pickled food. He had been replaced by a soulless carbon copy. I had no choice but to asphyxiate him with a running fan. My autopsy reports have confirmed that pod people can only respirate in deathly still air, which is why they fear the fans so much. It may be their only weakness.
Every day I live in fear. Sleeping only during the day with six fans running at a time. I am unsure how far the Doppelganger Menace has spread outside of the borders. However, I'm not waiting until humanity hits the event horizon to take action. I'm calling out for someone to preemptively begin repopulating the Earth and possibly raising an army for a resistance movement.
If you feel like you have what it takes to be half of humanity's last hope please contact me. We can start slow, meet for coffee, share jokes to confirm humanity, discuss our DNA compatibility, cuddle up and watch The Omega Man, you know, casual pre-apocalyptic dating norms.
Anxiously waiting your distress signal.
P.S. You can be Korean, just please don't be a pod person. Or a dude. |
http://seoul.craigslist.co.kr/msr/612369014.html |
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