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Michael N
Joined: 08 May 2008
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 Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 2:00 pm Post subject: How easy/difficult is it to meet people? |
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I'm starting to think very seriously about teaching in Korea. I'd most likely be working for Avalon in the Seoul area, possibly Bundang, though preferably inside Seoul itself if I can get it. My main concern is meeting people -- I know Avalon puts you in an apartment by yourself, so my fear is going over there and winding up friendless in a strange country. I'm not exactly cripplingly shy, but I'm not super-outgoing either (ie. I'm definitely not the type who could just walk into a pub and start making friends with random strangers).
What's everyone's experience with this? Are there a lot of opportunities to make friends over there, or is it tough? |
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Draz
Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Location: Land of Morning Clam
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| Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 2:48 am Post subject: |
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| I'm not the type to make friends with random strangers either, but in Korea I end up making friends with random strangers every time I go out. |
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bettyspaghetti
Joined: 28 Apr 2008
Location: Seoul (Mokdong)
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| Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 3:18 am Post subject: Get on facebook... |
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| There are many groups there like Seoul Circle- they have get togethers and stuff. I even found one group just for expats in my neighborhood called "I live in Mokdong". |
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Yaya
Joined: 25 Feb 2003
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 3:47 am Post subject: |
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It shouldn't be too hard to hook up with other expats and Koreans. I certainly advise not getting too involved with your students for ethics reasons, but most people I've met say one of the best things about Korea is the chance to easily meet other peeps.
It sure as hell is easier than in the U.S. |
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Atavistic
Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.
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| Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 5:22 am Post subject: |
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| It's easier to meet people here than in the US, but I have the same number of close friends here as I had back home. I have no interest in making situational, transitional friends. |
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moosehead
Joined: 05 May 2007
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| Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 5:34 am Post subject: |
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| Atavistic wrote: |
| It's easier to meet people here than in the US, but I have the same number of close friends here as I had back home. I have no interest in making situational, transitional friends. |
uh, not to be a party pooper but life is sometimes considered a transition, that is, a long life can be full of changes. our friends will change as we change. it's how it works.
ever heard the one about the willow tree bending in the wind? it's very true. I have friends I haven't seen in 2 decades but when I asked for a favor, it wasn't a problem. I have friends in several countries, I might not see for years, if ever again. But I know we are still friends. I have friends going back nearly 4 decades, but that doesn't stop me from making new friends.
Just a couple of weeks go I met someone on a bus and we immediately became friends - but she's leaving K in a couple of months. Did I say hey what the heck, can't be your friend? no, not at all.
there's an old country song about when I get old, just give me one good friend. it's true.
we can know a lot of people, but friends are rare. don't decide ahead of time what situation can make a friend, just be open to friendships and see how much further you will get. those unworthy will fade away and the good ones are there to stay.  |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994
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| Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 2:53 pm Post subject: |
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| I have no interest in making situational, transitional friends. |
There are quite a few people with this attitude. I've always thought of it as a 'small town attitude'. Having taught in a small high school for quite awhile, I saw it on a regular basis. New kid moves in and has trouble making friends because everyone else already has a social circle.
I agree with moosehead: "don't decide ahead of time what situation can make a friend, just be open to friendships and see how much further you will get".
My advice is to come prepared to spend a lot of time alone--meaning make plans for hobbies you can do alone. The reality of our situation is that we can't communicate very well with most of the people around us even though they are good people. Social isolation is one of the biggest problems we have here. As a result, we spend more time alone than we might prefer. Have hobbies to fill the time, put yourself in situations where you can meet people--join clubs, churches or classes and don't over-look opportunities. |
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Atavistic
Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.
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| Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 3:14 pm Post subject: |
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OK, let me be clearer since reading between the lines didn't happen.
I have made tons of situational friends. I remain friends with ONE person from high school, ONE from grad school, none from either of my other two colleges. I have a friend in Sweden that I haven't seen in years, haven't written in months, but I know we're still great friends. I have made friends here--Korean and foreign--that I know I'll have to leave soon. I made one very recently, but I know we'll stay in touch.
So to be perfectly clear: that was my "nicer" way of saying "I meet more people here, but I wouldn't be friends with most of them, here or back home."
You know how those "we should all smile at each other because we're foreigner" threads come up from time to time? I'm in the "just because we're foreign doesn't mean we have to be friends or smile some sort of secret code smile" camp. |
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