Korean Job Discussion Forums

[blurgalurgalurga]

I found this list on the internet. I've bolded the ones that are especially useful for office workers and teachers.

http://artlung.com/smorgasborg/how_to_tick_people_off.shtml

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

And now, the Game! Simply add one to the list.

My contribution, specific to Korea:

Whenever anyone says the word 'korea' quickly say 'japan is better.'

[5600]

Purposely give a guy the wrong directions.

Walk around with a couple of socks in your pants.

Stand on the corner and point up in the sky and watch people look.

[Janny]

Page yourself over the Intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.

Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

When the money comes out of the ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"

Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we have to let one of you go."

[browneyedgirl]

Play Super Junior music

[semi-fly]

[poet13]

Tap your foot. Don't stop. Even when a Korean tells you to.

[Fishead soup]

Do up your top button and pull up your pants really high.

Walk around with your hands permanently in your pockets

Go to art gallery openings and get drunk on the complimentary wine.

Go to the Three Alley Pub with a food you've bought from a street vender.

Go to a makoli bar alone in Insadong order the biggest bowl of makoli and refuse to order food.

[cangel]

Tell someone on Dave's that, "homestays are for suckers," apologize publically and be rewarded with a 30-day holiday...

[Fishead soup]

Tell people you have absolutely no interest in teaching whatsoever. You're only interested in the money. Your main reason for coming to Korea was stimulated by the lax standards in public schools and how easy the job is to get.

Tell them you have no interest whatsoever in learning Korean and that you expect Koreans to learn English. Not for their future goals but primarily for your own convienience.So that you don't have to learn their language.

Also tell them you have no interest in Korean culture. It's meerly a stopover spot to make lots of cash so you can visit more stimulating cultures in South East Asia.

Tell them you don't want to visit a Korean temple and they've all started to look the same after the third one and why would you want to travel two hours to see someting that is basically just a reconstruction of something that has been distroyed countless time in history.

Tell them you like American beef better than Korean beef. Bulgogi is sliced too thin and they use way too much soy sauce. Kinchi is not good for you because it contains too much sodium and will cause your blood pressure to skyrocket. Koreans just burn beef anyways so why eat it when you can get it properly cooked in the US.

Tell them you would never buy a Korean product and LG stands for Local Garbage. Say that Dokto belongs to Japan and there are so many islands that are much more beautiful in Thailand that you wouldn't waste money on local vacations when the beaches and the babes are better in Pinoy.

[blurgalurgalurga]

Preface every sentence with 'this is your captain speaking.' Finish every statement with 'word to your moms, i come to drop bombs.'

[Fishead soup]

Hidden microphone and amphlifier affixed to you pants to create loud farts in public.

[blurgalurgalurga]

1) Hunt for opportunities to quote 'the Purpose Driven Life.'

Example:

A--Wow, I feel like burnt ass today.
B--Well, the Purpose Driven Life says...(insert drivel here).
A--Bummer, my dog just got run over by Osama Bin Laden.
B--Well, the Purpose Driven Life says...(inject pap here).
A--The voices in my head demand I bite your nose off.
B--Perhaps that is my Purpose. After all, the Purpose Driven Life says eeeeeeeeeeeennnyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgleargleargle.

2) Write like Schertzer.

[R-Seoul]

Post a tired list on an internet forum, that everyone else received via chain mail in 2001.

[Underwaterbob]