Korean Job Discussion Forums

[behindtheveil]

OK what's exactly the general rule on paying for dates. If I (a man) take a Korean girl out I'm assuming it's expected that i pay for the first date. After that what? At what point do things become more fair? I'd like to here everyone's personal experience. And maybe girls that have dated Korean guys what have they done?

[mehamrick]

[mikowee]

I tried to pay on the first date with my gf, but she would have none of it. I've paid a few times since then, but it's been mostly on her. Just as well, since she makes a lot more money than I do.

Just pay for the first date, then use your judgement to gauge what's fair the rest of the way. Even if your date has money to toss around, at least reach for your wallet.

[TiGrBaLm]

I've learned that, if they pay for you, it most certainly means that they do not want to see you again.

I've had too many of those experiences and have pretty much given up on women here.

[JMO]

I've paid the last few times I've been on dates, but they were students and have next to zero cash. When I went out with a pharmacist we split it. Depends on who has the most money in my opinion, or otherwise choose somewhere where she/he can afford to split it. I'd rather go somewhere nice and pay.

[Paji eh Wong]

D.O.W. (Depends On Woman)

Generally, you do a little negotiation dance with the lady involved. I usually pick up the first (or more expensive) cost, and then let her get the next one. Most women are fine with that arrangement. I avoid women who expect you to pay for everything, but its up to you.

[Atavistic]

I'm a chick.

In the States, men always paid for every day till we reached "exclusive" status. Then, usually was back and forthing. One guy, however, paid for everything. Everything. All of the time, including vacations and the like. (I was also 10 years younger than him and a public school teacher, which may have had something to do with it.)

I have gone on many dates in Korea but only "exclusively" dated one man. We mostly take turns, too. He's a student. Of course, all entertaining is done at my place, which jacks up his time factor considerably (since we live about an hour and 20 mins apart).

But a man should ALWAYS pay for ALL of the first date. I prefer they do so until we're exclusive, obviously.

[kermo]

I'm not Korean, and I may not be typical, but I don't like the shelling-out to be one-sided, even on the first date. It's nice for him to offer, but I'm happy to fork out. If he lets me go on buying and buying... that's bad form and not a promising sign of a healthy, reciprocal relationship.
e.g.,
We take turns buying rounds (if we're in a bar)
If he gets the movie tickets, I'll get the popcorn.

If I'm really not into someone, I'll probably insist on just paying for my own. That would be the only "kiss of death."

[buffygrrl1]

guys should pay...sorry. at least the first few dates. DO NOT EVER ask a girl to split the cost with you. If she wants to she will! I refuse to go out with guys that bust out with the whole "I paid for the dinner so you should pay for the movie"...on the first date! How about you don't do anything expensive on the first couple of dates? Go grab some coffee or something...its easier to get to know each other that way. Or go cook her dinner or something like that. Girls really do take you for granted if you spend too much money on them.

[kermo]

[seoulshock]

[buffygrrl1]

the first few dates they should pay... i thought they were trying to impress the girls? like i said you don't even have to pay anything if you go to the park and get to know each other. those dates are better anyway.

[mikekim]

I feel like I'm paying for sex, if I buy a girl dinner.

[Alyallen]

I prefer to split the bill right down the middle or take turns paying.

I don't think men should have to pay for first dates. If I did, I might as well think that he should ask me out first, make the first move and make the first call after the first date.

Seriously....it's 2007. Get with it, ladies!

[Atavistic]