Korean Job Discussion Forums

[chapter]

I've been invited to a Korean wedding and have no idea what to expect...

Anyone shed some light on what I'm in store for?

[Yu_Bum_suk]

Bring an envelope with cash - I think W30,000 is the going rate for an aquantance. You might want to load a new video game onto your phone in case you end up seated somewhere with no one to talk to.

[seoulsucker]

Boy oh boy, are you in for a treat.

As another poster put it, the wedding is more like a fundraiser for the couple. There is no solemnity whatsoever, people will probably talk, cackle, and bicker during the ceremony, chow down and leave.

The ceremony should last about 20 minutes, with the buffet and cash grab taking up the majority of the time. Get in, greet the couple, drop your cash, sign off on the deposit, and bail.

[JJJ]

I went to one last year. I bought a $50 gift basket of his and hers stuff from the Face Shop, I believe. You should have seen the look on the envelope collector's eyes when I handed him that. He had no clue what to do with it.

I just thought they would have more use and get some fun out of the items I purchased rather than just giving them 30 bucks. Nope, no appreciation at all. No thanks, thank you note or anything.

I won't go to another wedding. 30 min. of people yapping away during the ceremony, lots of people showing up with t-shirts, ball caps and jeans (while I wore a cool suit), phones ringing all during the vows and people running to the rather low quality buffet to get their free meal and all the Hite and soju they could drink in 30 min.

It's one of those things you can say you did but never do again.

[orosee]

...as are most Asian weddings. If you can, bring a friend so you have someone to talk to and keep you entertained. Eat plenty (at least twice the value of your "gift"). Have your photo taken with the couple.

Check your table's position to find out where you rank as a friend (actually frieds of the couple are usually far in the back; the front tables being reserved for family and friends of the parents/influential people).

If it is not too late, you can make plans for the evening as the whole thing is over in 2-3 hours.

Still fun if there's nothing else to do on that day.

EDIT: Or, go alone and see if you can chat up some of the bored girls that hand around. Often there are nieces, cousins, friends... If you happen to be the only foreigner there it shouldn't be so hard to attract some attention.

[Newbie]

[orosee]

[Oreovictim]

Call me antisocial, but I don't care for American weddings. Give me a short Korean ceremony over some long, drawn-out wedding. I don't like American receptions, either. Blah-blah YMCA song and dance, blah-blah best man speech, blah-blah. I'm sure that a Korean wedding is a lot cheaper, too.

BTW, for all you folks who married in Korea, how much did you pay?

[Gollywog]

Actually, I don't like American or Korean weddings. I didn't even particularly like my own wedding. And, fortunately, I got food poisoning or something the night before my father's wedding, so I got excused (re-marriage, of course).

I think a wedding should be a small, quiet affair with only close friends, at most. Better yet, if you are in love, don't even bother getting married. And if you aren't in love, you shouldn't bother getting married, either, of course, because if will save you the trouble of getting a divorce.

My advice, skip the Korean wedding. I went to one, and it will remain in my memory as one of the more unpleasant experiences here in Korea. Unless you are a close personal friend of the bride or groom, you should not feel obliged to attend.

Why were you invited?

Think of it this way: If you weren't invited, and all the other folks at school were, how would you feel?

Chances are, you were invited to be polite. If you attend, they will probably be surprised, if they notice you at all. If you don't attend, no one's feelings will be hurt. Do not expect any thank you note for your shakedown payment, either.

So, just say thank you for the invitation, you are honored, but you have other plans.

Perhaps you could find some Korean wedding videos on youtube, if you are really curious.

[aka Dave]

When I look back on all the weddings I've attended, regardless of the country, I'd say they're an unnecessary evil.

[milspecs]

cell phones ringing during the ceremony, people talking, going in and out of the wedding area, people smoking in the back, eating at a buffet with guests from other weddings... but its all over relatively quickly and the food is good

they also shoot out fog from the stage when the couple walks down from the aisle. at least 2/4 ive been to did that

[Gollywog]

Yeah, the fog machine. Or dry ice. Or I think both, in different places and different points of the festivities.

For someone who hasn't been to a Korean wedding, try imagining a cross between a bar mitzvah reception and a strip club.

Actually, you could make a pretty good bar mitzvah if you cloned a few elements from the Korean wedding, and a few from the strip club.

"Today, my son, you are a man."

"Hey, cool, dad!"


_____

ABIS

[Rutherford]

My hogwan goes on a fieldtrip about once a month. It's funny because usually we'll go somewhere fairly cool (park, farm, sledding once, etc.) where we'll do whatever activity is done there for half an hour, then spend two eating lunch and taking pictures. Thousands of pictures. The whole thing is just a big photo-op for the parents who are too busy to take their kids to the park themselves. I thought this could have just been my hogwan until I went to my first wedding.

My highlight was when the bride started crying halfway through the ceremony and an emergency makeup technician was dispatched up to the alter to fix her face. Overall it was a good time. The whole deal took less than two hours and the buffet had smoked salmon.

I thought Koreans' photo habits were strange until I went to Vietnam and saw the crowds of chubby western tourists pointing their thousand dollar lenses in the face of some poor farmer walking his buffaloes home like it's going to make the cover of national geographic. At least Koreans mostly photograph themselves.