View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
mishlert

Joined: 13 Mar 2003 Location: On the 3rd rock from the sun
|
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Stormy

Joined: 10 Jan 2008 Location: Here & there
|
Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:55 pm Post subject: |
|
|
"Whatever is a woman's way of saying *beep* you". Pretty true that one. |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Young FRANKenstein

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Location: Castle Frankenstein (that's FRONKensteen)
|
Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 6:28 pm Post subject: |
|
|
It's an old bit of humor that's made its rounds on the Internet going on 15 years or so:
A Woman's Dictionary
1. "Fine"
This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. (NEVER use "fine" to describe how she looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)
2. "Five minutes"
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so women feel that it's an even trade.
3. "Nothing"
"Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."
4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows) This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over "Nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "Fine."
5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows) this is NOT permission, either. It means, "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
6. "Loud Sigh"
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing!."
7. "Soft Sigh"
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.
8. "Oh"
This word - followed by any statement - is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days. ("Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie). Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead," sometimes followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.
9. "That's Okay"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." Once she has had time to plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.
10. "Please Do"
This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."
11. "Thanks"
The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome."
12. "Thanks A Lot"
"Thanks A Lot" is dramatically different from "Thanks." A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by the "Loud Sigh." This signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing". |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
uberscheisse
Joined: 02 Dec 2003 Location: japan is better than korea.
|
Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 7:08 pm Post subject: |
|
|
i would argue that "whatever" means something more along the lines of
"i realize that you're right" or "you have a legitimate beef with me/my behavior that i should address". interchangeable.
(continued)
"you have a better argument. but i will choose to pretend that i don't realize you're right, because i simply can't stand being wrong. my FATHER never told me i was was wrong, and as punishment i will withhold this (point to breasts and vagina) for about a week until i feel i really want you to touch them. after said touching, i will break down and admit that you were right. it seems impractical, but i am a woman." |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Stormy

Joined: 10 Jan 2008 Location: Here & there
|
Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 7:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
uberscheisse wrote: |
i would argue that "whatever" means something more along the lines of
"i realize that you're right" or "you have a legitimate beef with me/my behavior that i should address". interchangeable.
(continued)
"you have a better argument. but i will choose to pretend that i don't realize you're right, because i simply can't stand being wrong. my FATHER never told me i was was wrong, and as punishment i will withhold this (point to breasts and vagina) for about a week until i feel i really want you to touch them. after said touching, i will break down and admit that you were right. it seems impractical, but i am a woman." |
Whatever. |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
jajdude
Joined: 18 Jan 2003
|
Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 2:18 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Hopefully it's "sure, I'd love to." |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
nolegirl
Joined: 17 Apr 2008
|
Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 3:21 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Well why do men always ask whats wrong when they know what they did wrong, are you that dense? Thats when we say "nothing is wrong" b/c were thinking does he really not realize what he did wrong, does he have a brain.
I do say whatever and fine alot know that i think about it. Never a good sign |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Young FRANKenstein

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Location: Castle Frankenstein (that's FRONKensteen)
|
Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 6:30 pm Post subject: |
|
|
nolegirl wrote: |
Well why do men always ask whats wrong when they know what they did wrong, are you that dense? |
Guess what? Sometimes men don't actually do anything wrong. |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
nolegirl
Joined: 17 Apr 2008
|
Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 7:27 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Quote: |
Guess what? Sometimes men don't actually do anything wrong. |
Yes you do, fine, whatever and btw I have a very long exagerrated sigh right now......... which means your in HUGE trouble, this would be a good time to leave the room before I start throwing stuff at your head. I resort to violence always, good make up sex though!!  |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
|