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Death in Family Not a Reasonable Excuse...
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Tristan



Joined: 02 May 2008
Location: Seoul, South Korea

PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:26 pm    Post subject: Death in Family Not a Reasonable Excuse... Reply with quote

I'm pretty passionate about South Korea and its culture in many ways. I came here two years ago looking for a positive experience. Though a lot of time has passed and I've become somewhat jaded, I've learned to maintain a balanced perspective on the simple differences I've encountered with Korean co-workers. I have encountered many scenarios that seem absolutely ridiculous to me and wouldn't even be considered a subject of controversy or conflict back home. Throughout it all I've managed to weather the storm but this past week I was finally able to accept the fact that there are just some things I will never see eye to eye with a Korean on - regardless of how balanced my perspective is.

My best friend recently had a death in her family. It was someone very close and dear to her. She found this news out on Sunday and was completely (and understandably) grief stricken. She works at a hagwon, that is pretty busy at the moment, because their intensive summer camp starts on Monday. On Monday morning, at 7 am (3 hours before her classes started) she called in and told the head teacher that she wouldn't be able to come in. She thoroughly explained the situation - though, in any other rational case you wouldn't actually have to meticulously explain your abscence in the even of a family member's death. The head teacher's only response was:

"Oh.....but it's summer camp...."

My friend went on to tell her she would be using one of the 10 days off she is entitled to in her contract to recover, emotionally, from what had happened and that she just couldn't imagine coming into work.

After a little more of a guilt trip the head teacher finally relented and let her off. Later a head teacher at my school (my friend's school is a smaller branch of mine) received a call from her head teacher. She was asked to knock on my friend's door to see what was up with her. That alone is WRONG on so many levels. The foreign head teacher here refused to do so.

My friend received calls throughout the day from the head teacher and finally picked up. She confirmed, under pressure, that she would do her best to come into work the next day.

Problem solved right? WRONG. My friend comes in the next day and is ushered into an office with the head teacher and her boss. They have a long discussion about what is considered acceptable and unacceptable behavior for a teacher and that the death of her family member did not justify a day off. The director considered giving her a letter of "warning" but was talked out of it by the head teacher who was "watching out for her."

1.) She was entitled to days off in her contract - including sick days
2.) She had a death in her family.
3.) The family member was extremely close to her.

What is so hard to understand about this? They did not express any compassion in the matter whatsoever and proceeded to tell her that she was wrong for taking the day off when the intensive summer camp was just starting. I am absolutely incapable of seeing this from their perspective. The sad thing is...they were able to cover her classes without a problem...
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bassexpander



Joined: 13 Sep 2007
Location: Someplace you'd rather be.

PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simple... tell them that they have no choice, and if they get nasty about, remind them that the labor board would side with her on this issue.

The school will NOT want the labor board involved.
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xingyiman



Joined: 12 Jan 2006

PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In every contract there's usually a part convering unexpected calamities and so forth. The director is just being a tard.
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cdninkorea



Joined: 27 Jan 2006
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 11:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Things like these used to surprise me.

Then I found myself surprised that I was no longer surprised by them.

Now I'm no longer surprised that I'm no longer surprised by them.

Have I reached Terminal Pessimism about Korea?
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jdog2050



Joined: 17 Dec 2006

PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 11:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

cdninkorea wrote:
Things like these used to surprise me.

Then I found myself surprised that I was no longer surprised by them.

Now I'm no longer surprised that I'm no longer surprised by them.

Have I reached Terminal Pessimism about Korea?


God, me too...there's zero surprise in my brain right now. In fact, I could have predicted the contents of the post just off the title. Hagwon directors blow. Game over.
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R-Seoul



Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Location: your place

PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 12:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It surprises me! A lot in fact. I remember when the mother in law of an employee died at my company his entire team took the day off to attend the all day funeral.
Another time an employee's husband died quite suddenly, my boss told her to come back when she was up to it, the employee wanted to come back after a couple of days - my boss refused and told her to take the whole week off.
Major difference was that I didn't work for some fly by night hagwan but for a multinational.

The way your friend is being treated has absolutely nothing to do with Korean culture, her boss is an arsehole - you meet them the world over.
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fortysixyou



Joined: 08 Jun 2006

PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 12:01 am    Post subject: Re: Death in Family Not a Reasonable Excuse... Reply with quote

Tristan wrote:
Later a head teacher at my school (my friend's school is a smaller branch of mine) received a call from her head teacher. She was asked to knock on my friend's door to see what was up with her. That alone is WRONG on so many levels.





Dude, one time I called in sick to the HR guy where I work and he showed up at my door hours later. It was really creepy.

After a few minutes I answered the door.

He asked what I was doing, and I said, "sleeping."

He then looked puzzled and said, "I thought you were really sick," to which I replied, "I am."

He explained that he was in the neighborhood and wanted to check on me. Nice thought, but why the skepticism? Couldn't he have called to check on me?

It was a total invasion of privacy, not to mention a clear indication of the school's lack of trust for foreigners.

BOTTOM LINE:

Koreans don't call in sick unless it's a HUGE EMERGENCY. Like, "I'm dying." Or, "I'm having a baby today." or, "My entire family was wiped out by a tornado and I need one day off to go to the funeral." Anything less than that is viewed as laziness.

We wouldn't want to miss summer camp, would we? Rolling Eyes
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R-Seoul



Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Location: your place

PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 12:11 am    Post subject: Re: Death in Family Not a Reasonable Excuse... Reply with quote

fortysixyou wrote:
Koreans don't call in sick unless it's a HUGE EMERGENCY. Like, "I'm dying." Or, "I'm having a baby today." or, "My entire family was wiped out by a tornado and I need one day off to go to the funeral." Anything less than that is viewed as laziness.

Actually Koreans do sometimes call in sick but in almost every Korean company they do not receive sick days so are required to take sick leave as vacation. Seeing as most Korean staff receive very little vacation per year most drag their diseased bodies into work and infect everybody else whilst sitting at their desks doing no work.
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marlow



Joined: 06 Feb 2005

PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 12:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Everyone back to their cages.
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Tristan



Joined: 02 May 2008
Location: Seoul, South Korea

PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 12:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

cdninkorea wrote:
Things like these used to surprise me.

Then I found myself surprised that I was no longer surprised by them.

Now I'm no longer surprised that I'm no longer surprised by them.

Have I reached Terminal Pessimism about Korea?


Eh. I feel ya man. I wasn't surprised by her story but pretty infuriated nonetheless.
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Tristan



Joined: 02 May 2008
Location: Seoul, South Korea

PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 12:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

R-Seoul wrote:
It surprises me! A lot in fact. I remember when the mother in law of an employee died at my company his entire team took the day off to attend the all day funeral.
Another time an employee's husband died quite suddenly, my boss told her to come back when she was up to it, the employee wanted to come back after a couple of days - my boss refused and told her to take the whole week off.
Major difference was that I didn't work for some fly by night hagwan but for a multinational.

The way your friend is being treated has absolutely nothing to do with Korean culture, her boss is an arsehole - you meet them the world over.


Of course I wouldn't say these actions are representative of Korean culture - but I don't think this mentality can simply be pinned to her two bosses. I've worked in other hagwons that fostered a similar environment. If you're sick, drag yourself in. One Korean co-worker of mine literally fainted in a class and had to go to a hospital because she came into work sick.

Messed up right?

I've heard that Koreans don't care about deaths in the family unless it was someone in your "immediate" family. Otherwise, it couldn't possibly be serious enough to take a day off.
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ds_fan



Joined: 07 Apr 2008

PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 12:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

so if a very close family member dies and you need to return to wherever for a funeral can or cant you?

Iv heard too much crap like this, not full of the joys of spring today with korea, sick to the stomach with the place.
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Tristan



Joined: 02 May 2008
Location: Seoul, South Korea

PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 12:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ds_fan wrote:
so if a very close family member dies and you need to return to wherever for a funeral can or cant you?

Iv heard too much crap like this, not full of the joys of spring today with korea, sick to the stomach with the place.


That questions would depend on the institution you work at. Surprisingly, my friend works for a YBM owned English Village. You'd think a company so well established would have familiarized itself a little more with the Western work ethic huh?

Regardless, what if my BEST friend suddenly died? Would they be sympathetic if I had to go back Stateside to attend his funeral? Would they show any compassion for my predicament - even if the person in question is not part of my immediate family? Confused
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Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 12:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Dude, one time I called in sick to the HR guy where I work and he showed up at my door hours later.


Perhaps he was checking to see if you had skipped out to Tokyo for the day, like the poster here a couple of weeks ago who left the seminar.
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Faunaki



Joined: 15 Jun 2007

PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 12:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok I was teaching a winter camp and was totally new to the place and students so I was set up with a co-teacher. One day he came up to me and told me he had to leave early, I said no problem, what's up. He tells me his sister's kid had died in a car accident and the funeral is at 3. Holy crap! I ask him are ok you? He says, he's fine. The thing is, the guy stayed the whole time and didn't leave early. When I mentioned that I had no problems with him leaving, he told me it was his duty to stay.

My basic opinion of him was very low.
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