Korean Job Discussion Forums

[sobriquet]

A friend from back home started work at a high school for the GEPIK program earlier this year. He is a fairly straight kind of guy, early thirties, recently divorced, drinks sociably, but otherwise lives a quite life.
He attends a local church where some of his students go to as well, subsequently he has become friends with some of the student's parents and has a fairly full social life outside of working hours.

Last week he sent me a rather flustered email asking for advice - he has a female student flashing him in class.

One of the students from his church, whose parents he is friendly with, has been sitting in class, opening and closing her legs, flashing her underwear and looking at him; "making direct eye contact" were his exact words.

I emailed back asking if he was sure he hadn't made a mistake. He said that he was 100% sure of what was going on and it wasn't a one off.

It started a couple of weeks ago when he went out for dinner with her parents, her and her brother. He felt that she was watching him too closely at the meal, but put it off as curiosity.

Next week at school he caught a movement out of the corner of his eyes and it was the girl, opening and closing her legs, with her skirt pulled up a bit. So that her panties were showing, when she opened them.
He said that he moved so that he couldn't see anything and carried on the lesson. A little flustered. He assumed that she was just doing what bored students do and a random fidget that she didn't realize she was doing.

It wasn't a one off though. Happened the next lesson and in further lessons. He knew something was not as innocent as it seemed when he caught the student's eyes and she smiled back at him.

He can't look in the area of the classroom where she sits now because she is either flashing him or staring right at him.

The poor guy is really worried. He is worried that if he stops visiting the parents and being friends with them it will cause problems later. He obviously can't say anything to the girl because he could well be wrong or she could call him a pervert.

Leaving the school isn't an option. He is financially dependent on them for now with the usual student loans to pay of back home.

He's a nice guy, probably too nice for his own good. Not sure that this isn't 100% not his fault. I suspect that he has shown interest in the girl as the daughter of his friends, which as a teenager she has misinterpreted.

I've just finished emailing him and was quite amused by the story again that I thought it was worth sharing. I've read about things like this happening in schools back home, but never in Korea.

[plynx]

i hope this doesn't come out the wrong way, but this story isn't amusing at all. in fact, it could get your friend in A LOT of trouble if the student keeps acting in this manner- and don't forgoet her subsequent reactions to him fending her off. provocation or no, it is your friend's responsibility to protect himself in this situation by figuring out a way to combat this behavior, while making it clear that he in no way encouraged it. best of luck to him.

[EricaSmile84]

Tell him to talk to a female teacher and tell her that some girls aren't wearing shorts under their skirts (which they should be) and they are being too comfortable in the class and unknowingly exposing themselves. Maybe they can have a uniform check everyday to make sure no one shows their business. I work at an all girls school and the girls don't always "sit like ladies"... the good thing is that they all have shorts on underneath so it's not too uncomfortable to tell them to sit nicely.

[EricaSmile84]

[Yu_Bum_suk]

Tell your 'friend' to stop the class, look directly at her, and yell at her 'Will you sit properly?!'. If she continues all of her classmates will clue in to what she's doing and she'll most likely stop it right away; and everyone will know it was something she was purposely doing to annoy him if the issue ever comes up again.

[sobriquet]

^^I've suggested that.

He is worried that by moving her it will attract attention to the fact that it has been going on.

He said she sits three seats back from the front, right or left side, but next toaisle, so there aren't really any students directly in the way from where his desk is.

So as I imagine it you are looking down the classroom, she would be three seats back on one of the sides, but inside not the wall. That is right in the central area of where your eyes would be in a classroom environment.

I understand how flustered he is, I remember when the girls at school used to tease him and how red he would go. I couldn't help but laugh when I read the email. I can picture him still, bright red, looking really uncomfortable and trying to find a way to get out of the situation.


I'll pass on the advice again. I suggest he wore an eye-patch over his eye to reduce the peripheral vision, he didn't find that very funny.

[poet13]

Definitely not something to keep secret. Secrets of any sort when they come out have a way of just seeming wrong. I would tell a female coteacher and ask her to sort it out. I don't think I would shame the girl in front of the class though. Enemy for life, and with one word to the parents, you're finished. At least if the coteacher has been made aware, your friend can refer the parents to her if there's ever a question.

[sobriquet]

[spliff]

Tell ur friend the next time it happens just scream out-loud "Dong Dae Myung"

I used to have the same problem w/ college students in Thailand. After a wile you learn just to ignore it. Once the students perceive that you aren't looking and are not interested, they will stop. At least your friend's lucky the students wear underwear.

[Cornfed]

I don't get why this should be seen as such a big deal. Perhaps tell her to stop doing it in the manner suggested, but otherwise just stop being a *beep* and ignore it and she'll likely stop on her own accord.

[Rumple]

As has been suggested already in this thread, I'd take a behaviorist approach to the whole thing.

She's obviously getting something out of it. She's seeing him look flustered, which means he obviously cares about what's going on. I don't know if your friend could manage this, but I'd look her right in the eye, with a dull, bored look on my face (being careful not to let my gaze drop to what she's trying to show me), and keep right on teaching. After she spreads a few times (or maybe even a dozen) and doesn't get a reaction, she'll likely quit.

[DrunkenMaster]

What would Grotto do?

[Bigfeet]

Sounds like she's seen Less Than Zero.

I'd just ignore it and act like nothing is going on. She'll get bored eventually and move on.

[R-Seoul]

I wish I had your friends problems.

[mj roach]

the next time she does it...

have her stand up for the remainder of the class

if she continues the following class...

move her to the back of the room and out of 'sight line'