Korean Job Discussion Forums

[MUOhio82]

I've been here about 4 months, and have generally had no problems. For the most part I'm pretty laid back, I like to just watch and observe this insane culture around me, and I just kind of roll with it. I tend not to get wound up over much, and as long as I do my own thing, I'm pretty good with life.

That said, I was at Home Plus, minding my own business, and buying my tuna and bananas, when from out of nowhere some crazy old lady looks straight at me, aims her shopping cart at me, and blows into my thighs full force. I look at her, she looks right back, and I reached out my hand and shoved her cart into a shelf full of Ramen.

And with that, my Korean honeymoon ended.

[Ya-ta Boy]

That sounds about par. Something similar has happened with most of us and right around that time frame.

The trick now is to get control of yourself and not go to the other extreme. More than once I've been in the middle of doing something out and about and have noticed that I'm irritable and acting childish. At that point I stop what I'm doing and go home and take a nap. Other people head for the gym or whatever. Whatever you do, don't let yourself dwell on the irritations. Focus on the good things and keep a perspective. Look for humor in situations--it's a good weapon.

And before anyone flames me for being pollyannaish, just keep in mind that what we choose to think about has a powerful influence on our emotions. Take the saddest event in your life and think about it for 5 minutes and watch the changes in your body, then switch to a happy memory. You can feel the difference. It's simple cognitive psych.

Life shouldn't be about what 'they' do--that's playing the victim card; life is what you do.

[Ya-ta Boy]

PS: Good luck.

[Pooty]

Most people come to Korea thinking that because they're not Korean, they'll be treated differently. It's just not gonna happen. Think about it...did you change your behaviors back home towards someone from another country? No. Same applies here.

My advice? Relish the opportunity. Run into them as often as you can. The body contact will release your stress. I hit people every day, and I love it. It's like playing sports all over again. The trick is to make it look like you're not paying attention, so they think you didn't do it on purpose. If they think that you're doing it on purpose, they'll get upset. Also, if you're a woman - try to put a heavy, sharp object in your bag and use that to hit them with. Don't hit people in reaction, rather - choose random people to hit.

If you're a male, and you're not one of those willow-waif types - use your shoulders, trust me - once you get over the initial guilt - it's a wonderful and refreshing high.

[Passions]

[Leslie Cheswyck]

C'mon, man, there's shoving and there's shoving. Was on the train once, seated while chatting with my friend (who was standing ha ha) when this ajoshi felt it was his prerogative to bowl over as many people as he could on his way to the exit, my friend included. (This went way beyond the normal, and locally accepted jostling here.) Korean and foreigner alike, we all had this WTF look on our faces.

We could obviuosly determine that this guy was your garden variety asshole, but only because he bumped into Koreans as well. It's never easy to tell what the motivation is when you are the one singled out.

[Pooty]

You gotta start thinking like they do. You're the most important person on the subway, sidewalk, aisle, elevator, etc. You're the one in a hurry to get to an appointment, office, shopping, whatever, because your time is the most important thing in the world. Everyone else doesn't matter, because it's all about you. If you can project this image, you've won the game in this country.


The only exception you should be making to Pooty's rule is for other westerners...they don't count.


You gotta strike when the moment is right without thinking. And after a while, you can work on points for style.

[Whistleblower]

The rudest behaviour that I have encountered here was the time I was on the subway during a short holiday in Korea during 2003.

I was sitting down and my wife was standing in front of me and this Korean, in his 50's, boarded. The entire seat was full and sure enough this guy came up to me, squeesed his arse between my butt cheek and the other person's sitting next to me and popped me out of my seat. I was left standing looking at this guy whilst he occupied my seat. My wife was so angry and I felt embarrassed as all people were staring at this guy and me.

I was young and didn't know this culture that much, on a holiday and wasn't able to communicate in Korean like I am now but if possible I would have really chucked him out my seat. Nowadays, I haven't seen this type of behaviour on subways and accept that it is better now.

[sojourner1]

What is up with all the pushing, shoving, and grunting? It's the same in small towns, but not such a crush of people like you got in Seoul. In small town, you're just dealing with old farts and then it doesn't matter much. They will always try to get in front of you in a store check out line even though you're right at the clerk and she's already picking up your 1st item to be scanned. I just push them out of the way and they don't say or do jackshit about it as it's OK.

When getting on and off buses, people have no respect, they just push and cause things to be slower by not allowing peoples legs and feet to have adequate room to work. I think it's quite retarded. The Koreans are known worldwide to have this issue of rudeness, but yet come off as gentle kind people in most cases when you know them. When you know someone, they tend not to act this way. Even when waiting to board an airplane, the guy standing behind you will push and shove. I get so pissed, because he's not getting on faster by pushing on me. I tell em' and give em' a little intimidation.

People just have no regard for those neighbors in the community they don't personally know which is why they can also throw garbage and pollution in the environment. No one cares about anything, but the themselves and the people they personally know. This is a real honeymoon breaker for most who come to Korea. Every country has it's dirty flaws.

[jkelly80]

They still have clans here. In-clan, you're ok (unless you're a daughter in law). Out-clan, you're f*cked.

Sorry to hear about your honeymoon.

[MUOhio82]

Well yea, she looked right at me as she rammed into me. I def gave the cart a full handed shove, and she just kind of locked at me, and then kept walking like nothing happened.

The pushing even bother me that much, it's the staring. It's the middle aged women looking at me like I'm a piece of dirt on their shoe. So at them I smile sweetly, give them a little air kiss, and walk away.

I'm such a jerk

[crescent]

[nobbyken]

All us westerners look the same.
Maybe she was a spurned lover from a relationship with an old teacher or soldier?

When 2 people meet, try not to let the lowest common denominator determine your behaviour.

[santafly]

I find it highly amusing when Korean friends I am walking with slam into other people on the street. They briefly stand there looking confused, unable to figure out what happened or why I am laughing. Sometimes their reaction to my laughter is "what? she hit me, I didn't hit her".

I think everyone that complains about people bumping into them should stop being such a pu$sy. Seriously, is it as bad as the Korean girls make it look by moaning and gripping the site of their injury (after they just walked into me)?

I like the staring. My left eye doesn't move left of center so it's hard for me to look at things without turning my head. Consequently, I get caught looking at women's body parts more than your average guy. Staring makes things easier. Also, if you are annoyed by someones staring all you have to do is make eye contact - they will turn away. Of course, my Korean friends keep scolding me for staring at people/talking about them because it is so rude.

[EzeWong]

Crowded cities and areas always have this bumping issue. I was so bothered by it in Hong Kong first time I went. I never take it personally though in big cities because it just happens too often.

Although I'll admit even when I'm in the suburbs and the street is completely empty I'll manage to bump into 1 ajumma because she wants to cop a feel....

My guess is, it is considered in some subtle way, losing face if you budge for the other person. Given that the people who normally do this are older, they probably feel a given right that other people will make room for them. This is how I view it at least. In a way, it makes sense because moving aside for someone else you are in a way saying "you are more important than me so I'll move out of the way." And we all understand that in Korea, face is everything...