Korean Job Discussion Forums

Starla · Joined: 06 Jun 2008 Location: Seoul

My next door neighbor, a grown woman, would be banging on the door and screaming for over half an hour in the middle of Sunday night to be let into her apartment by the man she lives with. He didn't let her in and ignored her. I've never experienced something like this in all my years of living in apartment buildings in the U.S. My other neighbor came out to talk to her and after he left, she continued to bang on the door and scream to be let in. I thought Koreans were all about saving face and even as an American, I would find this kind of situation highly embarrassing had my neighbors overheard the commotion. Please share if you've seen similar things or at least explain to me what would cause such a dysfunctional scene between a man and a woman.

wylies99 · Joined: 13 May 2006 Location: I'm one cool cat!

madoka · Joined: 27 Mar 2008

aka Dave · Joined: 02 May 2008 Location: Down by the river

Well, why is some guy trolling this website? Human behavior often defies explanation. So let's keep it simple.

They guy's a tool.

But as an American as well I have experienced something similar.

I was living in an old 1920s apartment building in Venice in L.A., a pretty rough, but very fun neighborhood. It was Saturday night, and I was going out to the bars to meet some friends.

Just as I leave my apartment I hear screams, and I mean persistent, loud screams from a woman in an apartment three doors down. Very scary screams.

Three people open their doors in the hallway. I make a phone signal to my head and mouth "911". They nod and go call. The screams continue. I go to the door and knock firmly.

Silence for a sec. I knock again and say" The cops are coming. Take it easy" or something to that effect.

The guy opens the door, he's got a lamp in his hand, and is wobbly. He was tall but kinda skinny. The girl was sitting on the bed, I think.

I just said something like "Dude, the cops are coming." And he sat down, and she just walked out.

Perceptioncheck · Joined: 13 Oct 2008

My old neighbours used to fight all freakin' night as well. They were quite young - mid twenties, perhaps - and once the screaming started up it wouldn't stop for many, many hours. The girl had an awful whiney nasal voice that could penetrate concrete walls, earplugs, pillows, duvets and anything else you care to mention. The cops used to come occasionally and would stand in the hallway smoking while the couple continued to yell at each other. Useless bastairds.

I can't begin to imagine why they were so dysfunctional or why they stayed together for so long. More importantly, I don't know why they had to take their arguments into the hall every single time.

Maybe it's Cultural.

esetters21 · Joined: 30 Apr 2006 Location: Seoul

jvalmer · Joined: 06 Jun 2003

I live on a floor with a bunch of one-room apartments. One single mother seems to live on the floor with 2 pre-elementary aged kids. Sometimes she locks them out of the room for a while late at night and the kid is screaming to get back in. Happened maybe 3 times in the last year.

In another room, a couple, maybe early 30's. A few time, they'd get into a shouting match, then the lady locks the guy out for a while. He shouts and bangs on the door begging to be let back in. Maybe 10-20-30 minutes (haven't actually timed it) passes before she lets him in. A few minutes later I hear a lot of grunting noises.

Those are my stories, just wanted to share.

Css · Joined: 27 Sep 2004 Location: South of the river

Maybe because its kind of hidden...as in not in front of your eyes..
Maybe they wouldnt fight like that if you and your neighbours were outside and watching..

Ive never understand couples that argue in public..I used to cringe so much when i saw couples fighting back home..

yingwenlaoshi · Joined: 12 Feb 2007 Location: ... location, location!

sarbonn · Joined: 14 Oct 2008 Location: Michigan

It seems that once a week, some guy in the hall starts pounding on the door down the hall from me. And it goes on for about an hour and a half before it finally stops. It wouldn't be such a bad thing if it didn't always start at about 2am. I never hear him say anything (although I did hear him answer his cell phone once).

Css · Joined: 27 Sep 2004 Location: South of the river

VanIslander · Posted: Mon Dec 15, 2008 3:15 am Post subject:

typical blue collar behaviour back home

"Stella, Stella! ... STELLA!"

okokok · Joined: 27 Aug 2006

Koreans don't seem to suffer from the same kind of embarassment in public/self consciousness that we westerners do. They really don't seem to care about anyone around them or what those other people think of them. You see it in situations like the OP, you see it all the time when they drive and make moronic mistakes without showing a bit of embarassment, and even in smaller situations like when they stare in the subway window for 10 minutes making sure they're hair is just perfect. There is no shame.

PeteJB · Joined: 06 Jul 2007

I've had a girl banging down my door once - Talk about embarassing.

IlIlNine · Joined: 15 Jun 2005 Location: Gunpo, Gyonggi, SoKo

Starla:

Saving face only matters to people you actually have a relationship with.

Since actually personally knowing your neighbors is pretty rare here, there's nothing preventing these kinds of displays from happening. Perhaps it's the reason why nobody knows their neighbors here .. Wink

I don't know why, but I get this feeling that your honeymoon period is coming to an end.