Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Ed Provencher]

Last night, a Korean man approached my buddy and then removed a sandle and stood there slapping the sandle on his opposite hand. Is there a special meaning to this behavior in Korea?

Here's some context. My buddy (24 years old) and I (almost 32) were sitting outside eating galbi. The people at the table next to us wanted to know how old my buddy is, so my buddy told him. I am seriously against telling Koreans what my age, occupation, or marital status is because I think it is not important. So I told these folks in Korean that age is not important. I said there are good people and there are bad people, and one's age cannot be used to predict a person's character.

While I was explaining myself, everyone at the other tables were listening. I heard someone reply that in Korea, age is important. The next moment one of the Korean men, maybe in his mid 40s, stood up and approached my friend. I didn't mind at all until he pulled his sandal off. I stood up immediately and got into his face. He grabs my arm and I said in English, don't touch me. His buddy came over and grabbed my arm too, so I told him the same thing.

The two men sat down, so I sat down, but I was angry. Did I overreact? What's with the sandal? To me, it was a clear sign of aggression.

[IncognitoHFX]

Just tell them your age next time. Who cares?

I told a random taxi driver my salary the other night. My whole school knows my age and my married status. So what?

It just saves drama.

[Hyeon Een]

It's interesting that you're studying the Korean language but refuse to accept Korean culture. I think this is the second post you've made implying that you're on a one man cultural mission to Americanize Korean culture.

Age is important here . Get used to it or go home. It isn't going to change no matter how many times you tell people that age doesn't matter. Seriously you are just going to get more and more frustrated if you go around Korea telling people that their culture is 'wrong' and then getting surprised when they get upset or rude towards you. If you want to be in a culture where age is less important than it is here I suggest North America.

The sandal thing was the other guy threatening to whack your friend with it haha.

[Eedoryeong]

I have to agree with the above replies.

However, you could mention that such information is for friends only, not for strangers. That's worked for me before.

[Ed Provencher]

Yeah, I'm banging my head on a wall.

[Hyeon Een]

[jkelly80]

Koreans have to get used to the fact that we don't want to adopt their culture, we want to experience it.

[Faunaki]

The sandal was definately a threft. You should have taken off your shirt and showed em your muscles. That would have been priceless.

[seoulsucker]

Dude, keep up this kind of attitude/behavior and you're going to see the really ugly side of Korean culture...the legal system.

I've had wonderful, engaging discussions with people in regards to the nuances and differences in Korean/American cultures, how we regard age, marriage, etc. However, this is after I had established rapport with them by abiding by the customs and playing along.

If you keep throwing it back in their faces, eventually it's going to get ugly. Kudos for making the effort to learn the language, but it's going to be a waste of time if you don't learn to use it properly.

A few weeks of studying can't combat a thousand years of engrained social behavior.

[marlow]

Really you don't need to react to random people on the street. I'd say the when in Rome thing extends as far as your friends, workplace, students and clients. Learn to say "I'm rather busy and I'd rather not chat." in Korean, and leave it at that.

[EzeWong]

Well I can see why you adamantly believe that age should not be a factor with social status. That's a good moral foundation in my mind, and in a way I admire your zeal in sticking to your guns.

However, as a moral philosopher, I believe the Korean age belief is amoral (not to be confused with immoral). There is a lot of logic and utility as a cultural belief, stemming from ancient confucious times. It puts me in a place that I can easily understand who is the higher rank. I don't have to be concerned with caluculating job title, wage, or social status. In western cultures, we see each other as equals, but we all know that people's egos create problems.

Let's take a very strange example.

We are just a tribe. Then we're invaded. Everyone disagrees on what to do. We are all fighting to become Alpha male. Meanwhile, the enemy is knocking on our doorstep we have no leader. At least with the confucious belief, the oldest man would be our leader, he has lived the longest and has the most experience.

I beleive the old addage of "the older the wiser". As much as our own society regards old people as "baggage, senile, crazy, out of times" I've learned so much from my elder neighbors and family members.

Lastly...they outnumber you, armed to the teeth with metal dinnerware, ready with cauldrons of yukgaejang, to pour onto your face. (I mean this in the literal sense they could probably do this to you at a resturant). And any one of theese guys could become a potential father in law. I'd hold my tongue. At least that way you aren't subjugating your morals, rather you are being diplomatic to not let them be known. It's just like religion or politics, never discuss it at the dinner table.

[Ed Provencher]

Thanks for everyone's comments.

Until recently, I thought learning to speak Korean was the hardest thing I've challenged myself to do. Now I believe it is learning a second culture that is the most difficult.

These passages from Principles of Language Learning and Teaching (p. 158) sum up what I've been going through.

[aldershot]

it's funny that you'd tell everyone here that you're almost 32 (what, 31 and a half?), but if a korean asks you, mums the word.

[Ed Provencher]

[PeteJB]

Can you give some demonstration of your Korean ability? I've been curious to see it.