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rubric
Joined: 28 Oct 2006
Location: Pongdongfongyong
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Gopher
Joined: 04 Jun 2005
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 Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 4:11 pm Post subject: |
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| Definitely enjoyed his concluding, and very possibly prophetic, remarks. |
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Bramble
Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Location: National treasures need homes
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 4:49 pm Post subject: |
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What a waste of time.  |
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Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:52 pm Post subject: |
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| I agree with a lot of these ideas. I think for whatever reason having relationships in North America, between North Americans seems rather complicated, and I say that when compared to dating women from other Western countries. There is much confusion, political mind-games, the overzealous feminism, the increased selfishness amongst the males and females and overfocus on the sexuality of women which degrades women and men together. However, I think part of the problem this person on the video didn't bring up is there is a general problem with many from both sexes in terms of being into commitment in terms of what they tell theri significant others. Things are based too much on the emotion of the time and good feelings rather than being true to your word like people used to do in the past. You don't hear from people "You have my word" anymore. |
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mises
Joined: 05 Nov 2007
Location: retired
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 9:14 pm Post subject: |
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| What an interesting dude. |
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aboxofchocolates
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Location: on your mind
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 10:21 pm Post subject: |
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| The link seems to be dead. Care to give a rundown? |
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Big_Bird
Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 10:35 pm Post subject: |
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| aboxofchocolates wrote: |
| The link seems to be dead. Care to give a rundown? |
You'renotmissingmuch.Itwasverydifficulttofollow.Theguydronedonandoneinamonotonousfashionanddidn'tspeakveryclearlyatall.ButIkeptcatchinglittlesnippetsabouthowtoday'swomenareoflowerqualitythanourforebears,andwearebasicallyunmariagebleandfranklyjusthorrible.Wearegoingtodieoutbecausewearenothavingenoughchildren,whichisagoodthingbyandlarge,althoughthespeakerwassorrythatthatwouldalsobringabouttheextinctionofmen.We'llallbewalkingaroundinburkasanditwillbethefeministsowndoing.
I wouldn't bother. Just good w@nking material for cornfed and his ilk. |
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Starla
Joined: 06 Jun 2008
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 6:55 am Post subject: |
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| Adventurer wrote: |
| I agree with a lot of these ideas. I think for whatever reason having relationships in North America, between North Americans seems rather complicated, and I say that when compared to dating women from other Western countries. There is much confusion, political mind-games, the overzealous feminism, the increased selfishness amongst the males and females and overfocus on the sexuality of women which degrades women and men together. However, I think part of the problem this person on the video didn't bring up is there is a general problem with many from both sexes in terms of being into commitment in terms of what they tell theri significant others. Things are based too much on the emotion of the time and good feelings rather than being true to your word like people used to do in the past. You don't hear from people "You have my word" anymore. |
You took the words out of my mouth. When many young American people hear from me that my parents have been together for 40 years and I want something like that, their mouths drop, followed by how they think no two people are meant to be together that long. The selfishness in that comment speaks volumes about the person and the culture that created that viewpoint. Its all me, me, me, now, now, now with no regard for others' feelings. Whether you'll hear from the guy again, who knows? Whether you should ask him if you will, well no, because then you're "pressuring" him and "scaring him off." Please, it's called respect and integrity. Luckily, I haven't had to play those dumb games and don't feel used anymore since I changed my dating choices. |
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Rteacher
Joined: 23 May 2005
Location: Western MA, USA
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ReeseDog
Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Location: Classified
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| Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 7:17 pm Post subject: |
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| Bramble wrote: |
| What a waste of time. |
Agreed.
Feminism is an utter waste of time. |
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Paji eh Wong
Joined: 03 Jun 2003
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| Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 4:43 am Post subject: |
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| Big_Bird wrote: |
| aboxofchocolates wrote: |
| The link seems to be dead. Care to give a rundown? |
You'renotmissingmuch.Itwasverydifficulttofollow.Theguydronedonandoneinamonotonousfashionanddidn'tspeakveryclearlyatall.ButIkeptcatchinglittlesnippetsabouthowtoday'swomenareoflowerqualitythanourforebears,andwearebasicallyunmariagebleandfranklyjusthorrible.Wearegoingtodieoutbecausewearenothavingenoughchildren,whichisagoodthingbyandlarge,althoughthespeakerwassorrythatthatwouldalsobringabouttheextinctionofmen.We'llallbewalkingaroundinburkasanditwillbethefeministsowndoing.
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You did that on purpose.
As for the vid, Jesus Christ. That guy just told us waaaaay to much about himself. |
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Don Gately
Joined: 20 Mar 2006
Location: In a basement taking a severe beating
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Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 5:24 pm Post subject: |
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| Starla wrote: |
You took the words out of my mouth. When many young American people hear from me that my parents have been together for 40 years and I want something like that, their mouths drop, followed by how they think no two people are meant to be together that long. The selfishness in that comment speaks volumes about the person and the culture that created that viewpoint. Its all me, me, me, now, now, now with no regard for others' feelings. Whether you'll hear from the guy again, who knows? Whether you should ask him if you will, well no, because then you're "pressuring" him and "scaring him off." Please, it's called respect and integrity. Luckily, I haven't had to play those dumb games and don't feel used anymore since I changed my dating choices. |
I do believe in a nutshell since the thread mentions feminism that many Western males from Australia, Britain, and the U.S. live in countries where there is such a huge percentage of single females. Obviously, there is a high percentage of females in those said countries who are not satisfied with males. Males are basically the way the good Lord created them with their imperfections and the same with the women. There is also this perception that women in the past simply uniformly settled. I disagree with that notion. Some feminists dangerously peddled, and, thus, degraded women of their parents' generation. Plenty of women in the past had many more choices than way it's been portrayed. Things were just not as direct, I am going to say.
What is your take on the information below?
MODERNRELATIONSHIPS
CPs Around the World
If you thought American women had major commitment issues, you'd be surprised to find that your girlfriends around the globe are just as stumped. Here's how some other countries stack up in the commitment department.
United States: The number of women living alone has increased more than 33 percent in the past fifteen years to 30 million, and the marriage rate in 2004 has declined nearly 50 percent since 1970, from 76.5 marriages per 1,000 unmarried women to 39.9 (State of Our Union, National Marriage Project).
Japan: The number of unmarried Japanese women ages 25 to 34 is skyrocketing, so much so that the government is enacting policies to ensure the continuation of the population. How apocalyptic! What used to be a very family-centric culture has quickly become single-minded, with a bestseller about life as a thirty-something single female, titled Howl of the Loser Dogs, flying off the shelves and Boyfriend Pillows (headrests shaped like a man's arm) selling out as quickly as they're made.
Brits: When it comes to our friends across the pond, they're taking commitment-phobia to a whole new level. With the average age of women getting married now at 32 years (Office of National Statistics, 2001), there's a reason why singleton Bridget Jones was invented here. And with a new National Singles Week holiday to call their very own, it's unlikely that the trend will reverse anytime soon.
Aussies: Australia's marriage rate is the lowest it has been in a hundred years. Nearly a third of all Australian women from 30 to 34 are single. And this from the people who brought us Muriel's Wedding?
Not your Mother's Problem
Female commitment-phobia is a relatively new phenomenon. Not to say that our mothers didn't struggle with a certain amount of anxiety, because they did, and many still do. But when it came to 'fessing up to their commitment issues, the old-girl network never stood a chance. Back then, the idea of an unmarried girl on the loose was just plain unheard of. In fact, they had another, not-so-flattering name for that type of girl.
When it came right down to it, there just wasn't any room for ambiguity or indecision. Like it or not, a woman had to maintain a certain measure of semi-respectability. Translation: get married and have kids, pronto! Those who struggled with committing usually stayed silent, sucked it up, and went through with it despite their misgivings. Our mothers just didn't have the wherewithal to defy these expectations (ever see those pouty bride photos from the old days?). Besides those awful cone-shaped bras, there was a good reason why so many of them looked so peevish.
Of course, there were a few rare exceptions. Not everyone walked gently into that good night of matrimonial bliss. There were the brazen sex-kitten screen stars such as Mae West, fiercely independent actresses like Katharine Hepburn, and unrepentant serial wedders Elizabeth Taylor and Hedy Lamarr. These feisty femmes were around kicking up a storm the whole time, but no one really noticed or cared to think about the matter much. After all, they were famous, and certain allowances had to be made for Hollywood types.
But that was then. And now? Well, we have a much bigger problem on our hands. We're still confronted with a barrage of social pressure to settle down and commit, but it's not like anyone really cares what we do anymore (save for dear old Grammy and De Beers, of course). These days women are free to choose rather than just be influenced by social pressure. We have more opportunities than ever before. We can get married, get divorced, travel the world, run a Fortune 500 company, play the field, cohabit, have kids, adopt puppies, all of the above, or none of it. It's really anyone's call.
THE CONFESSIONAL: Avery, 25
I think that women's commitment-phobia stems from not wanting to settle for something right now, especially since something better might come along. We've seen our mothers and grandmothers who did settle and are unhappy because of it. I think that one advantage of staying single is that you control your own destiny. You aren't tied to someone else who could potentially bring you down. My mother was a housewife for most of my childhood. I'm afraid of being trapped in a situation where I am just a wife/mother and feeling as though my potential is untapped. I also feel like this time in my life is about being selfish -- growing up and developing myself. If I'm not selfish now, I don't want to have a midlife crisis and be selfish later when the stakes are higher.
So what exactly is the problem? you're wondering. Before you start burning your bras and celebrating in the name of female empowerment, consider that we might have gotten more than we bargained for. With all our talk about winning the right to choose, that's exactly where the problem lies: choice and more choices! With all the emphasis on the right to choose, there's been little talk of how to choose.
The truth is many of us grew up thinking that we would one day be picked, rather than having to do the picking ourselves. Schooled in the art of capturing a man, flirting, and looking good, we never learned how to scrutinize, analyze, and evaluate the opposite sex. It was enough that he fit a standard ideal of the "right" guy -- financially secure, polite, and color-coordinated. We may have the power to make our own decisions now, but that doesn't mean we're any more equipped than our mothers to make good ones.
With so many dizzying options to pick from, today's women are far more prone to catching the commitment-phobia bug than ever before. Think about it. It's all too easy to decide on a coat of paint for your bedroom when you only have a choice of two colors. But when presented with a rainbow of equally pleasing options (caramel latte, polo blue, acorn yellow), the whole matter can become far more confusing than it needs to be. And when it comes to making a decision about love, the rest of your life, or even the next few years, it's all too easy to freak out and lose our heads. With choice comes responsibility, and that's the hardest pill of all to swallow.
If you think our mothers had it rough in that department, consider that their lack of opportunities could have been a blessing in disguise. Not that I'm proposing to go back to the old regime or anything. After all, many of our mothers are now left with the hard work of reinventing themselves after never having the opportunity to invent themselves properly in the first place. But you have to admit that life seemed a little bit easier back then. So before you start thinking about how much luckier you are than dear old Mom, stop to consider that our freedom exacts its own price, and its name is commitment-phobia. While your mom may wonder what it is like to be in your shoes every now and then, rest assured she's also pretty damn glad she isn't.
THE DOCTOR IS IN
Parents who got divorced can have a very big impact on women in terms of fear of commitment, especially if it was a volatile divorce or if the divorce didn't make sense to the child. For instance, if a child saw that the parents get divorced but had thought that the parents loved each other (never saw them arguing or having any open conflicts), and all of a sudden it came out of the blue, then often when these children grow up into adults, they start distrusting their own judgment of their own ability to love and be loved.
-- Debra Mandel, Ph.D.
3. Thirty Going on 13
Is 30 really the new 20? We've all heard that one before. But there's definitely more than a little truth to that statement. Our world is undergoing a radical shift in its expectations of when we mature. The MacArthur Foundation's Transition to Adulthood project has set a new ceiling for adolescence at 34 years of age. And the 2005 U.S. Census Bureau's marriage statistics indicate that women are waiting longer than ever to settle down, with the average age of first marriage increasing from 20.8 to 25.8 between 1970 and 2005. Just as we've all heard about the Peter Pan complex, the boy who wouldn't grow up, it was only a matter of time before the Tinker Bell Syndrome reared its head. |
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aboxofchocolates
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Location: on your mind
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 2:55 am Post subject: |
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| Big_Bird wrote: |
| aboxofchocolates wrote: |
| The link seems to be dead. Care to give a rundown? |
You'renotmissingmuch.Itwasverydifficulttofollow.Theguydronedonandoneinamonotonousfashionanddidn'tspeakveryclearlyatall.ButIkeptcatchinglittlesnippetsabouthowtoday'swomenareoflowerqualitythanourforebears,andwearebasicallyunmariagebleandfranklyjusthorrible.Wearegoingtodieoutbecausewearenothavingenoughchildren,whichisagoodthingbyandlarge,althoughthespeakerwassorrythatthatwouldalsobringabouttheextinctionofmen.We'llallbewalkingaroundinburkasanditwillbethefeministsowndoing.
I wouldn't bother. Just good w@nking material for cornfed and his ilk. |
lol, thanks for the summary. I'll give this one a miss then. |
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rubric
Joined: 28 Oct 2006
Location: Pongdongfongyong
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 1:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
I wouldn't bother. Just good w@nking material for cornfed and his ilk.
lol, thanks for the summary. I'll give this one a miss then. |
Good advice. Most of this will go right over your head anyway. Best to give it a miss, miss.
This one may be more manageable http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xf4LO_hlReU&feature=related |
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