Korean Job Discussion Forums

[nicam]

A co-teacher of mine invited me to his house for dinner and I cancelled the day of. I had been out with he and his wife once before (who I was told spoke English but does not even know a basic phrase or two and was using a book to translate etc.), and while they are soooooo sweet, they speak absolutely NO English, and communication is exhausting and impossible.

I work at a poor public school where my kids can't afford hagwon and the proficiency level is extremely low, so I am often worn out by my fruitless yet energetic attempts at communication. I just couldn't do the dinner. I've been having a really hard time with an after school class, and just a tiring week in general, and I couldn't manage an entire evening of what would essentially be more work.

I am feeling really bad now and wondering how much of a big deal this is. Thoughts?

[ciccone_youth]

I don't think it's bad at all, you should not feel bad. People cancel things all the time, and especially you know it's not going to be a fun, relaxing evening if you go. What excuse did you give? Like if you said you're not feeling well, I think it's completely acceptable.

[cobright]

You canceled the day of the event for a reason that you knew of at the time you accepted the invitation? That's very bad form. An apology accompanied by some tears is appropriate. And that's just to the fellow members of this board, to the offended person you should bring a gift.

But really, explain that you had a wicked headache that sprung up on you all of a sudden and offer to take the couple out sometime soon. Then do it. In the future decide whether a persons friendship is more important than comfort before you accept an invitation.

Christ, you should be ashamed of yourself. Or not. I'm never ashamed of myself. But then again I'm also anti-social.

Cheers

[pidgin]

You managed to forge a kind of friendship with a couple who cannot speak English!?...in Korea!? SHOCKING

I'm just kidding, it's not a big deal at all. When you feel up for it, invite them for din-din....and bring some flashcards.

[nicam]

I said I had another appointment. We had made the plans a month ago and with the language barrier it was a bit confusing, and I had no reminder.

Maybe I should have said I was sick?! I will invite them out and bring a gift I suppose.

[blurgalurgalurga]

Yeah, make it up to them for sure, sometime when you have the energy. No doubt those dinners are an ordeal, but so are guilt trips, eh?

[nomad-ish]

^ don't worry OP, after your time in korea you will have built up a fine resistance to the "guilt trip"

my opinion, when you invite them out later, invite them for coffee-- it's shorter

[nicam]

Yes, and I think it's strange that they want to make dinner with me a weekly or bi-weekly thing. I mean, it's sweet, but without a translator it's just SO AWKWARD! For ALL of us. They just look like they are in pain the whole time, and I just drink beer really fast and smile a lot until my face hurts.

Will make it up to them for sure!

[caniff]

[KumaraKitty]

Since they are a Korean couple my only concern would be that the wife had been preparing for the meal all day. Often when we have dinner with our Korean friends the wife goes out of her way to make a variety of dishes for our enjoyment.
I would try to take them out to make up for it sometime if possible. Language can be awkward, but it is a small sacrifice to make I'd say.

[nicam]

Yes, KumaraKitty, I think that was the case. Although I asked my co-teacher and she said that the wife had only prepared a small amount of food, so...

I still feel awful though. LOL.

[eamo]

[nicam]

Whoops! Sorry, he is a co-worker. My bad.

[wanamin]

[crosbystillsstash]