Korean Job Discussion Forums

[GlowStickGirl]

Ever since I started working at my hagwon (since the beginning of June), one particular coworker has been constantly asking me to go out with him. I guess since I'm korean-american, he feels that I can "relate" to him better than other korean girls. However, I find his personality as well as his overall appearance very unpleasant. Anyway, it's come to a point where he feels that he can joke around with me regarding sex and use korean "sex terms"..while trying every trick in the book to get me to go out and get drunk with him. He gives me these very creepy looks during our breaks. I've tried to tell him that I don't appreciate that sort of conversation or activity, but he doesn't seem to get the message. Obviously, he thinks he's got this image of himself as a handsome white foreigner who is desired by all korean women...so not true...and yet sad.

What is the best procedure to handle this? I've already talked to the director about this, but it didn't help much since I guess the director feels that his teaching is more important than "coworker issues". To be honest, he is the first New Zealander I've ever met...Is there a special way New Zealand girls tell guys they're offended and not interested?

[Corporal]

Ya know that finger you have that comes after the thumb and index...

[GlowStickGirl]

[Seoultrader]

Date me. That should scare him off.

(But on the other hand, aren't I cute & cuddly?)

If the above is not an option, I suggest giving him a dress-down in public, in front of all co-workers and maybe even students. You'll have a new enemy, but I'm sure you won't spill any tears over it.

And you might wanna stay away from that other creepy Kiwi - Kiwiboy_nz_99 (hehe, you know I luv ya bro)

[Butterfly]

With guys like that I think you just have to blow your top and tell them to **** off. Some guys get so horny they can think straight so can only really be spoken to in very very blunt terms. I find guys like that strange, if a woman says no to me, I need at least three days in bed to recover from it and never ask again.

Get one of your other male colleagues to take him to a prostitute?

Eventually though, he'll find another woman at which to point his pecker, so dont worry about it too much. Just don't give even a hint of friendliness, until he finds a girlfriend which wont be long I expect.

[hellofaniceguy]

Many times I am wrong, but this time, take my advice; have a chat with him. Tell him you want to talk to him alone in one of the classrooms. And then tell him straight up, looking him in the eye, telling him that while you can appreciate his wanting to take you out, you are NOT interested. Tell him to stop it from this point on. Tell him no more remarks, sexual innuendos, sexual harassment, etc. Tell him you find it offensive, tactless, tasteless and inmature. Tell him straight. Don't beat around the bush. If he is a man, he'll back off. If he is a jerk, well then, time for plan "B." If another male co-worker is around, have that person present if not, a female co-worker.
Plan B? Embarrass the hell out of him in front of others every chance you get. Tell him you will post his name on Dave's ESL!

[Tiger Beer]

Another option is to tell another male co-worker who the guy respects about the situation. Maybe the other person can take the guy aside for you..

[Ya-ta Boy]

I suggest a different approach. Get the name and phone number of a lawyer who deals with sexual harrassment cases. Then go to your director and tell him that he has one day to straighten out the situation or you will begin the process of formally accusing your co-worker. There is a very good chance that your employer will see the light.

[Gwangjuboy]

[matko]

[kiwiboy_nz_99]

[Ryst Helmut]

Ok, my co-worker came to me with this problem, and of course, I made a joke....ooops, thought the sarcasm would be apparent!

Told her to tell the guy that she'd meet him for drinks at a bar (45 minute journey with complex directions) that she'd never show up. Next day, he'd ask why she didn't show, and she should retort with "why would I?"

She did.

Quite uncomfortable situation, especially since she told him I told her to do it...bugger! Damn funny now, though....ahhh, the days.


I agree that you ought to take him aside privately and be frank, if that doesn't work then PM me and I'll give you a list of get-backs. Vengeance IS fun, and rewarding.

Shoosh,

Ryst

[Skarp]

Verrry difficult situation....

Having a quiet word might be difficult if the OP is intimidated by the creepy character.

I assume from the OP that she has done almost everything possible to make it clear that she is not interested.

She still has to work with him later....


This is the kind of situation sexual harassment laws were invented for, and I gather Korea is rather lacking in the laws and the ethos behind them.


OK - as maybe one last attempt to fend this character off - maybe write to him...

Keep it clear and keep it simple. Even get a colleague you trust to pass the note to him.


If that doesn't work look for another job. Tell your boss why you are leaving. Tell him (the boss is a he?) that you'll miss the school and loved working there (even if not true) and then leave. Put this in writing too.

I'm sorry this is just so unfair...

I'm hoping you have a visa that allows you to change jobs easily and that you can find another one simply enough.

This is one area unionisation has helped with in the UK and elsewhere BTW. It also helps with racism in the workplace, health and safety, bullying.... People focus on pay demands and strikes when they think of unions, but that's the tip of the iceberg.


Good luck with finding a suitable outcome. Please update us in the outcome/developements


Skarp

[RedRob]

Hit Him. Hard.

Don't worry, if he's a proper Kiwi, he won't cry or sue.

But he may just get the point.

[the_beaver]

Get a fake boyfriend.