Korean Job Discussion Forums

[EricaSmile84]

There are 2 girls on one of my classrooms that are bullied by pretty much the rest of the class. I can't understand most of the things they say to the girls but I can tell by their facial expressions that it's very hurtful. I even pulled one of the other students aside to see why everyone makes fun of them... she said because "they're ugly."

These 2 girls don't sit together by the way.

I feel really bad about this but I don't know what to do. My co-teacher doesn't really see a way to solve the problem and I don't want to single the two girls out any more than they already are. I know this is part of growing up but it really hurts to watch them go through this.

Any advice?

[EzeWong]

As a victim of bullying and then become a rather a very bad bully a few years later...

I have quite a lot of opinions on the topic.

No matter what you do to the students to stop it, it won't discourage them. They've already targeted on the girls.

As cruel as it sounds. If the whole class is making fun of them, it's because they are bringing on themselves. But in your particular case of them being ugly, they are born with it. (And I certainly feel for them, no one should be picked on because society thinks of them as "ugly")

Normally in America, I would suggest somehow subliminally getting the girls to wear some makeup, or do lift their appearance, but in school they can't do anything like it.

Honestly, it sounds like a situation you're powerless in. You can't change the minds of 40 odd children (assuming you teach a class that big) of which their opinon is already made. And you can't really change the girls without resorting to something like plastic surgery.

Although, if I were in your situtation... I would give them stories about the ugly duckling or other stories about not judging a book by it's cover. Children learn a lot of their morals that way, which seems to be very lacking in this generation (they might be too old for it). I just wouldn't make it too obvious because then it would be implying that the girls really are ugly...

[EricaSmile84]

Ok. Well I forgot to mention that neither of the girls are ugly... I don't think it's a case of jealousy either because they definitely aren't the school beauty queens. They're just cute little middle school students.

[I_Am_The_Kiwi]

id say there aint much you can do.

You cant change an entire class to not tease someone....it just wont work.

Somehow suggesting that these kids should change themselves is maybe an easy out for them, but teaching them crappy methods for life. Just cos your not liked doesnt mean you should change...especially when its something like 'looks'

Id say simply if you hear kids insulting them, discipline them as you feel necessary. But not too much so they dnt get the impression your favouring the kids cos thatll just make it worse.

[pelican]

In your case there are likely one or two ringleaders, the Head Bullies, as it were. If you and your co-teacher are able to identify the Head Bullies, the next step would be for you and your co-teacher to speak privately with this one or these two possibly three ringleaders. As long as you and your co-teacher have the respect of the class and as long as you two are able to approach the Head Bullies in an effective way, there should be no problem, as, once the Head Bullies fall into line, the rest of the class will also get the message.
On other threads in this forum, I have heard some excellent suggestions on how to relate effectively to childhood bullies in the classroom. One way would be to talk privately to the Head Bullies and say to them that you have a close friend who is being bullied. Explain to the Head Bullies that this hurts you because this bullied person is a close friend of yours, and that perhaps they might have some suggestions as to how to deal with the bullies. Wait a few days and, if the bullying continues, speak privately with the Head Bullies again, and perhaps say that the close friend you have is actually in their class. If you and your co-teacher are respected by the class, the Head Bullies will eventually understand your message, without you bullying or shaming them unnecessarily. And then the bullying might stop.

At some point in the future, if possible, it likely would be beneficial to somehow impress upon the bullied students that they in fact don't deserve the bullying that they're receiving and to give them strategies which will help them stand up to and avoid being bullied in the future. To be a bully and to be bullied is learned first of all in the family, so complete solutions to this problem ultimately involve everybody: the family, the bullies, the bullied, the bystanders, fellow teachers, administration......the whole community. I realize that you won't be able to tackle all of that...I know others in this forum will be able to give you more ideas on this.

[jvalmer]

Unless you speak fluent Korean, you can't do much. The most you can do is try to get your CT do something, or tell their homeroom teacher via the CT. Well, if it occurs during your class you can make the offenders stand at the back or outside. Since, it probably happens in other classes, isn't that much you can do.

[poet13]

Bully the bullies. Especially the ringleaders. Make fun of their hair, how poor they are, their clothes, their wide faces, and big ears. Anything you can think of. When they're ready to snap, make it very clear that if they (or the class) continues, you will go back to bullying them. If they have enough sway in the class to get others to bully for them, then they have enough sway in the class to get them to stop.


*beep* I hate bullies.

[cobright]

Whoa! Jezuz, don't resort to bullying. Wow that was some very well intentioned bad advice (imho). Try this. Talk to the recipients directly get them to open up about what's going on. From there you can get insight.

If the conflict is superficial then put the instigator with the recipient for class projects where they will get some alone time to communicate without the rest of the gang around to make it a sport. Something where they will get graded together. They must become human beings in each others eyes. Then the bullying will temper as it relies on the victim not being worth treating well.

If the conflict is concrete such as bad history between them or their families, anger over a boy, social status, then work to isolate the behavior without focusing on the instigator or the recipient. Identify the language that has no place in your classroom and be strict on that. Pointing out the behavior directly will only make the recipient look like a cry baby and give the instigator more ammo.

Bullying is another kind of communication. One predicated on a social hierarchy. One that has no place in an english class. In my room I would have the offender write the insult in english on the board if it happens during class time. Then let the recipient correct for grammar, spelling, etc. Give an extra credit point to the person whose english (or english corrections) were more right. Then state that tomorrow the roles will be reversed and the corrector will be writing an insult and todays insultor will be correcting it for grammar etc. Giving the victim a day to prepare an insult is every teased persons dream.

It's a surprisingly fun activity for the whole class and by the end the two principle parties are eager to get back to their seats and shut the hell up for the rest of the week.

[poet13]

" Talk to the recipients directly get them to open up about what's going on. From there you can get insight.

If the conflict is superficial then put the instigator with the recipient for class projects where they will get some alone time to communicate without the rest of the gang around to make it a sport. Something where they will get graded together. They must become human beings in each others eyes. Then the bullying will temper as it relies on the victim not being worth treating well. "

I'm not a child psychologist, but I know what works. Talking to a child "to get them to open up"? Neither the student nor I have the language skills to have that conversation.
I agree with you that there is no place for social hierarchy in the classroom. I make it go away right quick.

*beep* i hate bullies.