Korean Job Discussion Forums

[mmarshalynne]

In one of my classes we have a group discussions based on artices in a book. Last night's topic was suicide. Korea's suicide rate is second in the world. I put topics up on the board, and the students each give statements to support the topic. First, each student gives a reason why Koreans choose to commit suicide. Each gave a very thoughtful significant statement. Most of their reasons centered around feelings of failure, or loss of a dream. Next, each student was supposed to give a statement as to why suicide is not a good choice or something that could be done to reduce suicidal feelings. Not one student offered a single reason or example.

My students are applying to special high schools. Some have passed; some have failed; and others are still waiting for results. Some have talked to me -- before even taking the exam -- about the humiliation students feel when they fail. They stated at their middle school because they have been designated as part of the brightest and are in a special class, some teachers will let them know how angry they are that this resource was wasted on someone who failed. They said other teachers will tell them how disappointed they are in them, and that many students will make fun of how hard they studied to then fail. They also say that failing means going to a not so good high school where they will have to work extremely hard for several years in order to show potential so that they will be accepted into a university.

I try to give perspective on the situation -- that even if they fail that there are always other paths and alternatives to success. I tell them that even people who never get a college degree such as Bill Gates can go on to become incredible successes. I explain to them that feelings of failure, embarassment and disappointment are fleeting and will pass, and that later in life such experiences will seem insignificant. I tell them that people who try to commit suicide and fail are usually very happy that they have failed and go on to live happy lives. I explain to them that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I hope that somehow I reach them.

I am new and have only have been here 3 months. I don't know what comes next. I am hoping that the anxiety and stress I see wearing them down will soon be relieved, and that the students who fail will be okay.

[seoulsucker]

[Yu_Bum_suk]

It sure puts a certain attitude on kids when they know what their odds of success in life are by the time they're 15 years old.

[Jack2121]

I feel a special sympathy for these kids because I think I have had PARTLY KINDRED experiences. Granted, I will be entering Korea for the first time ever in a week, and I would not profess to understand ipsolaterally their feelings. I was raised in a wealthy Washington D.C. suburb where my classmates were the sons of doctors and lawyers and psychologists and EXPECTED, without much hyperbole, to become senators and captains of industry. It was routine, in my public high school, for kids to start taking practice SATs in grade 8 (when they were 14). If you didn't get into either hahvaahd, yale or dartmouth you were an idiot. Several of my friends attempted suicide in high school and a few succeeded. It was perfectly normal (see: routine) for parents to call up teachers and administrators shrieking like banshees if little Johnny had gotten an 89% (read: failure) on a major essay as opposed to a tolerable but still somewhat shameful 95. One of my "friends" had two older sisters who went to harvard and yale respectively. He had some trouble (read: only got 1420) on his PRACTICE SAT in junior year of high school despite all the compassionate minute-based restrictions his parents had put on his computer and social time throughout the years. His solution was to swallow a metric litre of rum in 2 minutes and start walking the impossible distance to his girlfriend's house after calling her on his cellphone and informing her of this decision. By the time she got him to her house he was screaming "Oh &*($, I actually did it. I actually killed myself." Her father comes in her room to find him thrashing around on her bed and reeking like a distillery. They drive him to the hospital where he spends 4 entire days in an uninterrupted coma. But, naturally, he's back to school the first day he's discharged because he's undoubtedly missed a lot of French class.

Just wanted to point out that the sickly spirit of panicky achievement being described here is not a uniquely Korean invention.