Korean Job Discussion Forums

[travelingfool]

I started hanging out with a Korean woman and we really hit it off. We spent a lot of time together. I am not really sure if I could see myself with her long term, but nonetheless I really enjoy her company. I met her when I first got here and I was quite lonely. It was something to occupy my time but it kind of morphed into something more serious.

The problem is that I absolutely hate Korea, for too many reasons to list here. My school and hours sucked, my neighborhood was a hellhole, and my neighbors were inconsiderate idiots who made noise until the wee hours which sucked because I had to wake up really early. With the falling won and a bunch of other factors I decided it was best for me to return to the states.

The problem is that I feel terrible leaving her behind. I mean, she definitely had her quirks and all, but overall is a pretty cool person. The problem is that I can't find much redeeming about this country and I really don't want to stay here for the sake of one other person. If she bailed on me, I would pretty much have nothing because with my hours I really don't have much opportunity to have any kind of social life apart from her. I think that is just too much pressure to put on a relationship. Add to the equation that I have been single for a very long time and really enjoyed spending time with someone like that. Don't call me a mangina or anything.

Can anyone relate to this? I have a vitriolic hatred for this place but there is that one bright spot. I am now on my way back home but I feel really terrible about the whole situation. I certainly don't want my life to revolve around another person. Any insight would be appreciated.

[Jeff's Cigarettes]

Good luck, personally I wouldn't be caught dead w/ a western women again.

[Scamps]

Does she know how you feel? Any chance to persuade her to go back with you?
I think you are making the right decision to go back home since you're miserable here except for her.
And it doesn't have to end completely. You can still keep in touch and who knows, you might find someone even better down the road. Just think positively.

[ldh2222]

If you don't wanna be here, then don't be here. It sounds simply harsh, but that's the reality if you are truly miserable in a foreign country. The only way I would stay in that situation is if you couldn't live without her. Sure there will be ladies that you have a great time with (and you admittedly said you were single and lonely before)... but consider them like 'another fish in the sea'.

[Scotticus]

[princess]

Starting next month, apparently Koreans can visit the states visa-free. Take her with you, perhaps.

[waywardwanderer]

[Konglishman]

[espoir]

I can definately relate to you OP, but from the opposite perspective. I left a major relationship back home because aside from a relationship I absolutely hated my entire situation. I just needed to get away and unfortunately it killed the relationship and now we dont ever speak. We were together for a long time (at least by my normal dating standards, it was over a year) and both planned on going to law school together. We actually got accepted to the same place, but I did not want to continue along that path (especially because it made me more depressed and self-destructive) back home and knew that aside from that relationship my life was a complete hell. So I came here and havent regreted it since (then again still only a few months in so the honeymoon phase hasnt worn off yet).

So OP as shitty as it is, if you arent happy and life, even with one amazingly glowing spark of joy, is making you more and more miserable you have to leave. For even if you stay all that you will do is become even more miserable, which in turn will make your significant other miserable as well. In my opinion you are doing the right thing and all you can hope for is that she at least understands why it has to be the way it will be.

[sarbonn]

From my experience, the first time I was here in Korea, I left a very special someone here, and I felt terrible about it. I still do. I'm back now, but it's been a LONG time since I was here, so I haven't thought any stupid thoughts about trying to find her again (after she most definitely married someone else after I left), but I do regret that the decision I made has always felt like the wrong one.

[PeteJB]

There is nothing sadder than the feeling of a lost opportunity in ones life. Always try to grab them, because 99% of the time you don't get a second chance.

[r.]

I am in a similar situation and am staying put. Korea is a relatively unattractive place to live for me, the friends I make are constantly going back to their own country, my hogwon bosses have mercilessly burned me even though I currently have a nice working situation. However, I recently met a really great woman when I was at the absolute nadir of my life in Korea and I can't leave her behind before I see where we go... I figure everything back home can wait because finding someone I really connect with is rare.

But it sounds like a big part of the reason you like this girl is just because you were lonely. Could you see yourself with her in a happier situation?

[bogey666]

[bogey666]

[PeteJB]

Naturally the one perfect partner is merely someone who is there at the right moment and the right time. Although, there maybe several "perfect partners" for you, your still better off chasing the one you have in sight as opposed to getting back on the train and waiting for the next stop, which may take years. It's not hard to find a partner. But it is hard to find one that moves you enough to take drastic actions.