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amandaz
Joined: 05 Jun 2008
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 Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:49 pm Post subject: Date raped? |
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I've been living in Gwangju for three months now, everything is good, I've met some cool people and I felt completely safe until something completely ridiculous happened to me in Iksan. It was Halloween and I went out to the bar with a guy I was dating. He knows a lot of people there and we were having a good time. I drank maybe five beers, not a lot for me, but then I completely blacked out. The next morning I woke up in some guys apartment. I had no idea where I was or who the guy was. I was also hurt, my ankle and wrist were sprained and I had tons of bruises. Obviously I was freaked out so i left and went back to my hotel. My boyfriend was PISSED. He said I was making out with that guy so he just let me go with him.
I don't get it. Do they have date rape drugs here? My boyfriend thinks I just drank too much, but I don't think so. I had eaten right before we went out and I was not being irresponsible. Iksan is not a huge town either... I just don't know what to think about this... what should I do? |
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Morgen
Joined: 02 Jul 2008
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| Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Go to a clinic asap and get checked. |
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Teelo
Joined: 09 Oct 2008
Location: Wellington, NZ
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| Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:56 pm Post subject: Re: Date raped? |
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My instinct tells me this thread is a troll, but anyway, I'll bite...
| amandaz wrote: |
It was Halloween and I went out to the bar with a guy I was dating.
My boyfriend was PISSED. He said I was making out with that guy so he just let me go with him. |
Same person?
| Quote: |
| I drank maybe five beers, not a lot for me, but then I completely blacked out. |
Did you follow the usual rules of always watching your drinks? Who bought you the beers?
| Quote: |
| The next morning I woke up in some guys apartment. I had no idea where I was or who the guy was. I was also hurt, my ankle and wrist were sprained and I had tons of bruises. |
Did you contact the police?
Oh wait, this is Korea, never mind.
| Quote: |
| I don't get it. Do they have date rape drugs here? |
Why wouldn't they?
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| I had eaten right before we went out and I was not being irresponsible. Iksan is not a huge town either... I just don't know what to think about this... what should I do? |
Unless you remember where this guys apartment is, and can convince someone to take you seriously, there might not be anything you can do.
Edit:
| Quote: |
| Go to a clinic asap and get checked. |
And this. |
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poet13
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Location: Just over there....throwing lemons.
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| Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:57 pm Post subject: |
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"with a guy I was dating."
"My boyfriend was PISSED. He said I was making out with that guy so he just let me go with him."
"My boyfriend thinks I just drank too much,.."
He's still talking to you? I'd have (figuratively) kicked your ass to the curb.
I hope you weren't raped, I really do, cause I think it's just about the worst way you can violate a person.
edit: "My instinct tells me this thread is a troll, but anyway, I'll bite... " me too.... |
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Teelo
Joined: 09 Oct 2008
Location: Wellington, NZ
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| Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:59 pm Post subject: |
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| I hope you weren't raped, I really do, cause I think it's just about the worst way you can violate a person. |
Besides torture and murder? |
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TheChickenLover
Joined: 17 Dec 2007
Location: The Chicken Coop
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| Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:59 pm Post subject: |
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The courts view being intoxicated as a defence for being accused of rape. In all senses, I can't imagine the police actually doing anything truly constructive other than give you a cheap coffee while they fill out some paperwork that most likely will not be an accurate translation of any events you tell them.
I'm sorry to hear of your experience. I also live in Iksan, but I don't frequent places like WABAR.
Chicken |
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traxxe
Joined: 21 Feb 2007
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| Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 6:04 pm Post subject: |
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Even if you were given something...
It doesn't mean you will go off and start making out with other guys. Drugs don't make you do this. Ectasy might but you would know if you were on it.
Sounds like you were really drunk or given something that helped get you there like a xanax dropped in your drink or something.
Regardless, being screwed up on something it doesn't empower you to go off kissing and making out with people other than your boyfriend. It's clear if you are someone who is wasted you cannot trust yourself. You probably have bruises and pain because you fell a lot.
Hopefully he showed you the door.
Good luck with the clinic, you should go and get a heavy dose of anti's in case of STD's etc. |
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RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul, South Korea
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| Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 6:05 pm Post subject: |
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Unfortunately you failed to fight tooth and nail for your life (yes, because you were passed out and most likely drugged), so it doesn't meet the legal definition of rape. Yes, if a man presses a knife to a woman's throat and forces her, and she does what she tells him, it's not legally rape here.
Normally I'd suggest getting your boyfriend to beat the living hell out of the guy and trash his apartment, but he sounds like a real loser. I recommend getting a few more guys you can trust--probably two or three--and return to the apartment. They should wear gloves and try to do more kicking than punching, because it gives the attacker less bruises. |
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Yaya
Joined: 25 Feb 2003
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 6:06 pm Post subject: Re: Date raped? |
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| amandaz wrote: |
I've been living in Gwangju for three months now, everything is good, I've met some cool people and I felt completely safe until something completely ridiculous happened to me in Iksan. It was Halloween and I went out to the bar with a guy I was dating. He knows a lot of people there and we were having a good time. I drank maybe five beers, not a lot for me, but then I completely blacked out. The next morning I woke up in some guys apartment. I had no idea where I was or who the guy was. I was also hurt, my ankle and wrist were sprained and I had tons of bruises. Obviously I was freaked out so i left and went back to my hotel. My boyfriend was PISSED. He said I was making out with that guy so he just let me go with him.
I don't get it. Do they have date rape drugs here? My boyfriend thinks I just drank too much, but I don't think so. I had eaten right before we went out and I was not being irresponsible. Iksan is not a huge town either... I just don't know what to think about this... what should I do? |
I sincerely hope you weren't raped and that you're okay, but well, the rest of your story gives me little reason to feel sympathy for you. |
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traxxe
Joined: 21 Feb 2007
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| Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 6:07 pm Post subject: |
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| RACETRAITOR wrote: |
Unfortunately you failed to fight tooth and nail for your life (yes, because you were passed out and most likely drugged), so it doesn't meet the legal definition of rape. Yes, if a man presses a knife to a woman's throat and forces her, and she does what she tells him, it's not legally rape here.
Normally I'd suggest getting your boyfriend to beat the living hell out of the guy and trash his apartment, but he sounds like a real loser. I recommend getting a few more guys you can trust--probably two or three--and return to the apartment. They should wear gloves and try to do more kicking than punching, because it gives the attacker less bruises. |
Or maybe the chick was wasted, was falling everywhere... and couldn't take care of herself. So someone helped her out and let her crash somewhere. |
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poet13
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Location: Just over there....throwing lemons.
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| Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 6:08 pm Post subject: |
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"Besides torture and murder?"
Yes. |
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Morgen
Joined: 02 Jul 2008
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| Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 6:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Can someone post about a problem and not have everyone sitting in judgment on her, just one time? I'm sure she's more than aware that she made mistakes. Drinking five beers does not sound like "totally wasted" to me. |
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Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 6:12 pm Post subject: |
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| If the woman was actually violated it is not really nice to have people casting stones at her. Korea won't do anything for someone who got raped as far as I know. |
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poet13
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Location: Just over there....throwing lemons.
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| Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 6:15 pm Post subject: |
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Going with Teelos' response...
"My instinct tells me this thread is a troll, but anyway, I'll bite... " |
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anyangoldboy
Joined: 28 Sep 2007
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| Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 6:15 pm Post subject: |
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| This board is full of morally rightous people who think they are more mature than others... |
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