Korean Job Discussion Forums

[HappyPineapple]

Hello.

I'm new to this whole posting thing, but I feel I need some advice from people who have experience forming healthy working relationships with Korean teachers.

I started working for SMOE in late August at an all girls high school. I am a fairly inexperienced teacher, but I've done a lot of work with youth and I take the whole thing pretty seriously, so I felt confident that I could make things work with any co-teacher for the benefit of my students. Of course there have been all sorts of unforseen challenges, but the greatest of these really has been working with one teacher in particular.

At the start of my work here she and I became fast friends. She was fairly fluent in English and very eager to learn more from me. We took walks together, she introduced me to teachers in other departments, she would translate for me at lunch every day, talk to me about cooking, etc. I felt extremely lucky to have her. During midterms I was told I couldn't teach classes for three weeks straight due to studying and testing needs, so I spent most of my days making lessons and reading news, etc. Boring. I also spent a lot of time with my co-teacher friend and we got closer.

Towards the end of October we were thrown back into the classroom together and I found that things had really changed. Maybe it was my expectation after a few weeks off that we really get things done or maybe our friendship somehow impeded our work relationship? I began to notice her undermining me regularly. I would ask the class for quiet and she would keep talking over me. Since then I have noticed all sorts of things:

1. She constantly tells me that my activities are too difficult for high schoolers, even when I print out questions and answers for them to practice. Anything is too hard. She feels it's unfair to ask them to speak because they are shy, etc. We have very different philosophies on establishing a healthy learning environment. Often times I'll catch her whispering the answers in the girs' ears.
2. She will translate anything I say to the students (even when I ask her not to, like the other day in a review game we played...) yet she won't translate what they say to me. Many times I'm left standing at the front of the room, clueless to what they are all talking about, in the middle of my lesson!
3. In addition to believing the students shouldn't be challenged to speak, she also believes they shouldn't be disciplined. Now, I'm not a disciplinarian. I think that students should be engaged by the class because it's interesting, not because they are being yelled at. But I'm sure many of us can agree- Korean students don't always quiet down for foreign teachers without the help of a co-teacher. And if the co-teacher acts indifferent to the foreign teacher's requests, so will the students! It's very frustrating.

I teach with many co-teachers, all of whom have been (at the very least) non intrustive. Some are even amazingly helpful and are excellent English teachers. In some classes I have no co-teachers. My classes with this co-teacher (which are numerous) are the only classes where my activities flounder and the kids seem withdrawn and refuse to speak English with me.

Help! I have tried to speak to her kindly. Nothing has changed. For one day she said "Shhhhhh" more often. Aside from that, there has been no change at all. I know Koreans are conflict avoidant and I don't want to stir up trouble, but I'm finding myself feeling dizzy with rage after some of these classes... Let me know if you have thoughts.

(sorry this is so long... pent up)

[frozenpeas]

The co-teachers aren't there to baby sit you, they have their own classes to deal with and their own styles of teaching. They are also going to be the ones taking the blame if your class doesn't go well.

Why don't you try sit down and work out how you can both work together better - not how you can make her do what YOU want.

[EzeWong]

I had a similar problem in a workplace enviroment (not teaching).

But I think relaying this experience can be helpful.

When I first showed up for the job I wasn't manager, but I was a planned manager in the upcoming 2 months. There was a guy who I made friends with. We'd laugh, joke, talk about soocer, girls (whos the hottest) etc, a lot of immature guy stuff. After a while we'd see each other every day an be on equal footing. Then when I became manager and expected him to do certain things for me he couldn't change his mentality about me being his friend...He wasn't able to seperate work from friendship and couldn't view me as his boss with authority. To say the least this caused a hell of a lot of problems.

In relationship to your situation, it sounds like she's just too close to you. She will say anything she think whether you're wrong, you're right, if she agrees or disagrees. She also believes she has the power to influence you and to change your ways. Other co-teachers may also think similar to her but won't voice their opinions and will respect your thoughts because you aren't close. Whereas she sees it, you're already friends she can lay everything on the table.

The solution isn't easy in this case. You've already created a relationship that she has expectations that you will listen to her thoughts and be friends etc etc. Now when it comes to work she cannot seperate her treatment of you differently. You can't blame her though. It's not her fault. Everyone does it, it's not easy to treat a person differently because you will still think the same thoughts upon seeing them.

What I would do now in your situation given my expereince is that you have to change your attitude. Talk to her everyday like a professional teacher. Change your apperance (and I don't mean buy a new wardrobe but rather your tone) the way you talk, everything so that it conforms to a serious but authoritative manner to regain control. You have to let her know that you aren't buddy buddy enough to transverse those boundaries in the classroom. Be polite though, this works best. You set the stage of how you should treat each other. For example, I know a very classy classy lady. Everytime I meet her I find myself being more and more proper. I even drink tea with my pinky standing, british style. Obstanitate yeah I know. But she set the standard of how I will treat her and how I will behave. Despite our close relationship I never thought it proper to ask her the same questions I do of others (ie. When was your first kiss etc, these things I reserver from her). Set your co-teacher to treat you like a competent foreign teacher.

When I do this myself it's incredibly hard long and lengthy process but it pays off in getting what you want. Otherwise, it will continue, and lets be honest, you'll be miserable if it does, won't it?

You have to decide now what you want. Do you want to be liked? Or do you want to be respected? You can have both... But I haven't figured that out yet lol.

[Yu_Bum_suk]

Two questions: is this academic or vocational HS and is she older or younger than you? If it's academic HS there's a big problem if you need a CT to do anything except translate very difficult or confusing explanations or instructions. If she's younger than you it's time for you to become the one who deals with discipline in the classroom. 'They're shy' is utter rubbish. Are they shy and too quiet to speak when the teachers are having a meeting and they're left on their own in their classrooms?

I also suspect that in your case it's a matter of the novelty of you wearing off. In my first month I could have taught French and still had almost everyone's attention. Then came the realisation that whoa, they're not going to sit there looking up with endless curiousity just because a white guy's at the front of the room.

[Fishead soup]

It sounds like you've done something to really tick her off. It's possble you might have embarrised her in front of her students. Or you're working styles might not be compatable. Either way, you're going to have to address this problem.

My advice- Bring her a little treat some food tell her you would like to talk. Make it as informal as possible. Try to get to the root of the problem.
Once you think you know what the problem is you can start working on it.

My take on this situation is that sometimes Korean co-teachers will go out of their way to accomidate new foreign teachers. They usually do this with two expectations.

(1) Often they set high expectations. If the foreign teacher does not live up to those expectations they feel resentfull. They feel that the hard work they did to accomidate the new Foreign teacher was all in vain. This is something they usually will not verbalize but it has a way of manifesting itself in a nasty way.

(2) They will often expext something in return. Have you ever noticed in the school staff room. Every week someone else will bring snacks for everyone. This is an unwritten rule.

Either way problems like these are usually best when caught at the bud.

[Seoul'n'Corea]

[Ramen]

You are probably popular with students, other teacher, and staff at your school and your friend/co-teacher is not. So I think she may be jealous of you.

Whenever your co-teacher acts irrationally, just slap her a couple of times.

[pkang0202]

OP:

During your 3 weeks where you didn't teach, what did you and that coteacher do?

If you didn't say hi or spend time together, then she must feel jilted.

I think that the key here is the 3 weeks where you didnt teach. What happened during htat time?

[HappyPineapple]

This is a lot of really great advice. Thank you!

I agree that part of it is a comfort level we have established. Outside of class we are still friendly and jovial, which often softens me to the bad things that go on inside of class. But it's not productive in terms of changing our dynamic.

I also agree about the expectations thing. I think by saying yes to everything and trying to be as polite as possible throughout my experience here I have built up these expectations to unrealistic heights. She has probably been frustrated by my behavior in class, too, because I'm not always a push-over and we have had disagreements on certain techniques (obviously).

It's complicated stuff, but I'm sure that I don't know the whole story... I could have done any number of things to piss her off. I'll take this opportunity to buy her a treat and have a sit down talk at some point. I don't think it's too late to salvage, which is why I wrote.

We'll see...

[SeoulMan6]

Re: shyness

Are you making the students speak aloud with the whole class listening? If so, shyness can be a real issue. Break them down into groups and pairs. Then there should be no excuse for shyness or embarassment from making mistakes.