Korean Job Discussion Forums

[suki]

Was reading a different thread about dating, and I didn't want to hijack the OP's post, so decided to post a new topic.

So I've been watching hours upon hours of Kdramas, because even a melodrama gives clues about the culture, in preparation for my arrival. And it seems all the stories involve years of agony as people dance around the topic of emotions, that first love is the only real love, social position means everything (including being married) but true romance can vanquish anything if you're young.

All of which makes me wonder about dating for older people?

I mean, where I live in the states it seems like half the people my age (middle aged) are divorced and half of those are single. What are the stats for middle aged people in Korea? All married? I'm reading about guys even going abroad to other countries and importing brides, because they need to be married if they're going to be career men. Are there any men my age who just CHOOSE to be single or who choose to not establish a household until they find someone they really love? Just how small is the pool for company?

In contrast to this, I once saw a Korean film about two seniors who fell in love. I can't remember, but I think their paths just crossed regularly and the guy put a lot of effort into courting her. It didn't seem to have the drawn out agony of the Kdramas. There wasn't any agony at all. Just charm. (and waay too much skin)

As in the states, I don't want to let desire for company dictate my behaviors, and I will just explore what I'm interested in and hope I run across people naturally that I'm drawn to. But if the chances of this are nearly nil due to demographics, then maybe I should re-think my leaving-it-up-to-fate preference and put in effort...

Anyone know the numbers? Are they grim?

[wylies99]

Are you coming to Korea to work? Worry about work, first, and let other things happen- if they happen.

[suki]

your advice was my plan, but then the age thing (the lack of older people having a life as portrayed in the media) made me second guess my natural m.o.

[wylies99]

Have you ever worked in Korea? If not, then you may have a rude awakening coming to you. Finding a good work situation is not as easy as you think, and unless you have a good work situation, everything else will seem trivial.

[esetters21]

There is a nearly 50% divorce rate here just like back in the States. Take that how you want it.

[hugekebab]

[hugekebab]

[suki]

oh i forgot i had so much power...

what if i just want to hold hands and wear matching t-shirts?

[bogey666]

[suki]

holding hands = ok
matching t-shirts = just shoot me

(just wanted to show I've been doing my homework!)

[kingplaya4]

I'd be very cautious about dating here at your age, the culture is a lot different from back home from the older set. I do have a nice brother in law that's single, although he doesn't speak much English.

[wylies99]

It'll help you if you live in Seoul or close to Seoul.

Oh, and prepare to be bombarded with questions about marriage.

[bogey666]

all right, I can't help myself any longer

but isn't the term middle aged romance an oxymoron?

as I previously noted, the adjective middle aged doesn't have a SINGLE positive connotation in American English.

and there is NOTHING even remotely "romantic" about middle age either.

in fact, quite the opposite

(and I probably technically fit the term now )

[EuroFunk]

There are some truths to the K dramas, but don't take Kollywood seriously. I mostly believe they are just for entertainment...

I'm guessin people remain married in their middle age even if they do have problems (probably to save face, to save the family, etc...) unlike in the states where you could just pack up and leave

There seems to be more of a social pressure to comply with the social clock, but I will soon see if this is right or not...

[suki]

umm, why more cautious than normal?
am i more likely to be drugged and raped?

seriously - don't scare me!
in the states i know what to look out for, but would i recognize sinister intent in korea?

and what is with all the mention of matchmaker stuff - are they as ridiculous and atypical as the ones in the states, or is it really a popular phenomenon?

as for middle aged romance being an oxymoron:

i don't think so. i'm glad i'm not playing musical beds and glad i don't think marriage will bring me happily ever afters. it's nice to just be a grown up appreciating another grown up. moments mean more when you've got less of them left, and romance is only about making the most of those moments.

i guess i will just not think about it and live my life. just hope i'm not a senior before i get my next chemistry lesson.