Korean Job Discussion Forums

[mountainous]

Many foreigners do not understand the concept of saving face. I think that saving face is best illustrated by example:

I was eating in a Korean restaurant with some friends. I ordered a soup and when it was delivered to the table, I saw a large bug swimming around in it. I calmly announced "Excuse me, I am going to run to the restroom to wash my hands."

As I walked towards the restroom, I discretely motioned to the Manager that I wanted to speak to him. We then stood face to face behind closed doors...I politely told him that a large bug accidentally flew into the restaurant when I walked through the front door. I told him that this bug then flew into my soup. He nodded and quietly informed me that he would replace the soup.

I told the Manager: "I will tell my friends that Management offered to keep my soup warm while I was in the restroom." He nodded and smiled. I proceeded to the restroom and washed up. When I returned to the table, I noticed that my soup had been removed from the table. Thirty seconds later, the Manager brought my soup (a new soup) to the table. I announced "Thank you for keeping my soup warm while I was in the restroom. That was SO kind of you, thank you." He nodded and smiled.

After the Manager left the table, my friends and I discussed the great food and the great service. They had no idea that I and the Manager orchestrated some of the "great service" in order to save face for the restaurant.

I returned to the restaurant, alone this time, two days later. The Manager greeted me at the door (he recognized me) and sat me at the best table in the house. He thanked me for saving face and complimented my face saving technique. He told me that the reason why the bug entered the restaurant: 'A bug company that we hired did not complete their job.' I told him that many restaurants in the area have complaints regarding "that bug company." I corroborated his excuse in order to save more face.

If you have any examples of saving face, please share, thanks.

[R-Seoul]

You certainly like using the word face don't you?

[Draz]

They took it to the back, removed the bug, and brought it back out.

Sorry. But it's true.

[Stevie_B]

[Imrahil]

[fortysixyou]

You guys are jackals.


The OP is making a good point, even if there is a distinct 'look at me I'm awesome because I understand the culture so much better than you' vibe to it.

[bundangbabo]

[Lekker]

When my last boss tried to throw at me "I paid for your ticket here," which he didn't (he was trying to find a reason to shut me up when I asked him about my tax deductions.)

He continued with his persistence, struggling to remain correct, I continued with my persistence, "I paid almost a thousand dollars for a one way ticket from Seattle. I can call my credit card company in the States and ask them to email me a receipt if you would like to see one."

"No, I PAY, I PAY, I PAY!"

"No, I paid, I paid, I paid. Let me call my CC company and I'll prove it to you."

Then he is extremely irate, picks up the phone, calls his wife, who knew I paid for my airfare here, talks to her in Korean for a sec, looks at me quietly as she is telling him the same thing I told him over and over again, then hangs up quietly, jaw slightly dropped. "I PAY FOR YOU VISA RUN TO JAPAN! I PAY! I PAY!"

"And you also have been ripping me off for well over a year now. The visa run totaled at 400,000 won. Don't play games with me."

"YOU ARE FIRED, GET OUT OF MY SCHOOL, GET OUT OF MY APT. OR I WILL CALL THE POLICE."

Tried to grab all the documentation from me, I am holding it over his head, he couldn't reach it, I walked out, found a new job. Life is so much better.

[sunnyvale]

That's a pretty silly example. Why would you go out of the way to save face for him? You probably lost face because the restaurant manager thinks you're a pushover for not getting angry that there was a bug in your soup... In general people are only concerned about saving their own face, they're not volunteers going around trying to save face for others, so I don't know why you bothered.

[mateomiguel]

There's a problem with this 'face-saving technique' you just mentioned: I don't like lying, and I don't like being lied to. I think its because I was a science major. Facts are important to me. Also, keeping track of all the bullshit flying around gets annoying.

In this story, basically everything that you said was a lie.

There was a lie to your friends of washing your hands.
There was the lie to your friends of keeping the soup warm.
There was the lie of good service.
There was the lie of the bug company.
And there was the lie of you agreeing about the bug company.

Having so much bullshit flying around is actually harmful to your health. If the people who are supposed to check safety regulations lie, and the people who are supposed to make the axle of your car correctly lie, and the people making the bridge you're driving on lie, and the skyscraper you work in lie... well then the entire area is filled with disasters waiting to happen. And sometimes they do, and kill you.

Also, if you make a habit of lying so much about this, you won't be able to even recognize the truth and work with it if it bites you in the face. That means groundbreaking snake-venom research is right out. Not to mention every other kind of research, such as stem cell research. It also means when you go to other countries to participate in sensitive government programs that involve trust (and outer space), you might get kicked out because you pack training manuals into your luggage on 'accident'.

You also will never be able to trust your girlfriend or wife.

Finally, If you are going to go through all this trouble of lying and making up bullshit, why do it on the behalf of a stranger against your friends? You should have lied in defense of your friends, or your friends in defense of you. They should all have produced bugs in their soup in solidarity of the harsh treatment you received at the stranger manager's hand. Come on, are you married to this guy's daughter? Why do you care about a random restaurant manager with buggy food?

Lying causes more problems than it solves. Screw people's face, give me an accurate reality to work with !

[mountainous]

[Whistleblower]

Many Koreans would eat that bug if they went to the restaurant in the countryside within Korea.

[WoBW]

I got run over by a taxi driver who was running a red at a crosswalk once. I had a broken leg, but I beckoned him over to me lying in the road and said, "Let's tell the police I stepped in front of you on purpose because my hamster just died, and I wanted to share his pain. I'm a bit fucked in the head, you see."

Boy, did I save face for that driver, and all the bystanders gave a round of applause. 8 month later, after several rounds of surgery and quite a few metal pins and rods, I happened to meet the same taxi driver. He complimented my face saving technique and gave me a 500 won discount on a 13,000 won fare. What a guy!

[Stevie_B]

[Stormy]