Korean Job Discussion Forums

[maingman]

Dear Colleagues

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Board of Governors has decided to implement a scheme to put Teaching and support staff of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Personnel selected to be RAPED can apply to the local authority to be considered for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Personnel who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the local authority deems appropriate. Personnel who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously personnel who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the local authority.

Personnel who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Board has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Principal, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Chairman of Governors
Kind Regards