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Zantetsuken
Joined: 21 Dec 2008
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 Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 6:22 pm Post subject: Bowing on the floor during Holidays |
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Hey everyone its your pal Z here.
I guess this goes out to all the married folk on here or dudes with significant others. You know that during the main holidays (Chuseok and seolnal) all the Korean family members meet up at one or several of the elder's houses. They then have to lay on the floor in front of them and pay their respects (while looking a damn fool in my opinion).
Well for the past 3 years or so, every time one of these holidays rolls around they expect me to meet these people and do this as well. I've done it the first couple of times just to be the nice white man...but I haven't for awhile. The last holiday passed and my wife complained that I never bother going to meet any of her family and doing these ridiculous rituals. I explained to her as usual...that I am not going to lay on the floor in front of some guy just because he dodged the death bullet 20-30 years longer than I have...makes no friggen sense to me. Generally I meet them for a few minutes..give a few nods and shakes...eat a pear or two and get the hell out. Except this last time I didn't bother saying what's up. So my wife threw a hissy fit. I know I'm an A-hole..and this cannot be denied. But, I have nothing in come with these older Korean dudes..so why waste both of our times sitting there in silence. Even the guys around my age or younger there (Late 20s-30s) have nothing remotely interesting about them. If any of us had mutual interests then it would be worth my while...but seeing as we don't...whats the point??
So my question is....do any of you guys do the whole laying on the floor thing/eating fruit/twiddle your thumbs thing during these times or do you just say screw it? |
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Cohiba
Joined: 01 Feb 2005
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| Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 6:25 pm Post subject: |
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Basically for my wife to get on her hands and knees for me, I have to
get on my hands and knees for her relatives. |
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samcheokguy
Joined: 02 Nov 2008
Location: Samcheok G-do
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| Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 6:30 pm Post subject: |
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I hope when your wife is on her hands and knees, you are doing something the MALE relatives aren't doing for you.
-AKA why all korean men love Prison Break! |
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Straphanger
Joined: 09 Oct 2008
Location: Chilgok, Korea
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| Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 6:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Cohiba wrote: |
| Basically for my wife to get on her hands and knees for me, I have to get on my hands and knees for her relatives. |
Thread. OVER. |
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Zantetsuken
Joined: 21 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 6:35 pm Post subject: |
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| Cohiba wrote: |
Basically for my wife to get on her hands and knees for me, I have to
get on my hands and knees for her relatives. |
Understandable my man...understandable. But as I mentioned previously I am an A-hole and I do whatever I want and I won't lay on the floor for some older guy who probably doesn't have much respect for me because I am not 우리민족. But horses for courses...and all of that ish. |
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Faunaki
Joined: 15 Jun 2007
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| Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 6:36 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't have to do it because my MIL hates her family. I only had to do it when I got married. I don't even have to visit anyone. It's truly wonderful. |
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Zantetsuken
Joined: 21 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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| Faunaki wrote: |
| I don't have to do it because my MIL hates her family. I only had to do it when I got married. I don't even have to visit anyone. It's truly wonderful. |
I could kill you.............GRRRRR.
I don't visit anyone really either...but unfortunately my wife has to keep up appearances with the fam. Over the time...I've heard from my wife that her family's opinion of me has steadily gone downhill. Which bodes well for me as the less they think of me..the less they'll want to have contact with me...which is a good thing.
Man sometimes I wish I could go back in time and punch Confucius in his Adam's apple and finally be rid of all this madness...all you whiteys would thank me. |
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DC in Suwon
Joined: 14 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 6:44 pm Post subject: Re: Bowing on the floor during Holidays |
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| Zantetsuken wrote: |
Hey everyone its your pal Z here.
I guess this goes out to all the married folk on here or dudes with significant others. You know that during the main holidays (Chuseok and seolnal) all the Korean family members meet up at one or several of the elder's houses. They then have to lay on the floor in front of them and pay their respects (while looking a damn fool in my opinion).
Well for the past 3 years or so, every time one of these holidays rolls around they expect me to meet these people and do this as well. I've done it the first couple of times just to be the nice white man...but I haven't for awhile. The last holiday passed and my wife complained that I never bother going to meet any of her family and doing these ridiculous rituals. I explained to her as usual...that I am not going to lay on the floor in front of some guy just because he dodged the death bullet 20-30 years longer than I have...makes no friggen sense to me. Generally I meet them for a few minutes..give a few nods and shakes...eat a pear or two and get the hell out. Except this last time I didn't bother saying what's up. So my wife threw a hissy fit. I know I'm an A-hole..and this cannot be denied. But, I have nothing in come with these older Korean dudes..so why waste both of our times sitting there in silence. Even the guys around my age or younger there (Late 20s-30s) have nothing remotely interesting about them. If any of us had mutual interests then it would be worth my while...but seeing as we don't...whats the point??
So my question is....do any of you guys do the whole laying on the floor thing/eating fruit/twiddle your thumbs thing during these times or do you just say screw it? |
Heaven forbid you actually do some rituals and customs of your wife's culture that dates back way past the history of U.S. and Canada or wherever else you're from. People like you give some of us a bad name that are actually interested in cross cultural interaction. |
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Zantetsuken
Joined: 21 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 6:52 pm Post subject: Re: Bowing on the floor during Holidays |
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| DC in Suwon wrote: |
| Zantetsuken wrote: |
Hey everyone its your pal Z here.
I guess this goes out to all the married folk on here or dudes with significant others. You know that during the main holidays (Chuseok and seolnal) all the Korean family members meet up at one or several of the elder's houses. They then have to lay on the floor in front of them and pay their respects (while looking a damn fool in my opinion).
Well for the past 3 years or so, every time one of these holidays rolls around they expect me to meet these people and do this as well. I've done it the first couple of times just to be the nice white man...but I haven't for awhile. The last holiday passed and my wife complained that I never bother going to meet any of her family and doing these ridiculous rituals. I explained to her as usual...that I am not going to lay on the floor in front of some guy just because he dodged the death bullet 20-30 years longer than I have...makes no friggen sense to me. Generally I meet them for a few minutes..give a few nods and shakes...eat a pear or two and get the hell out. Except this last time I didn't bother saying what's up. So my wife threw a hissy fit. I know I'm an A-hole..and this cannot be denied. But, I have nothing in come with these older Korean dudes..so why waste both of our times sitting there in silence. Even the guys around my age or younger there (Late 20s-30s) have nothing remotely interesting about them. If any of us had mutual interests then it would be worth my while...but seeing as we don't...whats the point??
So my question is....do any of you guys do the whole laying on the floor thing/eating fruit/twiddle your thumbs thing during these times or do you just say screw it? |
Heaven forbid you actually do some rituals and customs of your wife's culture that dates back way past the history of U.S. and Canada or wherever else you're from. People like you give some of us a bad name that are actually interested in cross cultural interaction. |
I already knew a guy like you would come along and say something along the lines of "Hey asshat how dare you not bow down to a culture much older than yours and give them some of that cross cultural interaction goodness that I read about in a time-life book. You are a disgrace to white people"
Well my friend....here's my answer. I don't give a crap about my own culture much less theirs. If there is something about their culture or my own that interests me...then I do it. If it doesn't...then I could give a hoot.
Let me guess. You are either en-route to Korea or been here between 1-3 months..am I right? You will learn young padawan...you will learn. |
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Underwaterbob
Joined: 08 Jan 2005
Location: In Cognito
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| Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 7:02 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't see any harm in it. I agree that respect should be earned and not just plopped at your feet because you're old, but at the same time you're expected to bow, they're expected to give you something in return. It's not a display of subservience, just a showing of respect that's expected to be reciprocated. Most cultures demand you show at least a modicum of respect to your spouse's family. |
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victorology
Joined: 10 Sep 2007
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| Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 7:18 pm Post subject: |
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| Underwaterbob wrote: |
| Most cultures demand you show at least a modicum of respect to your spouse's family. |
I agree. It's not exactly about respecting Korean culture or some random person older than you. It's about respecting the family of your spouse. |
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T-J
Joined: 10 Oct 2008
Location: Seoul EunpyungGu Yeonsinnae
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| Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 7:32 pm Post subject: |
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Really OP? Two days out of the year to give a little nod to her family is too much for you? Wow! You really feel strongly enough about this to piss your wife off and stress your relationship for the other 363 days of the year? Wow!
I've got to ask what the communication situation is like. Do you speak Korean well enough to carry on a conversation, or do they speak English well enough?
If you're just sitting dependent on your wife's translation all the time, I could understand some of your discomfort. Barring that I would have to agree with you, you're an A hole. |
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ImmatureDouche
Joined: 03 Nov 2008
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| Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 7:41 pm Post subject: Re: Bowing on the floor during Holidays |
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| Zantetsuken wrote: |
Hey everyone its your pal Z here.
I guess this goes out to all the married folk on here or dudes with significant others. You know that during the main holidays (Chuseok and seolnal) all the Korean family members meet up at one or several of the elder's houses. They then have to lay on the floor in front of them and pay their respects (while looking a damn fool in my opinion).
Well for the past 3 years or so, every time one of these holidays rolls around they expect me to meet these people and do this as well. I've done it the first couple of times just to be the nice white man...but I haven't for awhile. The last holiday passed and my wife complained that I never bother going to meet any of her family and doing these ridiculous rituals. I explained to her as usual...that I am not going to lay on the floor in front of some guy just because he dodged the death bullet 20-30 years longer than I have...makes no friggen sense to me. Generally I meet them for a few minutes..give a few nods and shakes...eat a pear or two and get the hell out. Except this last time I didn't bother saying what's up. So my wife threw a hissy fit. I know I'm an A-hole..and this cannot be denied. But, I have nothing in come with these older Korean dudes..so why waste both of our times sitting there in silence. Even the guys around my age or younger there (Late 20s-30s) have nothing remotely interesting about them. If any of us had mutual interests then it would be worth my while...but seeing as we don't...whats the point??
So my question is....do any of you guys do the whole laying on the floor thing/eating fruit/twiddle your thumbs thing during these times or do you just say screw it? |
The only people who enjoy these rituals are the old granpas who get to talk talk and talk. The younger folk have better things to do with their time, but are just going through the motions out of cultural sentiments and obedience to authority.
If I were you though, I'll put up with it if it means my wife will appreciate my efforts and return in kind. Not for her family, but for her. There are worse things in the world than sitting around looking stupid for a couple of hours  |
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Zantetsuken
Joined: 21 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 8:28 pm Post subject: |
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| T-J wrote: |
Really OP? Two days out of the year to give a little nod to her family is too much for you? Wow! You really feel strongly enough about this to piss your wife off and stress your relationship for the other 363 days of the year? Wow!
I've got to ask what the communication situation is like. Do you speak Korean well enough to carry on a conversation, or do they speak English well enough?
If you're just sitting dependent on your wife's translation all the time, I could understand some of your discomfort. Barring that I would have to agree with you, you're an A hole. |
Giving a nod is one thing...laying on the floor...not my thing...Maybe you don't mind...but I do. Plus she never gives a nod to anyone in my family (not that I really care) I don't see why I have to.
As for my Korean....its OK enough....I'm no Stephen Revere...but I'm no 왕초보 either. Never spent a won on any books or classes.....just learn the old-fashioned way..messing with people and making mistakes.
Yeah I'm an A-Hole...and you are a king among white men... |
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movybuf
Joined: 01 Jan 2007
Location: Mokdong
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| Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 9:22 pm Post subject: |
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| I would say you are more than just an "ass" you are also immature. I'm going to assume you think that the world revolves around you. I can see some 13 year old complaining like this, but a grown man? Truly pathetic. |
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