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Zackback
Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Location: Kyungbuk
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 Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 2:54 am Post subject: Your lady love says yes but her mommy and daddy say no |
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| Johnny likes ...let's call her name Seung-mi. Both are 28 years old. Her parents don't like me because I am not Korean. How difficult is it for a Korean girl nowadays to ignore her parents constant objections and stay with a classy guy like me? |
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Radius
Joined: 20 Dec 2009
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| Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 3:19 am Post subject: |
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| Run. If she doesn't stick by your side or tell her parents to stuff it, you're in for a long, bumpy ride. |
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Koreadays
Joined: 20 May 2008
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| Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 3:19 am Post subject: |
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it gets done more often than you think.
When the Girl really loves her man she will probably walk over broken glass for him.
a strong woman who is prepared to leave her parents and set out on a new life with her new found love.
It takes a certain kind of woman.
the parents might be very stubborn and never really accept you.
most probably one day they will to a degree more so to keep their daughter happy.
I know of couples who defied their in laws. Strong , brave girl. |
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RMNC
Joined: 21 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 3:34 am Post subject: |
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Keep her and if she proves that she doesn't care what her parents think, then you're good to go. They might even grow to accept you or even like you. If you sense she's not gonna be able to break away from mommy and daddy's collective magical Hanguk uni-teat, then you might as well just start looking for another girl right now, so that you can make the jump when the time is right to a girl who ISN'T afraid of people who have nothing to do with her decisions or dating scene.
Some people say it's wrong to start your search while you're still with someone- they probably don't get laid very often is what I say.
But who knows? You may get lucky and her parents will come around. |
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Poker
Joined: 16 Jan 2010
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| Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 4:04 am Post subject: |
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| For many Koreans, marriage is a collective family decision, it is hard for the men/women to go against their parents will, they have been trained their whole life to listen to elders! So if you do find a girl that is strong enough to make her own decisions, then she is a keeper! |
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dyc
Joined: 16 Dec 2010
Location: Vancouver
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| Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 4:11 pm Post subject: Re: Your lady love says yes but her mommy and daddy say no |
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| Zackback wrote: |
| Johnny likes ...let's call her name Seung-mi. Both are 28 years old. Her parents don't like me because I am not Korean. How difficult is it for a Korean girl nowadays to ignore her parents constant objections and stay with a classy guy like me? |
How long have you two been together? Have you tried to win her parents over? Or do you give the impression that you're just a Westerner who will leave any time and break their daughters' heart/"steal" their daughter from them and go to America (or maybe that's good? iuno). |
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sadguy
Joined: 13 Feb 2011
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| Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 4:13 pm Post subject: |
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| this sounds just like what my friend is going through right now. same age too. she's conflicted. they broke up over a month because of it but she is willing to try. |
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cyui
Joined: 10 Jan 2011
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| Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 5:33 pm Post subject: |
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How do you know OP? Have you two sat down and talked about what you BOTH really expect for your lives'?
*or are you just assuming?' ( her ideas might be 'collectively" different from EVERYONES' ( including the parents)? |
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Who's Your Daddy?
Joined: 30 May 2010
Location: Victoria, Canada.
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| Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:30 pm Post subject: |
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Could the girl leave Korea?
Actually inter-racial marriage between for/kor is difficult enough that with the added pressure of her separating her family it sounds untenable. |
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redaxe
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:41 pm Post subject: |
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| Are you serious about her and willing to eventually marry her? Or are you just casually dating? If you two ever break up, mom and dad are going to have a big "I told you so" moment. |
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is so delicious
Joined: 28 Apr 2009
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| Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 2:07 am Post subject: |
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| cyui wrote: |
How do you know OP? Have you two sat down and talked about what you BOTH really expect for your lives'?
*or are you just assuming?' ( her ideas might be 'collectively" different from EVERYONES' ( including the parents)? |
This is good advice. I just went through by far the most serious relationship of my life, and we knew there were a lot of differences and I think we were always too nervous to sit down and really have a conversation about the future... like the conversation was too big or heavy or whatever, and it was never the right time.
I went home and hadn't found a job to come back to yet, and she left me. After being completely in love with me for 2 1/2 years.
Her parents/family differences were her excuse, but I think it was just that, an excuse. I think they reflected other doubts and shortcomings (for both of us) I haven't quite figured out.
Anyway, I think deep down I know it was probably for the best... I'm a pretty private/selfish/impatient/cheap person and really am not sure I'm meant to take care of a family... but one of the things that's been tormenting me the most is just the knowing that we never actually sat down and talked about it openly and civilly. I've a feeling those people who think marriage should be based more on practicality than passion or whatever, are right. Knowing that I didn't get a fair shot at it has been maddening, so I suggest you take yours while you still have the opportunity. |
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sadguy
Joined: 13 Feb 2011
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| Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 2:17 am Post subject: |
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if you guys were both completely in love then why was it something you didn't feel comfortable talking about? that's strange. seems like a natural conversation to have, especially considering the nature of your situation- foreign teacher marrying a native.
maybe both of you guys knew it subconsciously that if you spoke about it, it would ruin things so both of you avoided the conversation. |
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