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Peter Jackson
Joined: 23 Apr 2006
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 Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 1:56 am Post subject: Sauna Misadventure! |
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Ok, I love the sauna and jimjibang. It took me over 3 years to get over my fear and now I am hooked. I can't believe I lived so long without going. I was so afraid to walk around in the buff but now I don't even notice my state of undress or the state of others.
On my last visit, however, something happened which was rather unpleasant.
I was taking a shower. It was after 12 AM and there was no one else in there. Another Korean man comes in and begins to shower. I hardly notice him. He nods and I nod back. He then asked if I wanted my back washed. I said, "No thanks" quite clearly. I thought. Well, apparantly that meant, "Sure, of course!" in his twisted mind. Now I have known for some time that Korean men routinely wash their friends backs. Although I did not know him at all, I thought maybe he was just being friendly.
Well he starts to make his move. I won't go into any detail but let's just say I felt very violated indeed. I pulled away from him. Now I am not super buff and have never been a particularly violent person. He kept manhandling me, even though I obviously wasn't interested. Finally, I turned the water off (even though I was nowhere near finished) and began to head out. He asked where I was going. I said, "Leaving!" He then asked if I was gay. I told him no. He offered some lame excuse for an apology and told me was was gay. He still kept harrassing me as I was leaving, staring and hoping I would change my mind.
Now this was in a regular family sauna. A few minutes before several teenage boys were playing in the water. I know there are Gay saunas here and if one was into that sort of thing he would go there. I wonder if this guy always hits on foreigners in the sauna. Would he hit on some random Korean guy? I doubt it.
This experience will not damper my enthusiasm for the sauna. I will continue going. I might not want to be there after 12AM, though. Maybe the freaky people come out then. Has anyone else been assaulted like this?
The guy was lucky. I am not violent. I know if he had done something like that to any number of my friends he would have received a black eye or lost a few teeth. It made me a bit more wary. The next morning another Korean guy was complimenting my body. Probably just being nice, but after the last incident it made me feel rather uncomfortable.
Regards, |
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TheUrbanMyth
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 2:16 am Post subject: |
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You handled that very well.
Worst thing you could have done is gotten in a fight with the guy...you don't want to end up in jail in a foreign country and shelling out millions of won in 'blood money'
But the big question is why didn't you take him up on his offer?  |
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Homer
Guest
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 2:36 am Post subject: |
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Perhaps the hour you were there (midnight!) kinda contributed to your little shower romance encounter...
But, you handle that well... |
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steroidmaximus
Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Location: GangWon-Do
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 3:01 am Post subject: |
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| you've been here over three years, have just joined the forum, and your second post is complaining about a shower room incident. hmmm. . . |
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Jaygee
Joined: 03 Dec 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 4:17 am Post subject: |
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| TheUrbanMyth wrote: |
You handled that very well.
Worst thing you could have done is gotten in a fight with the guy...you don't want to end up in jail in a foreign country and shelling out millions of won in 'blood money'
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It's not the first time you're sating that people have to beware of being sued for "blood money".
I'd have kicked his ass on the spot and no one would have sued me for that. What are you stating? That Koreans can harass you without being bothered but you, the foreigner, on the other hand have to be careful of how you respond to the harassment? Come on, apolog. Get real. Have you ever been witness of a case of "blood money"? I doubt it. |
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TheUrbanMyth
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 4:31 am Post subject: |
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| Jaygee wrote: |
| TheUrbanMyth wrote: |
You handled that very well.
Worst thing you could have done is gotten in a fight with the guy...you don't want to end up in jail in a foreign country and shelling out millions of won in 'blood money'
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It's not the first time you're sating that people have to beware of being sued for "blood money".
(2) I'd have kicked his ass on the spot and no one would have sued me for that. What are you stating? That Koreans can harass you without being bothered but you, the foreigner, on the other hand have to be careful of how you respond to the harassment? Come on, apolog. Get real. (1)Have you ever been witness of a case of "blood money"? I doubt it. |
(1) Twice.
(2) Yawn. Another Internet tough guy.
If the Korean person claims innocence and you can't speak Korean well enough to defend yourself, do you think the police are going to bother to listen? I doubt it. |
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huffdaddy
Joined: 25 Nov 2005
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 4:42 am Post subject: |
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| steroidmaximus wrote: |
| you've been here over three years, have just joined the forum, and your second post is complaining about a shower room incident. hmmm. . . |
three years here, and you are just now succumbing? *gasp* the horrors. it's good to see that you have overcome your inhibitions...
...of posting on Dave's. |
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Jaygee
Joined: 03 Dec 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 4:58 am Post subject: |
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Easy to say, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.
But since when the police decide who's payin'? Isn't it to the judge to decide? You're quite easy to fire up tonight.
BTW, I can make myself available at any convenient time to show you how tough I am in real life, sugar. |
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Tiger Beer
Joined: 07 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 5:06 am Post subject: |
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I don't go to the saunas often.
But have stayed in a Itaewon one overnight for a easy place to sleep before going home.
Funny how a few clothed women stroll into the naked guy areas to check 'things' out.. hehe. I don't mind that by the way.  Kinda funny.
Last edited by Tiger Beer on Fri Apr 28, 2006 6:30 am; edited 1 time in total |
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jinju
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 5:20 am Post subject: |
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| Jaygee wrote: |
| TheUrbanMyth wrote: |
You handled that very well.
Worst thing you could have done is gotten in a fight with the guy...you don't want to end up in jail in a foreign country and shelling out millions of won in 'blood money'
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It's not the first time you're sating that people have to beware of being sued for "blood money".
I'd have kicked his ass on the spot and no one would have sued me for that. What are you stating? That Koreans can harass you without being bothered but you, the foreigner, on the other hand have to be careful of how you respond to the harassment? Come on, apolog. Get real. Have you ever been witness of a case of "blood money"? I doubt it. |
anyone who assaults another person can get sued for assault, and the fines can be heavy. Doesnt matter if one is a foreigner or a Korean.
Last edited by jinju on Fri Apr 28, 2006 5:21 am; edited 1 time in total |
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jinju
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 5:21 am Post subject: |
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| Jaygee wrote: |
Easy to say, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.
But since when the police decide who's payin'? Isn't it to the judge to decide? You're quite easy to fire up tonight.
BTW, I can make myself available at any convenient time to show you how tough I am in real life, sugar. |
Oh god. Dude, did you grow up after highschool? |
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CaptainConjunction
Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 5:46 am Post subject: Re: Sauna Misadventure! |
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It's fairly obvious what happened here. Now I haven't changed any of the wording of your post, but I've highlighted the relevant points below. You just need to read between the lines. (select the text to see the full version)
| Peter Jackson wrote: |
Ok, I love the sauna and jimjibang. It took me over 3 years to get over my fear and now I am hooked. I can't believe I lived so long without going. I was so afraid to walk around in the buff but now I don't even notice my state of undress or the state of others.
On my last visit, however, something happened which was rather unpleasant.
I was taking a shower. It was after 12 AM and there was no one else in there. Another Korean man comes in and begins to shower. I hardly notice him. He nods and I nod back. He then asked if I wanted my back washed. I said, " No thanks" quite clearly. I thought. Well, apparantly that meant, "Sure, of course!" in his twisted mind.
Well he starts to make his move. I won't go into any detail but let's just say I felt very violated indeed. I pulled away from him. Now I am not super buff and have never been a particularly violent person. He kept manhandling me, even though I obviously wasn't interested. Finally, I turned the water off (even though I was nowhere near finished) and began to head out. He asked where I was going. I said, "Leaving!" He then asked if I was gay. I told him no. He offered some lame excuse for an apology and told me he was gay. He still kept harrassing me as I was leaving, staring and hoping I would change my mind.
Now this was in a regular family sauna. A few minutes before several teenage boys were playing in the water. I know there are Gay saunas here and if one was into that sort of thing he would go there. I wonder if this guy always hits on foreigners in the sauna. Would he hit on some random Korean guy? I doubt it.
This experience will not damper my enthusiasm for the sauna. I will continue going. I might not want to be there after 12AM, though. Maybe the freaky people come out then. Has anyone else been assaulted like this?
The guy was lucky. I am not violent. I know if he had done something like that to any number of my friends he would have received a black eye or lost a few teeth. It made me a bit more wary. The next morning another Korean guy was complimenting my body. Probably just being nice, but after the last incident it made me feel rather uncomfortable
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I will now point out what really happened!
There are lots of non-verbal cues here that indicate your acceptance of his offer. Look at it from his point of view:
He's hanging around in the showers at the "get lucky" time, and you walk in proudly displaying your wares. He nods to you. Meaning: Yes? (Are you up for it?) You nod back, showing your interest in his proposition. Then, just to be sure he asks if you'd like "your back washed". He hears your reply of what sounds like "thanks!" and steps in to take care of business.
You then:
1. Felt violated (well clearly if you allowed him to violate you)
2. Pulled away from him. (Not sure what kind of action this denotes )
3. Turned off the water even though you weren't "finished" (poor you!)
4. He feels confused, so he double checks by asking directly if you are gay.
5. You reply no, despite allowing him to begin washing your back in the first place.
6. He kept harrassing you as you were leaving. You can hardly blame him for that, you big tease - leading him on like that.
7. The next morning you are back at the sauna again. If this had been me, I'd have totally avoided the place after that. But anyway, another guy begins complimenting you on your body. Obviously the stories have spread about the waygook that's playing hard to get.
Please don't flame me, I couldn't resist having a laugh. |
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Cedar
Joined: 11 Mar 2003
Location: In front of my computer, again.
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 5:56 am Post subject: |
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| Jaygee wrote: |
Easy to say, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.
But since when the police decide who's payin'? Isn't it to the judge to decide? You're quite easy to fire up tonight.
BTW, I can make myself available at any convenient time to show you how tough I am in real life, sugar. |
I have been a recepient of the "blood money". No court, no judge. Just the cops ask you how much to drop charges, and if you don't know, they'll suggest an amount, and if the other person pays up, that's the end of it. I got a lot more than I felt was necessary for damages, but less than necessary to --really-- teach the as*hole a lesson. |
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jinju
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 6:28 am Post subject: |
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| Cedar wrote: |
| Jaygee wrote: |
Easy to say, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.
But since when the police decide who's payin'? Isn't it to the judge to decide? You're quite easy to fire up tonight.
BTW, I can make myself available at any convenient time to show you how tough I am in real life, sugar. |
I have been a recepient of the "blood money". No court, no judge. Just the cops ask you how much to drop charges, and if you don't know, they'll suggest an amount, and if the other person pays up, that's the end of it. I got a lot more than I felt was necessary for damages, but less than necessary to --really-- teach the as*hole a lesson. |
Careful, he will propose you meet him so he can show how tough he is. Apparently, we are still all in highschool and the final bell means "fight time". |
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mysteriousdeltarays
Joined: 07 Feb 2003
Location: Food Pyramid Bldg. 5F, 77 Sunset Strip, Alphaville
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 6:36 am Post subject: |
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Captain Conjunction: That was a great interpretation! I found that very insightfull indeed.
For whoever it was who posted the original message. Gosh, never been accosted by gays before? They are all over the world. I usually defuse such people by introducing them to the dead, to whom I see and converse with, always with interesting tales to tell, are also all over the place.
Such converstations always satiate the most ardent of suiters. Yet I can't imagine why?
While my sanity is obviously questionable (my sensative equilibrium has been disrupted by recent seismic events on the eurasian fault zone) I think, and perhaps I'm wrong in saying this but and I think history would prove me correct: It is not always the wisest idea to slug anybody around here.
Please correct me if I am wrong!
As an American may I suggest shooting them. That will go over well! They like the wild west here. Two macho tough guys slugging it out naked in the sauna.
A "lovers spat" the students will love it.
Yours, for a good old "shoot out" at the O.K Corral,
Your Boy Wonder Tod |
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