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irishboi
Joined: 23 Mar 2009
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 Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:17 am Post subject: Nightlfe/Gayscene |
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hey
Im coming to South Korea hopefully at the start of September and I was wondering about the nightlife in Seoul, and in particular the Gayscene (if any!?) I hear Korea is pretty conservative so would I run into any problems as a gay guy?? |
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loggerhead007
Joined: 22 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 11:09 am Post subject: |
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| dude if you're a cockpuff get ready for some serious under the cover (serious) action. Don't tell and don't tell BIG TIME. Low style..way low. |
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Pwillig
Joined: 26 Jan 2009
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| Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 3:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Think... 1960s Alabama. |
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cj1976
Joined: 26 Oct 2005
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| Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:28 pm Post subject: |
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The Korean men with the pink shirts and pretty boy hairstyles might confuse you, but apparently most of them are straight.
No-one will lynch you for being on the other bus, but you will fall under the scope of some very judgemental people. It's up to you, I guess. |
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kirya
Joined: 14 Apr 2008
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| Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:35 pm Post subject: |
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| I've actually ran into a few gay Korean males, not many but a few. They openly stated that they were gay. But as everyone has said, don't tell people especially the people at your work. |
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gazz
Joined: 13 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:46 pm Post subject: |
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Korea is a good place to come to cure yourself of this illness 
Honnesty is a good policy - tell your VP, just make sure you have a camera ready to see his/her face!!!!
On a serious note - One good thing if you are of the 'camp' variety is your school is unlikely to really attribute this to your gayness.
You will be able to walk down the street holding hands with guy without heads turning I would imagine, carry about a 'man bag' over your sholder ect ect...
Just try and control yourself in the bath houses FFS! I bet you'll be one of the few foreigners trying to get a back scrub off the K guys...... |
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seoulsucker
Joined: 05 Mar 2006
Location: The Land of the Hesitant Cutoff
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| Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:58 pm Post subject: |
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There is a small, but lively gay scene in Seoul. If you're planning on having an *ahem* active lifestyle, don't live anywhere else in Korea.
In terms of day to day operation, you're going to have to keep it on the DL, even in front of your foreign coworkers until you can figure out how they'll take it. |
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gazz
Joined: 13 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 8:19 pm Post subject: |
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[quote="seoulsucker"]There is a small, but lively gay scene in Seoul. If you're planning on having an *ahem* active lifestyle, don't live anywhere else in Korea.
In terms of day to day operation, you're going to have to keep it on the DL, even in front of your foreign coworkers until you can figure out......
HOW THEY'LL TAKE IT!  |
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seoulsucker
Joined: 05 Mar 2006
Location: The Land of the Hesitant Cutoff
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| Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 8:26 pm Post subject: |
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[quote="gazz"]
| seoulsucker wrote: |
| HOW THEY'LL TAKE IT! |
Dude...got me on that one. I definitely could have phrased that differently. |
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RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul, South Korea
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| Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 8:38 pm Post subject: |
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I do know of an old movie theatre in Busan where ajosshis cruise each other for anonymous sex.
Also, you can become famous if you have sex with him:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andre_Kim
Just ask any male actor or singer in this country. |
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Jane
Joined: 01 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 11:28 pm Post subject: |
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I knew a guy here a few years ago who was gay, and he didn't have any trouble. The key, however, is to live in Seoul.
In Itaewon, there a place called "homo hill" and that's where all the gay clubs, restaurants, etc. are. |
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angel of bob
Joined: 11 Dec 2007
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sat Mar 28, 2009 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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The epicenter of the gay scene is homo hill, but too be honest the scene isn't huge. Having previously lived in New Orleans and San Francisco, I guess I was just used to being around a giant queer scene.
The guys I know here generally complain of not getting laid, but to be honest they're not really trying too hard to go out to locations which known homosexuals have been said to frequent.
Also, if you haven't been in Korea before, it's really hard to explain this but there's a huge language barrier, so there is quite possibly a totally different Korean gay scene that most foreigners don't know about. The most accessible and easy stuff to drop in on is in Itaewon and sometimes in Hongdae.
Also, depending how you feel about sleeping with married men/women, there are other options. |
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sjk1128
Joined: 04 Feb 2005
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| Posted: Sat Mar 28, 2009 6:41 pm Post subject: Repeating what I said before |
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As everyone said, there is a thriving if, relative to western cities, hidden gay community in Seoul. There is one in Busan as well: roughly 30 establishments of one kind or another. However, gay dance clubs are conspicuous in their absence in Busan. I've had no trouble making gay Korean friends here either. Foreign guys are really popular with a lot of Korean gay guys: they'll want to meet you, make friends with you, have sex with you.... Unless you're butt-ugly, you'll be a "stud," and even then, you'll likely do just fine. There are many other issues, however. As in all things, Korean culture plays an often confusing role for the westerner in any kind of relationship here - and this holds true in the gay world.
Last year, I lived in Ulsan. There were only two gay (karaoke) bars. I heard there was one gay "sauna" too, but I never went. Apparently, gay "saunas" in Korea are not really such, but just dark dirty sleeping/ sex areas with no facilities aside from a shower. But if that tickles your fancy, then there ya' go. By the way, the gay karaoke clubs seem the most popular spots, at least outside Seoul.
In general, gay Koreans seem to do quite well until they hit 30 or so, when the enormous societal pressure to marry descends on them in force from family, coworkers, friends, etc. Then their lives often turn quite miserable. Many choose to live douible lives or eventually become estranged from their families. On the other hand, they have the advantage of being able to be quite intimate with their partners in public without anyone thinking anything is "amiss." Anything aside from kissing or actual sex in public will likely be interpreted by any Korean onlookers as two friends being affectionate or just horsing around. You may find your straight Korean friends surprisingly "open" in some ways:
they'll scrub your back at the baths
they'll grind you rather than the pretty girl on the dance floor
they'll feel completely comfortable touching any part of your body
they'll hold hands with you as you walk down the street
they'll crawl in bed beside you and go to sleep
Just be sure not to interpret any of the above as "gay," or "sexual." In Korea, that is not necessarily the case. |
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I'll add my thoughts to the pack:
There is NO privacy in Korea. You cannot depend on anyone to keep your secret, and you probably should keep being gay a secret at your workplace in Korea. I say this as a gay man who was out for 17 years before coming to Korea. Korean employers can and will fire you if they feel your being gay is inappropriate, i.e. hurting their bottom line. Despite what some people say, this is not as simple as "having nothing to do with work." Of course being gay has nothing to do with your teaching ability, but it will come up, and you will have to choose whether to lie or not - frequently. Koreans frequently ask your age and if you have a girlfriend/ boyfriend. If you are male, many employers try to take you out for all night drinking binges which involve visiting prostitutes. This is why so many young burgeoning alcoholics choose Korea to continue their frat-house style lives. You can choose not to go, but they will find this strange and antisocial. Well-meaning Koreans will also set you up on dates.... You get the picture.
Your visits to the doctor are also not private. Your emplyer can call the doctor and find out anything about you. On many occasions, the doctor's office will actually voluntarily call your employer to inform them of any items of interest in your health history. One of my friends here was called into the office and nearly fired because he had an HIV test. Though the result was negative, the doctor's office elected to call his school and inform them that they had a "pervert" working there. My public school vice principal called the doctor's office both days I was absent last year to verify that I was really sick even though I had brought in a note for work. The doctor discussed my health with him at length, even informing him that I had had a general STD urine test a few months before.
That said, you can have an active and fulfilling social life with Korean and foreign friends, both gay and straight once you've settled in. As others have said, there are many foreign gay guys in Korea who seem to view their time here as a sex tour. The other side of that coin is that many Korean gay guys will see the foreign gay guy as simply an exotic, animalistic sex partner, not someone they actually want to develop a relationship with. You can have a good relationship if you want one, but it will take more work on both sides, as all cross-cultural relationships do.
Best of luck to you. Make wise decisions and enjoy your time in Korea. |
and, finally,
| Quote: |
So I've read this a couple of times in this thread and heard it many times, but I am still unclear as to what "rubbing someone's face in it" entails with regard to being gay. This smacks of prejudice like asking someone who's "too" black to use a lightening cream to make his or her skin more "pleasant." I've never understood why many people think it's possible to be "too" gay or "too" obvious about it but would never say the same thing about straight people. How "much" gay is acceptable in these people's estimations: 20%, 50%, 80%?
For example, earlier this year I was standing in a nightclub with a straight acquaintance. He felt perfectly comfortable extolling the virtues of his (Asian) girlfriend's tight orifices and perky appendages. However, he looked disgusted and walked away when I agreed amicably, honestly, and in an attempt to continue the conversation at his level, that my (Asian) boyfriend's a$$ was the hottest, tightest thing I'd ever plowed. Was that rubbing his face in it? I thought it was just a case of tit for t'ass. |
I guess what it boils down to for me is that gay life in Korea is very complicated, moreso than in a western city. However, it is not nonexistent. Also, Korean people who know you are gay and do not like it will likely just avoid you - unless they are your employers. Unfortunately, Korea also attracts a certain breed of insecure heterosexual foreign men who spend most of their time and energy drinking and looking for sexual exploits with "exotic" women. In some cases they can be much less tolerant than their counterparts from the "developing nation" of Korea. Just look at some of the replies to your thread here. |
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