Korean Job Discussion Forums

poet13 · Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 5:37 pm Post subject: What should I do?

So I ran into a former student on the way home yesterday evening.
She says she misses me as her teacher....even though I made her do pushups once. Says the new teacher is ok, but he has a funny accent and she doesn't like that he looks down the girls tops. Shocked

(This is middle school.) She's not upset. It's like it's just a fact of life...which is also pretty disturbing.

I know this guy.

Should I....

A - go by his house and slap him in the mouth as a warning.
B - talk to his co-teacher who I know.
C - both.
D - let it go and let him hang himself of his own accord. (Not sure morally that I can do that.)

gazz · Joined: 13 Oct 2008

Or D: suggest he gets himself laid! Smile

michaelambling · Joined: 31 Dec 2008 Location: Paradise

CentralCali · Joined: 17 May 2007

Don't listen to gossip?

But if you know the guy and you think it would help him out, you could mention to him that there's gossip around that he's looking down girls' tops.

poet13 · Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 5:59 pm Post subject:

Gossip? A middle school girl telling me her teacher is looking down her top is gossip? It's firsthand information.

...help him out? I'm not sure I want to be seen as trying to "help out" someone who looks down little girls tops.

Could it be untrue? I suppose. I know the girl well enough to say I don't think she would make up something like that. She said it in the same tone of voice that she said he had a funny accent. She didn't seem to be bothered at all by it.

It's not that I'm outraged. I'm not. It's creepy and a little gross. But...this is a small place, and we foreigners are few enough that we are all lumped together. It took several years to stop hearing about the foreigners that were caught banging their students (15yr olds - en flagrante)

dean_burrito · Joined: 12 Jun 2007

Having one girl student that favors and misses you is not first hand knowledge of what is happening. This teacher is in a class with a co-teacher and I'm sure the co-teacher would not let some sex maniac run freely around the class.
You'd really mess this person's life up by making these accusations that you can't verify one way or the other. Plus aren't these girls in school uniforms? Why would anything be visible? The girls story doesn't add up. At least not hearing it third person and not knowing her.

Fishead soup · Joined: 24 Jun 2007 Location: Korea

Morgen · Joined: 02 Jul 2008

I agree that this isn't necessarily enough information to take any serious action on, and it would screw over both him and your lump of foreigners if you make a big deal about it and it turns out to be slanderous. Middle school girls don't have the best grip on reality, and if you tell his co-teacher she will not keep it to herself. Just take him aside and let him know that you've heard about it, and if he is doing it he'll know it's noticed and has already gotten back to you. If he isn't, hopefully he'll realize he needs to be more careful when he's bending over to check their work.

DCJames · Joined: 27 Jul 2006

ekul · Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Location: [Mod Edit]

I know someone back home who was accused of indecently assaulting one of his female students. I cannot remember all the facts because the only reason I knew him was because he used to sell hooky clothes after he lost his job, his marriage, his kids and spent time inside. It came to light after a few years that the girl just made it all up to spite him, it was only because she grew up a little and realised what she did that she owned up.

Goku · Joined: 10 Dec 2008

It's completely unverifiable if he is looking at his middle school girls.

Even if he is, (while horrendous and disgusting) it's not against the law to look and you really can't do anything about it.

If I choose to look a man passing me on the subway. You have no idea that maybe I'm having lurid disgusting thoughts of kissing the inside of his mouth and attaching my tongue to the back of his molars. Or I could just be admiring his white tailored shirt (who knows). Maybe I'm fantasizing about ripping his head off with a chainsaw.

And keep in mind she's a middle school girl. Her perception of things maybe skewed from reality.

However, it's probably he's having dirty thoughts. As long as he's not acting on them, he's not harming anyone.

I have fantasys of beating up people. I also have fantasies of elaborate murders and bank heists. As long as I don't act on any of them, I'm not harming anyone.

If he starts telling you he's thinking about diddling the students then be concerned, but as long as his intentions are far from clear, take it with a grain of salt

poet13 · Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 8:16 pm Post subject:

DCjames. I wasn't hanging out with her. We ran into each other outside the supermarket where I was buying stuff for family.

Fishead soup. "I have to agree with this one. The idea of the person looking down the girls tops is absurd." I don't think it's absurd at all, but I've never really thought about how much you can see down a school uni top. There's a reason Korean women are careful to hold their tops closed and the back of their blouses down.
I was the previous teacher, and I was strict. Lot's of pushups for both boys and girls. NO candy. Games were once a year at Christmas.

dean_burrito. "Having one girl student that favors and misses you is not first hand knowledge of what is happening. This teacher is in a class with a co-teacher and I'm sure the co-teacher would not let some sex maniac run freely around the class. "
The first hand knowledge is simply her word. Sometimes we have co-teachers and sometimes we don't. (that's a royal "we") I wasn't accusing him of being a sex maniac.

Did, or does he look down girls tops? I don't know. That's why I came here asking others what they would do.

Is the girl credible in my eyes, given her age? Given how it was told to me, in passing, and from what I know of her, I wouldn't expect her to lie.

Am I going to trash his job? No. But if he were to brag to me about how nice his students *beep* were, he'd get that slap in the mouth in mentioned earlier.

Am I going to do anything else? Like say something to him? I suppose I should, but as I said before, I don't want to be perceived as "helping" him by warning him that the students think he's dong that.

Am I worried that if he is in fact window shopping, will he escalate to molesting? Yes, I am. We are a small community in my city, and when one gets pinched for something, the rest are looked at sideways.

michaelambling · Joined: 31 Dec 2008 Location: Paradise

Joe666 · Joined: 19 Nov 2008 Location: Jesus it's hot down here!

ekul wrote: I know someone back home who was accused of indecently assaulting one of his female students. I cannot remember all the facts because the only reason I knew him was because he used to sell hooky clothes after he lost his job, his marriage, his kids and spent time inside. It came to light after a few years that the girl just made it all up to spite him, it was only because she grew up a little and realised what she did that she owned up.

ekul is 100% correct. This scenario happens more than you would like to believe. I also heard a similar horror story that was absolutly true. Wrecked the guy's life for nothing.

Morgen · Joined: 02 Jul 2008

She might not be lying as far as she knows, but that still doesn't mean that what she says is true. As someone posted above, young girls don't always realize the seriousness of such allegations (at least in the west) which might mean it's something she and her friends have cooked up amongst themselves based on their misinterpretations. Never underestimate the capacity of a pubescent girl to distort reality in her own mind. (As a woman, though, yeah I've noticed Korean guys do leer down your shirt if there is the least bit of gaping.)

Seriously, I would just bring it up with him as a warning about how people perceive his behavior, and his reaction will probably tell you what you need to know. If you can broach it in a "Hey man, you should know I've been hearing stories that the students think you look down their shirts" casual manner he might even say something to give himself away rather than immediately being on the defensive if you just accused him.