Korean Job Discussion Forums

[earthbound14]

Mixed couples; How did your parents react to you dating or marrying someone of a different colour/nationality/ethnic background?

For me, my family was happy and thought it was really interesting that I was marrying a Korean girl. They never made any mention of it when I dated girls with different skin colour back home, but they seemed kind of excited actually (as was I) about the fact that my wife is from a completely different culture.

My Korean family was not so nice. They urged my then girlfriend (now wife) to leave me and it was a very stressful time for both of us. It was something she felt she must understand (and thus trapped between her parent's anger and her love for me) but something I was very anrgy about. Her and her parents don't seem to understand why I should be so angry about it...it is of course natural for this to be a strange and difficult thing for them. Never mind that my parents would have welcomed her and her family with open arms.

Things have gotten much better once they got to know me and found out I was not at all like what they saw on Korean TV and in the news (as that seems to have been where they got some of their ideas from).

I'm just curious what others have experienced. Whether or not this is common, and whether or not any of you have faced racism from your family over this. I know one friend whose father strongly objects to him dating a Korean women (he deserves to be kicked in the nuts).

[eamo]

My experience was roughly same as OP. For a couple of months they didn't like the idea of their daughter marrying a crazy foreigner until they met the crazy foreigner and saw that he wasn't crazy. Much.

[djsmnc]

I was told to keep my hands off the 황색 여자s. Men in sheets came to my apartment and burned a cross in the flowerpot hanging out my window. I stayed with her though, though, even when Koreans wouldn't sit next to me on the bus and scolded me for sitting in the 노약 seats. I was forced to work in a dishonorable position and entertain people by being a stereotypical representation of people of my race and background for a low wage.

[earthbound14]

[SHANE02]

Both very happy and supportive.

[hellofaniceguy]

In the end, it doesn't really matter.

[GreenlightmeansGO]

Not married, so I can't really cast my vote.

I've only met my GF's mother - still too scared to meet her father. The mother really likes me and she's quite modern-thinking. The rest of her family, however, have said bad things about foreigners (as my GF has not told them about me, either, so it got quite heated). I think I posted about it more than a year ago...if anyone wants to check.

What bugs me is what her friends think of our relationship. Almost all of them think we are not serious, that we will break up and that my GF should just have fun with me before she meets a good Korean man. Also, some ajumma tell her to date other men, just in case.

I know I went off the topic, but I think it kinda illuminates the point that relationships here are often tough and opinions about those relationships are very often so archaic you wish you were wearing armour.

[Young FRANKenstein]

Everyone involved were happy... except the Korean mom (dad wasn't in the picture). We announced our engagement to cheers and congratulations from her siblings and such... which were VERY quickly silenced when mom immediately threatened to disown her if she married me. So endeth the engagement, I'm pretty sure in record time, too.

[DJTwoTone]

The In-laws were actually the first to suggest marriage...

Actually, I deal with more racism from my wife than from her family...

She called me a big nose in front of her grandmother a few months ago, and her grandmother told her to shut up because she had a big nose too... I didn't stop laughing for days.

[Joe666]

Young FRANKenstein wrote:

[benji]

Upon meeting my Korean girlfriend for the first time my father relayed his stories of poverty and hookers from when he was statoned here.
My brothers just said things like "me so horny" and " me love you long time".
And my mom just repeatedly asked if Japan beautiful this time of year.

All in all not too bad.

[PRagic]

Her family was supportive from the get-go, but they were blunt in their line of reasoning: I wasn't military, I had studied Korean and could communicate with them, and I worked in education...all good. Had any of those criteria not been in my favour, it would have been a deal breaker.

Mine had serious reservations, mostly because my dad and uncles had been in the Marines during the Korean War. They completely changed their tune, though, once they got to meet the Mrs. 15 years together, 12 of 'em married, and still going strong.

[bassexpander]

Everyone was supportive all-around. My wife's father passed away before we began dating, though. My wife once told me he would have never allowed the relationship.

[benji]

[Captain Corea]

My in-laws were more concerned with my feelings on Christianity than my skin color.