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8minutepopsong
Joined: 02 Aug 2009
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 Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 1:07 am Post subject: making friends outside of work? |
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| any fail/success stories? i'm 26 years old and i'm not sure if i want to be hanging out with work people whenever i need companionship, especially if they're much older than me. advice? |
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ppcg4
Joined: 16 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 3:46 am Post subject: |
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| Well you could be like me and find an emotionally abusive girlfriend that will force you to make her the center of your life, and about 9 months later, have her decide she wants to see other people, and that despite your best efforts (financial and emotional) to keep her happy, she said that the only thing you're good for is sex... |
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8minutepopsong
Joined: 02 Aug 2009
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| Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 3:49 am Post subject: |
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man, why you gotta bring down this thread before it even had a chance to spread its wings and fly?  |
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Carla
Joined: 21 Nov 2008
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| Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 3:53 am Post subject: |
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| 8minutepopsong wrote: |
| man, why you gotta bring down this thread before it even had a chance to spread its wings and fly? |
Most people for me were just work friends. Very nice, but generally, we didn't hang out after work. I only had one person I spent a lot of time with outside.
I mainly made friends just aroung town.
The main thing about getting involved with work people is there no longer is any seperation. Anything that goes on in your personal life will go around at work too, so choose people you trust. |
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wakingup
Joined: 20 May 2009
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| Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 6:07 am Post subject: Re: making friends outside of work? |
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| 8minutepopsong wrote: |
| any fail/success stories? i'm 26 years old and i'm not sure if i want to be hanging out with work people whenever i need companionship, especially if they're much older than me. advice? |
There are facebook and meetup groups for a variety of interests, so that helps. Honestly, my first two months felt really rough for me in making friends, but eventually, you see the same people on the streets every day, and you get to talking...
I think it's harder for girls because a) there are less female expats here and b) a guy will sometimes just go alone to a bar if he wants to meet people; I guess a girl could, too, but I never would! Also, I have no interest in having a Korean girlfriend, which is what a lot of male expats do with their free time...
Really, it just takes time, but most people aren't used to landing with 0 friends. So, if you're not coming over with any friends, the first few weeks or months might be a bit rough. Working at a hagwon helps because you do have your co-workers. But, yeah, eventually you want to break free of that. |
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gaffe
Joined: 06 Aug 2009
Location: N.C.
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| Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 6:10 am Post subject: |
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| ppcg4 wrote: |
| Well you could be like me and find an emotionally abusive girlfriend that will force you to make her the center of your life, and about 9 months later, have her decide she wants to see other people, and that despite your best efforts (financial and emotional) to keep her happy, she said that the only thing you're good for is sex... |
the sex part was probably a lie too |
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ppcg4
Joined: 16 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 6:15 am Post subject: |
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| gaffe wrote: |
| ppcg4 wrote: |
| Well you could be like me and find an emotionally abusive girlfriend that will force you to make her the center of your life, and about 9 months later, have her decide she wants to see other people, and that despite your best efforts (financial and emotional) to keep her happy, she said that the only thing you're good for is sex... |
the sex part was probably a lie too |
If that were true, she wouldn't keep coming back. Discussion over. Back to OP's original discussion. |
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peppermint
Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: traversing the minefields of caddishness.
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| Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 6:53 am Post subject: |
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| Get involved in things! I met tons of people from things like Korean lessons and stuff. |
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gaffe
Joined: 06 Aug 2009
Location: N.C.
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| Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 7:07 am Post subject: |
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| ppcg4 wrote: |
| gaffe wrote: |
| ppcg4 wrote: |
| Well you could be like me and find an emotionally abusive girlfriend that will force you to make her the center of your life, and about 9 months later, have her decide she wants to see other people, and that despite your best efforts (financial and emotional) to keep her happy, she said that the only thing you're good for is sex... |
the sex part was probably a lie too |
If that were true, she wouldn't keep coming back. Discussion over. Back to OP's original discussion. |
dude, you brought up your unbalanced nympho of a gf on an open forum full of ESL teachers
the discussion's over when everyone's bored with you...
*crickets*
okay, discussion's over |
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Sector7G
Joined: 24 May 2008
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| Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 7:20 am Post subject: |
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| gaffe wrote: |
| ppcg4 wrote: |
| gaffe wrote: |
| ppcg4 wrote: |
| Well you could be like me and find an emotionally abusive girlfriend that will force you to make her the center of your life, and about 9 months later, have her decide she wants to see other people, and that despite your best efforts (financial and emotional) to keep her happy, she said that the only thing you're good for is sex... |
the sex part was probably a lie too |
If that were true, she wouldn't keep coming back. Discussion over. Back to OP's original discussion. |
dude, you brought up your unbalanced nympho of a gf on an open forum full of ESL teachers
the discussion's over when everyone's bored with you...
*crickets*
okay, discussion's over |
Well, the OP did ask for advice. Maybe this was just a cautionary tale on his part. Plus it added some levity. I liked it. |
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dalem
Joined: 30 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 7:21 am Post subject: |
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| I have a hard tiem with this too. I came here with my boyfriend, and he's great, but sometimes it's nice to just have some friends to go out with. Previously, 'meetups' and facebook groups were mentioned. Where can i find these 'meetups'? What kind of facebook groups? |
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tatertot
Joined: 21 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 7:58 am Post subject: |
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| dalem wrote: |
| I have a hard tiem with this too. I came here with my boyfriend, and he's great, but sometimes it's nice to just have some friends to go out with. Previously, 'meetups' and facebook groups were mentioned. Where can i find these 'meetups'? What kind of facebook groups? |
The meetups are at meetup.com. There are 37 meetup groups in Seoul, at the time I write this. I don't know about the facebook groups though.
http://www.meetup.com/cities/kr/seoul/groups/ |
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Auslegung
Joined: 14 Jan 2009
Location: MB, SC
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| Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 8:01 am Post subject: |
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| Go to meetup.com and look about in your city, the site's pretty great and you could spend at least an hour there perusing everything. Same with facebook, I live in a fairly small town and was able to find some people just by searching for the city name. |
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Conrad B Hart
Joined: 27 Jul 2009
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| Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 9:17 am Post subject: Re: making friends outside of work? |
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| wakingup wrote: |
| 8minutepopsong wrote: |
| any fail/success stories? i'm 26 years old and i'm not sure if i want to be hanging out with work people whenever i need companionship, especially if they're much older than me. advice? |
There are facebook and meetup groups for a variety of interests, so that helps. Honestly, my first two months felt really rough for me in making friends, but eventually, you see the same people on the streets every day, and you get to talking...
I think it's harder for girls because a) there are less female expats here and b) a guy will sometimes just go alone to a bar if he wants to meet people; I guess a girl could, too, but I never would! Also, I have no interest in having a Korean girlfriend, which is what a lot of male expats do with their free time...
Really, it just takes time, but most people aren't used to landing with 0 friends. So, if you're not coming over with any friends, the first few weeks or months might be a bit rough. Working at a hagwon helps because you do have your co-workers. But, yeah, eventually you want to break free of that. |
Aren't there a LOT of female FT's there? As I keep hearing (and have seen for myself) that many employers only want 'blonde female westerners'.
Also what about the 'Russian escorts'?
I too have little interest in having a Korean girlfriend. I dislike the gross materialism of Western girls enough, so if I'm to believe what I've read, I expect that I'll totally hate all Korean girls.
Depending on where I'm posted I'd probably make some friends by joining a sports team. Other than that, I suspect I'll be able to get through a few books and also learn to play guitar or something. |
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wylies99
Joined: 13 May 2006
Location: I'm one cool cat!
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| Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 3:38 pm Post subject: |
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| peppermint wrote: |
| Get involved in things! I met tons of people from things like Korean lessons and stuff. |
and museums and restaurants 
There are Seoul food groups on facebook- just about whatever you like. |
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