Korean Job Discussion Forums

[newyork10005]

I don't know what it is exactly.
I do love my mom and dad, but we don't talk very often.
Not that I don't want to talk to them, but I feel.. we don't know how to talk to each other.
My parents went through times they almost got divorced.
it was very ugly, and I saw all that.
They have told me things that hurt me so bad, I always cry whenever I recall that moment.
But I left all that in the past, well I try.

I know they are gonna be old and weak. I do want to be there for them.
I love them. but it feels awkward talking to them.
I just feel we are so [Mod Edit] up emotionally to each other.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.


I'm just wondering.. do any of you have gone through times like I'm having?
How are your parents??
Sometimes, I get so upset that I don't have parents like typical mom&dad.
like the ones you would see in family movies.
Am I being too idealistic???

[asams]

The reason you don't have parents like in family movies is because it's a MOVIE. The Cleavers are not your typical next door neighbors. All families are a little messed up. I've had my fair share of arguments and even close to physical fights with my parents but I've come to respect them for the way they raised me and they're always there for me whenever I need them.

[Kwangjuchicken]

I have had no family for about 1/2 of my life now. I am long over it.

[thoreau]

To the OP - are you in Korea and your parents in the States?

If so, talking over a long distance can be very awkward. I know that you guys have history - but being so far apart doesn't help you to get any closer to them.

Part of the thing with family is feeling needed. A strong family will depend on each other and help each other. I wonder if something you could do is ask some basic advice of your parents the next time you talk. Even the most simplest thing.

Say you are having issues with a co-teacher or boss, tell your mom or dad about the situation and ask for suggestions. Then follow up with them in a month or so. Start building a meaningful line of communication.

Maybe send a random gift or trinket home from Korea. A handwritten letter with a photo inside of you on top of some hill or surrounded by one of your classes. Remind them of who you are and what you are doing.

It will probably be a lot of work on your part at first but hopefully a breakthrough will happen sooner or later.

I know in my own family my dad isn't much of a talker. My mom doesn't tell me things that are going on because she thinks she is 'protecting' me. So at times conversation is stressed and I don't know why. Only later I find out that something was wrong with my dad or sister and no one wanted me to worry about it. Funny thing is, now I worry all the time. Even when things seem good I'm thinking, 'What are they keeping from me?'

Good luck on rebuilding that relationship. It will be worth it in the long run.

[The evil penguin]

[manlyboy]

My parents beat the crap out of me as a kid and I love them to death.

[flakfizer]

My advice might not fit well with you as my situation is quite different. My parents and I skype every week and we get along very well. If our relationship were strained, I would do one of two things: I would just completely move on with my life expecting nothing from them ever again, or I would try hard and continuously to reconcile with them. Some relationships are worth fighting for and some are not. But you sound like you're in the middle. If you want to have better relationship with your parents, then make it a priority and do what it takes. Mostly, it sounds like it will take some forgiveness and meekness. I'd bet that if you forgave your parents and humbly sought to improve your relationship with them, you would find that not only your relationship would improve, but you would too as an individual. If after trying hard to reconcile they seemed unmoved and uninterested, you could more easily conclude that it's best to move on instead.

[itaewonguy]

My Parents were cool... my mum very cool, and my dad pretty chilled...
they argued a lot, but they never abused us or treated us unfairly..

they are divorced now.. and I get along great with both of them..
I know many people who hate their parents.. have fought their father, or brothers, told their mothers to F O walked out of their lives etc..
some friends parents were real LOSERS!!!

I have had my arguements with my parents just like everyone else
just kid stuff you know.. me thinking I am all grown up and dont have to listen to my mum becuase I am 14 now hahahahaha..

but nothing bad compared to others.. my parents loved us.. I guess that was the difference.. some people shouldnt have children, and some people shouldnt be married.. many of my friends can swear by that...

Ive had friends where their fathers would beat them so bad..
they would come to school with bruises and chit..
Im like how can a father beat their own children??? and the father was about 40 years old.. mothers who would tease and beat their children..
again women aged 40ish... doesnt make any sense...
sure we got smacked, and punished.. but not punched in the face or beaten up with a club or something..

my parents were good people, good friends, and good parents..
we get along great ...
you cant chose your family, I was lucky with mine..
sure my father wasnt my bestfriend or something like that, take us camping every month or hang out with us every weekend play sports and chit but he was there for us ..... my father was the workaholic type, to support us and put food on the table.. he was old school immigrant type... but sundays was family day, and he wouldnt work , he would take us places..

life is to short to have regrets.. if your parents were not that bad to you..
try to understand their personalities and make a friendship..
if they were complete kunts to you and you hated them growning up and you still think they are idiots.. then well.. yeah...I dont know...

[schwa]

My folks are dead.

I gave my mom her first computer on her 75th birthday & she figured it out pretty well & we kept up emails for about 10 years till her smarts started to give out. Then in her last 3 years Korea enabled me to subsidize her in a nice nursing home back in Canada & I visited twice a year.

My father died some years ago. I really wish he could have witnessed the turn my life took, I think he would have been proud. Maybe he's looking over my shoulder. Heres to ya, dad.

You only get one set of parents.

[AgentM]

I get along well with both my parents, luckily for me. However, that said, we're not the closest family ever. My little sister lives in the same city as I, and even attends the same university, but we don't hang out much. I talk to my parents by phone and e-mail every so often, but distances are such that I don't get to see them in person very often, perhaps once or twice a year.

It sometimes feels like I'm closer to the relatives I have here in town than my own parents. I know of some families that have family dinners and stuff, it makes me sad sometimes that my family isn't as close; the fact that my parents are separated probably has something to do with it.

I wish my family was closer, but I guess that's just part of growing up. I can't run my life around being close to my folks...

[hellakitty]

I consider my parents good friends. It has certainly not always been that way, but I found it really took a turn for the better after I left home and began travelling overseas. Now that I am home I usually spend atleast one night at my parents (it helps that they have a beautiful home on the water) but I realize I am fortunate to have parents who are;

a) still together

b) can see me as an adult

Some people's parents are never satisfied with their children's accomplishments and/or treat them like children still. I have friends whose mothers were more immature then they were - I think it depends not only on the child but also the parents, as some people are just not worth having relationships with, even family.

[beercanman]

pretty good
Dad died in 1992
Mom is insane

thanks for asking

Daddy was weird but smart. Mommy was always nuts but a kind person.

[bluelake]

I love my folks very much. They are older (going on 84 y.o.), so I probably won't have that many more years to visit them. My dad has Parkinson's, so his mobility is low; he had a slight stroke several years ago, so that affected a lot else. My mom has arthritis, neuropathy, sciactica, autoimmune liver disease, diabetes, etc., and yet she is doing her best to take care of my dad.

For the past 1-1/2 months, I've been visiting with them and have done my best to help them out. It gave my siblings and their husbands a little breather, which they needed. I wish I could do more, but I'm heading back to Korea on Monday.

[AgentM]

[thoreau]

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